The photo of my family chowing down demonstrates the two main things you need to know about eating Indian food: it’s traditionally done with your hands (mostly the right hand actually – more on that in a bit) AND it’s okay to not be traditional. If you’re uncomfortable eating with your hands, then don’t. No one will look down on you, or think less of you if you ask for silverware.

However, for those of you interested adventuring outside of Western-style table manners, I have a few hard-learned tips and tricks to help you chow down politely.

One: The Left Hand Taboo

The only strict, do-not-break rule of eating in India is to only use your right hand to touch any food. In India, like in many other non-Western countries, the left hand is considered unclean – a conclusion which follows logically enough from its typical use in the bathroom.

Your highest goal should be to avoid any use of you left hand once the meal starts – consider it superglued to your lap or the side of the table, if you can. In practice, just keep from touching any actual food or a communal bowl with your left hand. Of course there’s a bit of a trick to this: what do you do when you’ve got bits of sauce and bread crumbs stuck to your right hand, and you need to grab your water glass or some more lamb from the pot?

The answer is that it, well, depends. The best option is to wipe your right hand on your napkin – that’s what it’s there for after all! If your hand is seriously coated with your curry, you might try wiping it on your bread first, both to save the delicious sauce and keep your napkin from being soaked through. If a napkin isn’t an option, or you need a drink right now because the lamb vindaloo is burning through your tongue, it’s okay to grab your glass with your left hand. Do try to avoid using the serving spoon with the left hand, though. If you do, well, c’est la vie – give a quick “oops, sorry” to the table, and leave it at that. Generally, as a non-Indian you shouldn’t worry much about committing a minor faux-pas like that. If you can avoid touching actual food with your left hand you’re doing well.

Two: Dealing with Bread

North Indian meals – and to a lesser extent, other areas of India – typically include some sort of bread as a staple ingredient. There are many types of Indian bread, ranging from very fluffy naan to heavy, flat paratha (which is often stuffed with vegetables or cheese, making it even heavier and more delicious). The main function of the bread is as a barrier between your hand and the piece of meat or vegetable you’re picking up. It is also useful for sopping up any stray sauce you may have on your plate.

The main difficulty for non-Indians in using bread is in tearing off a proper-sized piece to use. Remember the no-left-hand rule? It’s still in effect here***, so you’ll need to tear the bread using only your right hand. The secret is to pin the larger portion of the bread to your plate by planting down your ring and pinkie fingers, then use your thumb and other two fingers to tear away all the bread up to the two planted fingers. This takes practice, particularly if you have tiny hands like me. Get too much, and, well, you won’t be able to stuff it into your mouth. Get too little (my usual problem) and you won’t be able to pick up much more than a pea.

Once you’ve secured a good-sized piece of bread, use it to scoop up some food and sauce. Think of the motion as either a shovel action, or, if you prefer, the way you’d pick up something with a tissue. It’s okay if you get some sauce on your fingers: just lick it right off (but don’t make a production of said licking), or use a napkin. Some breads are easier to work with than others: I find both roomali roti (handkerchief thin bread), and paratha quite difficult to manage, both in tearing and scooping. If you’re having problems, just keep on trucking – it gets easier with practice.

Part II of how to eat Indian food will be up in a couple of days – we’ll be tackling my nemesis, eating rice with your hand, among other things.

***Actually, Aditya’s brother (Dada) uses both hands to tear his bread because, as Aditya puts it, “he’s a lazy bum”. It’s better if you don’t do this – however, if times get desperate, consider excusing yourself (“I know I’m not suppose to use my left hand, but I just can’t tear this naan…”) and go for the gusto.