Tag Archive | "Intercultural"
A Mixed Pair
It was really early in the morning, you see, when the dogs informed us that they needed to go out. My turn to let them out, unfortunately, but afterwards the three of us agreed the hike back upstairs was too long, so we settled on the couch for a nap until the sun was properly up. Well, Kajol - a total snugglebunny - and I settled on the couch, and Panda slept on the cool floor next to us. Panda Bear is the latest addition to our family, and, as an Alaskan Malamute, he tends to be a bit too warm to snuggle comfortably for that long indoors. He's about two and a half years old, and another rescue dog - poor pup spent most of his life tied in a field with grass so high he couldn't see out of it before Animal Cruelty rescued him. When he came to us he was twenty pounds underweight and didn't know what a treat was or how to play with another dog. He's still a bit of a failure with treats - he's excited to get one, but just drops it afterwards for Kajol to eat. Kajol, however, has taught him to play like a champion at the only game she knows: wrestling. We often look out onto the deck to see Kajol's head disappearing into Panda's massive jaw, or him just calmly sitting on Kajol while she struggles to get free. They're a well-matched pair, despite being from such different breeds - and I suppose there's a semi-corny lesson in there for all of us in an intercultural relationship, or, really, any mixed relationship where looks or personalities or abilities differ.
Continue reading...Any Chicagoites Interested in Some Press?
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I know we have some ladies (and perhaps gentlemen) here who call the Windy City home. Well, if any of you are interested, I've recently been contacted by a Chicago Tribune's Red Eye reporter, Alexia, about an article she's preparing to write on "meeting the parents." Alexia would like to include an intercultural couple in the article, and was wondering if anyone here would be interested in being interviewed: I'm a reporter with the Chicago Tribune's RedEye newspaper, a daily aimed at readers in their 20s and 30s. I stumbled across your blog while doing research for a story I'm writing. I'm wondering if you might be able to help with the story, given your blog's focus on intercultural relationship issues.
Continue reading...Indian Parental Problems: When Your Intercultural or Interracial Relationship Is Suddenly an Issue
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
A new reader to the blog, jbf, recently posted her personal story as a detailed comment in the post Initial Family Resistance to your Intercultural Relationship. Jbf's problem, however, is a bit different from the one highlighted in that post, so, with her permission, I'm hoisting her comment up into a post of its own, along with the comments from others that followed her original one. I'm sure she'd appreciate any further advice or suggestions you guys have. My own advice will be coming in the comments in a couple of hours. Of course, I'm not sure if I can do any better than what's been said so far - I'm very impressed with the level of thoughtful dialogue occuring here! Jbf's story & problems: I’m not sure if it is too late to comment on this, but I just came across it while searching for comfort in my situation. My friends and family have given me their support, but in matters of intolerance I do not know if they can offer anything more. I (a 25 yo white American girl) have been dating an Indian guy (born in America to Punjabi parents who moved here 2 years prior) for two years. I will call him B. We both hold graduate degrees and have careers. We met while in graduate school through mutual friends. We lived in different cities but found out that our parents lived only 15 minutes from each other. We quickly became close and decided to start a relationship despite the distance. I met his family very early on. They were receptive and welcomed me into their home. I even spent the night on multiple occasions. When he would come visit me he would bring small gifts from his mother, candles, potpourri, etc. I spent Christmas with his immediate family the last two years (I have not met extended family beyond cousins as dating is not a part of Indian culture). He graduated and started a job about a year ago. Within a few months of this we decided that when I graduated in a year I would find a job where he was and that we would move in together with the intent of being engaged within a year. Although untraditional it was important to both of us to be together in the same place before making such a commitment.
Continue reading...Confluence on the Roads: Thoughts about American, Indian, and German Traffic
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Yesterday Aditya and I made the trek to the holy queen of all box stores, IKEA. It was the first day of the Preview Summer Sale, so of course we were there, battle plan mapped out, lists made, room measurements at hand, and stomaches ready for meatballs. The plan was that I would arrive mid-afternoon with the U-Haul rental van (the better to transport our loot - we take IKEA seriously in this household), and Aditya would come directly from the office once he was off work at 7. Once there, my orders were to make one reconnaissance sweep, then head to the ground floor to secure the bed we've been trying to purchase for the past year. Yes, we've been sleeping with a mattress on the floor for a year rather than give up on our dream cheapo bed just because of little things like it always being out of stock. We plan, and God laughs. I think it was when the third firetruck passed me, sirens blaring, and traffic ground to a complete standstill that I realized I would not be reaching IKEA at 1300 hours. There I sat, stalled on the highway, surveying the baking asphalt meadows around. To pass the time, I started observing the cooperation of the other drivers in responding to the emergency vehicles and the on-going traffic jam, and thinking about how other car cultures I'm familiar with cooperate in their own ways.
Continue reading...Interracial Hate Crime in Elkhart, Indiana
Sunday, May 11, 2008
I've finished up with dreadful exams just in time to hear about a dreadful incident in northwest Indiana. According to the AP report: An interracial couple who awoke to find a burning cross in their front yard in Elkhart are praying for peace and asking for privacy. Maggie Williams says the cross burning took her and her husband, Adam, by surprise. The FBI is investigating the cross burning, which police are calling a hate crime. Elkhart police say the 5 1/2 by 3 1/2 foot wooden cross was left burning against a tree about 15 feet from the couple's front door about 2:30 a.m. May 2. The Williamses have met with Mayor Dick Moore and representatives from the police department, the FBI and the NAACP. Bradley Vite, a family friend, says they also expect to meet with a Department of Justice official.
Continue reading...Why the Gori of Gori Girl?
Friday, April 18, 2008
There's been some talk in the comments about the word gori, which, given the blog name, is probably a term you'll hear thrown around here from time to time. So I thought I'd explain what it means, some of the connotations it can carry, and why I chose it for the name of this blog - as well as my pen name. What does gori mean? The following was derived from Aditya’s lengthy comments on the etymology of the word gori – be thankful that I’m sparing you all of the tangential diatribes that developed during our conversation. Gori is a Hindi adjective that literally means “fair” or “light-complexioned”. The i at the end of the word is a feminine conjugation, so gori is often used as a noun, with the subject being understood without explicit reference. In this slightly looser interpretation of the word, gori can mean “pale female”, “fair woman”, or even “white girl”. The masculine version of gori is gora, which can be translated as white man. Since I’m awfully pale-skinned, at least in the winter, gori can be rightly used as an adjective to describe me, or as a noun in reference me.
Continue reading...Who is Affected by your Intercultural Relationship?
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Many people subscribe to the idea that your personal life is nobody's business but your own - as long as you aren't maiming others, anyways. While I generally agree with the sentiment this idea expresses, I also think it's important to realize that, like it or not, your actions affect a wide swath of people. In fact, at the margin, your actions affect the entire world. Let's all pause for a moment to ponder that grandiose thought while breaking out into The Circle of Life. Everyone back? Good. I brought up this topic because being in an intercultural relationships has a tendency to disrupt the "social equilibrium," if you will, of the people around you. In almost every country and region an intercultural relationship is the exception, not the norm. So while being in any relationship might affect those close to you - my dad still hasn't gotten over the fact that I'm no longer his little girl - intercultural relationships are both a regular ol' relationship and something of a challenge to the status quo. As if romantic relationships weren't tough enough on their own! In this post I'm focusing on how intercultural relationships, in particular, affect those around us. I'll start out by laying out a (non-comprehensive) list of the type of people who can be affected by your intercultural marriage or relationship, continue with how these effects ripple out through the social web of life, and then finish up with how much you should really care about it all. This post developed as I thought about how parents can react to their children's intercultural relationships - I'll be applying the principles and theory I develop here to that post, which will be the next "serious" one.
Continue reading...Indian Wedding Story: Part One
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I've mentioned previously that Aditya and I recently had our Hindu wedding ceremony in India, and I've been meaning to write a post or two (or a hundred) about my experiences in India. And then a reader mentioned that she liked the pictures of the wedding that are sprinkled around the GoriGirl site, and would be interested in seeing more of them. So I thought I'd combine these two ideas and post a couple of pictures each day, working through the story chronologically. We'll start off with our arrival in Calcutta (also known as Kolkata - but I'll go with my inlaw's usage), where the wedding took place.
Continue reading...10 Reasons You Should Learn Your Partner’s Native Language
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
A reader in the comments asked for me to discuss how I've dealt with language issues in my intercultural marriage. From my side of things there haven't been many issues, since Aditya speaks English very well. This has allowed me to be really lax (read: lazy) about learning his native language, Bengali, which I absolutely think I ought to do. While developing the post on our language issues, such as they are, I started to think about all the great reasons I should get off my butt and start studying Bengali. The personal post will be up tomorrow, but for now here are ten reasons in no particular order, along with a bit of explanation.
Continue reading...Intercultural Families in the New York Times
Monday, March 31, 2008
In case you didn't catch it, there was a news article today in the New York Times on interracial people, entitled Who Are We? New Dialogue on Mixed Race. Since many intercultural marriages end up producing little beings which grow up to have some of the issues discussed in the article, I thought it might be of interest to you guys here. The article starts off with the obligatory mention of how Barack Obama has churned up discussion on the issue of mixed races, and then transitions into discussing how interracial issues in America have changed in recent years. It's a good, comprehensive piece, and I particularly like the bits that cover how parents feel about their mixed-heritage children. If the topic interests you, try checking out some of the links on the Intercultural Relationship Resources page here on Gori Girl for something a bit meatier.
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Monday, January 5, 2009
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