Comments on: Why the Gori of Gori Girl?

By: Jamily5

Jamily5 — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 22:16:13 +0000

For me, I have always been blind, so I have been a bit excluded from my family and such. What this did do is to allow me to have an empathy for those who were not the majority. I have always loved language and culture. I have not had economic means to travel and wish that I could. (have only traveled once to Sweden for 2wks), but my family is not intercultural/interracial at all. But, much of my life was spent in a blind school (Boarding school setting) which expanded my world view. It is a choice. I have known many friends in the same situations as I am and they are still closed to cultural experiences. IA says that “Gori” has no negative connotations.

By: To Be or Not to Be “Desi” That is the Question… « Musings from an American-Nepali Household

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:07:14 +0000

[...] heard it, and now I felt like I heard it all the time. (It’s the same with the term “gori“– I had never heard that term before until I started reading blogs!) So I started [...]

By: Chris

Chris — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 15:25:46 +0000

The word does not have any negative connotations. It is perfectly neutral. It is the correct proper term to describe fair-skinned. So, if I were describing a person to a police sketch artist in India, I would say gora to refer to a fair-skinned Indian male.
When used in the US, it could have the connotation of “Whitey”, which could peraps be considered as mildly offensive.

By: BrownInTheUSA

BrownInTheUSA — Mon, 12 May 2008 15:04:32 +0000

Small world… I have lived all over the DC area, Maryland and now N. VA. I lived in New Delhi years ago growing up. A similar theme, moving from one capital city to another.

DC with all its monuments and edifices sometimes seems like a city of stone temples dedicated to forgotten gods.

By: Gori Girl

Gori Girl — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:32:57 +0000

@ BrownInTheUSA – Aditya had a very similar experience to yours, and he’s also mentioned that moving all over India has helped him learn to feel “at home” anywhere, including here in the States. We live in the DC area too. Until recently we were *right* next to the Iwo Jima memorial, where there’s a Marine event every week during the summer for the tourists.

By: BrownInTheUSA

BrownInTheUSA — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 02:55:32 +0000

Hi,

I think growing up in the army base life in India is almost like a parallel but separate world compared to how most (traditional) Indians live. Most army brats are used to moving around far more than the average kids. I went through 5 schools and lived in 4 states before I finished my education there. Probably made it easy to adapt to living in a foreign country too. I also have a hard-wired affinity for all things military… living in the DC area lets me indulge in that bit of nostalgia with the local Air Force air shows and Marine marching bands. Connects the present with the past.

By: NeoKalypso

NeoKalypso — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 23:34:09 +0000

Yea GG and PR, I start to have, like, an existential allergic reaction when I’m at all white bars/parties in my city. This intermittent itch started affecting me after I experienced foreign travel (like real foreign…China, Mongolia…India) and seeing how different ways of living/thinking can be so valid. I’m not sure exactly why I’ve noticed this phenomenon so much … maybe travel makes you realize how wonderfully small you actually are in the world and it poses so many alternative possibilities that homogeneity actually feels sort of stifling. Whereas, “sameness” might not have bothered you so much before if you never had a pluralistic clue in your life…

By: BrownInTheUSA

BrownInTheUSA — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 21:11:52 +0000

Hi,

I think growing up in the army life in India is almost like a parallel but separate world compared to how most (traditional) Indians live. Most army kids are used to moving around far more than the average kids. I think I went through 5 schools before I finished. Probably makes it easy to adapt to living in a foreign country too. I also have a hard-wired familiarity with all things military… was watching an air show at Andrews Air Force Base in MD and felt a wave of nostalgia looking around. Watching the Marine Corps Band perform in DC on July 4th also brings back memories of year ago. I suppose the military theme does bring a common thread across time, space and cultures (to me anyway).

By: Gori Girl

Gori Girl — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:45:28 +0000

@ BrownInTheUSA: Glad you enjoy the blog, and thanks for stopping by! I’d love to hear your insights as another army brat/Indian in America.

@ PattuRani: thanks for stopping by the blog. Hawaii is a VERY diverse area – I have some family there, so I’ve been lucky enough to visit the islands a time or two. And I completley understand your wanting to live in an Asian area in NYC – I just feel *weird* being in all white areas!

By: PattuRani

PattuRani — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:15:11 +0000

I can relate to the ‘token white girl’ issue – I grew up in Hawaii among people of mostly East Asian and Polynesian ancestry – frequently I was the only ‘haole’ in the class. I am so comfortable with Asian culture that when I moved to NYC I chose to live in Flushing, which is largely Asian(both desi and Chinese/Korean) – in my immediate neighborhood there are something like 5-6 Hindu temples, a Sikh gurudwar(sp?), a mosque, and maybe 10-12 Indo-Pak groceries.

By: BrownInTheUSA

BrownInTheUSA — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 04:01:34 +0000

Hi,
I’ve read through your blog with great interest. Being an Indian (now naturalized American) and an army brat too, married to an American, I found a lot of familiar experiences described quite eloquently in your postings. I wish you and Aditya all the best !

By: Gori Girl

Gori Girl — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:32:48 +0000

I agree, Mirchi – it’s just never a good idea to lose yourself for any sort of relationship.

By: Mirchi

Mirchi — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:50:47 +0000

I really like that you said this “So for all of you who are embracing your partners’ cultures: I absolutely applaud your efforts, but do be careful to not forget yourself in the process.”

As an old married woman(at least I feel that way sometimes!) I do advise others in this situation to try to be yourself. Werent you that way when your man fell for you? Naturally one goes through some changes as you get older, exposed to things or by being with a spouse for periods of time, even when the spouse is of the same background.

By that, I dont mean not to incorporate things you enjoy or learn things you are interested in, or to occasionally do things for the other person. But, Ive also seen women who agree to things for the sake of love(changing religion, becoming vegetarian, not celebrating Christmas, how to raise kids) only to regret it later or worse, become resentful. Changing oneself for the wrong reasons tends to only last so long.

To be honest though, I have had people think that I am that woman, simply because I do live a rather Indian lifestyle. Oddly enough, my husband is the neutral party(he goes with the flow) here, and I was all this weirdo before he even met me

By: ara0062

ara0062 — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 00:17:35 +0000

Native American Indian LOL. Cherokee and Choctaw tribes married white people on both sides. Granddad was nearly 1/2 by the way it mixed, but he married my white 1/2 British grandma. So granddad was a little more tan than normal, causing my mom to get brown skin. My dad has the truly redskin from his heritage..and then I got grandma’s pasty white Casper-the-ghost skin LOL. My granddad’s parents turned down the land, so were stricken from the rolls because of identical thing as sf said. We have very few pictures family pictures, but one of the cousins has a picture of my great great grandfather in full N.A. indian attire. People have always joked that I was adopted LOL. I don’t want to lose either part of my heritage though because I am proud of all of it.

The indian guy I was dating used to use the same joke SF about Indians dating Indians although it wasn’t the same LOL.

By: Gori Girl

Gori Girl — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:51:00 +0000

@ mocroidh: glad to hear you’re enjoying the blog! I’ll add the “balancing of cultures” post to the long queue of things I want to write about. I think it’s really great that you’re so open to having your inlaws live with you – I’m not sure if I could do that at this time in my life. Aditya’s parents will be coming for a several months’ stay this summer, so we’ll see how that goes. Do let us know how the mixed-culture household turns out!

@ ara0062: thanks for your kind words. What’s your “mixed heritage”, if you don’t mind me asking ?

@ D: India certainly does have (many) strong & rich cultures, but America does too – the US has just exported so much of its culture (say, jeans & t-shirts) that it seems like a world thing now, rather than a US thing.

@ CaliforniaTransplant: my awareness of race is mostly in hindsight, like you point out. Being around a bunch of Asians was just “the norm” when I was growing up, and I didn’t think much about it at the time.

We didn’t take shoes off at my childhood home, either, but as soon as I had my own place in college shoes off became the rule.

@ sf: I really appreciated the little statues and pictures we received at our wedding too – well, that and the saris… One thing I like to do when I enter an Indian home is to count the number of Ganeshes. We have (off the top of my head) at least 7 decorating the place. How many do you have?