Tag Archive | "traditions"

Intercultural Hospitality in Our Mixed Home

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

12 Comments

A commenter at this site, Lurker Frequent (aka LF), has once again asked a really interesting set of related questions in the comments section of a recent post that I'd like to address as a proper post, since I have plenty to say on the topic. Here's his questions: I am very curious to know about relationship dynamics in your Indian American Household, with regards to the cultural differences in customs in India and America. More specifically, in India, people invite each other over and unexpectedly drop in and hang out and do things together. In the US it's more planned, and “khatirdari” is less common in this DIY land. How does it work in your family? How do you handle all the social obligations of an Indian wife? ... the Indian bahu is “supposed” to do a bunch of stuff like cook, clean, wash, entertain the guests, manage social life etc. etc etc. It's all voluntary though, no pressures in modern day families. How's your “Bahurani” experience been like? Do you guys do all of that? I think I'll shelve the "chores" section of the question for a later date to focus on the hospitality portion of LF's question. So what follows here are my thoughts on hospitality generally in intercultural households, the interculturalness (or lack thereof) of our household hosting , and some general tips that might be of use to others.

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Christmas Wedding Gifts

Monday, March 10, 2008

11 Comments

Indians rock at the wedding gift-giving thing. In fact, I think the Indian version of giving wedding presents is far superior to the typical American way. This belief of mine is based on the one Indian wedding I’ve attended – my own – so it’s not exactly statistically sound. But I think my experience is enlightening, nonetheless, and I’m told it’s fairly typical. Last Christmas, exactly a year and four days after our civil ceremony in the US, Aditya and I had our Hindu wedding in India. The date was picked for a combination of reasons: it was auspicious according to the astrologer Maa (Aditya’s mother) consulted; the weather in Calcutta would be near perfect for anyone not from Calcutta; and, most importantly, the groom and I could get time off of our jobs in D.C. to fly halfway around the world. Of course, the timing also meant that I couldn’t spend the holidays with my culturally-Christian family in California, exchanging gift cards (Best Buy for Aditya, Borders for me), and watching various younger cousins, nieces, and nephews play with the cardboard boxes their toys came in. Still, I consented to go to India. We get out to the West Coast every season anyways, and I was told there’d be presents for me in India. (Sure, it also meant I could finally meet Aditya’s sister and his extended family, perform important Hindu marriage rites, see his homeland, etc, etc, whatever – today’s focus is on presents.) Shall I start with the reasons why Indian wedding gifts are excellent?

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