Tag Archive | "inlaws"
Intercultural Interviews: Indian Parents’ Perspective (Part Two)
This is the second part of the interview I held with my husband Aditya's parents (you can find Part One here). This part starts off with an interlude on Maa and Baba's first meeting for their "semi-arranged" marriage, then continues on the topic of their first impressions of me. I finally got them to discuss some negatives: what they find difficult in having a non-Indian daughter-in-law and my (apparently) one fault. We also discussed some of the things they dislike about general American culture (as it relates to interpersonal relationships), and ended with some advice Maa and Baba have for intercultural couples, both generally and for those having some difficulty with Indian in-laws.
Continue reading...Intercultural Interviews: Indian Parents’ Perspective (Part One)
Friday, July 10, 2009
I sat down with Aditya's parents, Maa and Baba, a few nights ago with a list of eight questions to find out their views on American culture and intercultural relationships... and we ended up talking for over an hour, thus necessitating a Part One and a Part Two. Today's portion focuses on the early days: their worries on sending their youngest son, Aditya, to a foreign country, thoughts on American culture, dating, and their first interactions with me.
Continue reading...A Day in Our Lives – With Indian Inlaws
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
In a short few days the only hope I'll have in the blearly mornings is that it might just be Bagel Monday in the office. When I crawl out of my sleep coma, you see, sophisticated details like which day of the week it is are completely beyond me - any day could be Bagel Monday. My primitave mind is only concerned with two things: getting our dogs, Kajol & Panda to shut up and stop wrestling on my larynx and/or bladder, and what sustenance awaits me that might be a good enough incentive to get out of bed. This past month, though, Bagel Monday has diminished in significance, and glorious 20 Ounces of Ginger Tea Everyday (With Biscuits!) has replaced it as my main morning motivator. I love it when my in-laws are staying with us. Note that I didn't say visiting us - that would imply that Aditya's parents are house guests while they're here, while, as Baba says, it's their home too. Granted, our daily life changes some when Maa and Baba are here in Washington DC, the morning tea being just one example, but the changes are more minor than many people who hear my in-laws are in-town would expect. Since we're coming to the close of Maa & Baba's second extended stay out here (they were here last year in the late summer, and will be visiting once more this year), I thought that it'd be good time to write about the "typical day" in our household while Aditya's parents are here.
Continue reading...Arranged Marriages and Intercultural Relationships
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Aditya, my husband, shares a few thoughts about - in his words - "Indian men being 'forced' into arranged marriages" in his inaugural guest post. Having grown up in a relatively conservative family in India, I can understand the friction that can occur often between "the younger generation" and "traditional family"... and I especially sympathize with nice people like some of the readers here - or their partners - who suffer from the drudgery that often characterizes communications between these two groups. However, for the most part I think the blame for the difficult relations between Indian parents and their adult children lies squarely on the "younger generation" -of which I am a part. I think that most issues root from a tendency amongst Indian men and women (but I'm speaking to the guys mainly, since I am one) to refuse to engage their parents in a responsible and adult manner. I've been reading over Gori's shoulder as she delves back into the intercultural blogosphere, and some of the posts out there - such as The ties that bind by Elizabeth or the responding comment by Jessica, author of the blog Coffee and Tea, and, frankly, I cannot fathom how Elizabeth or Jessica's partners can, with a clear conscience, claim that an arranged marriage situation is somehow out of their control.
Continue reading...Any Chicagoites Interested in Some Press?
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I know we have some ladies (and perhaps gentlemen) here who call the Windy City home. Well, if any of you are interested, I've recently been contacted by a Chicago Tribune's Red Eye reporter, Alexia, about an article she's preparing to write on "meeting the parents." Alexia would like to include an intercultural couple in the article, and was wondering if anyone here would be interested in being interviewed: I'm a reporter with the Chicago Tribune's RedEye newspaper, a daily aimed at readers in their 20s and 30s. I stumbled across your blog while doing research for a story I'm writing. I'm wondering if you might be able to help with the story, given your blog's focus on intercultural relationship issues.
Continue reading...Wait… I Thought This Was MY House!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Aditya and I have both been pulling long hours at work during the past couple of weeks. Frankly, it's rare that we both get home before the night sets in. While we both have careers that have require long hours (my company's motto: "the hours here are flexible; you can come in as early as you want, and leave as late as you want"), recent project disasters have stretched our workdays beyond our version of normal. This is particularly unfortunate as Aditya's parents, Maa & Baba, are currently visiting us from India. Of course, they are here for two months, so it's not as if we won't end up having plenty of family time together - but I do wish they didn't have to spend so much time at our house by themselves. I worry about them getting bored; even Kajol, the energizer puppy, can only go for so many walks. I fret about all the interesting monuments and historic sites we aren't seeing in the evenings for lack of energy and sunlight. And I'm genuinely distraught that, at some point, they might break The System while we're away at the office.
Continue reading...The In-Laws Have Landed!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Among the suitcases (!) full of gifts, they brought me two large packages of Coffy Bite. This is our bedside table, as of three minutes ago. ... I daren't show you the carnage in the trash bin by the computer desk. (Don't worry - I will be posting LOTS more later - and regularly. However, I spent 13 hours at the office today, putting out metaphorical fires, and my brain is a little numb.)
Continue reading...Change Happens: Updates From Our Cross-Cultural Household
Monday, June 2, 2008
Gori Girl (the blog) isn't meant to be just a personal site - while I talk about my life and marriage a fair amount here, the point isn't to just blab to the interweb about my life (not that I don't enjoy blogs that do) , but instead to add something of value to yours. However, there's been a few shakeups in Aditya's and my lives recently - some of which has & will affect this blog - so I thought I'd just write a short update post, as well as write about a couple new features coming up in the sidebars. So consider this a metablog post, if you will.
Continue reading...More Calm, Less Storm
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Here's a short, positive guest post from contributor NeoKalypso of Doings & Undoings on family, loss, and understanding. As most of the regular readers know, I’m relatively new to my intercultural relationship with my South Indian guy, R. Though we’ve known each other for longer, in August we will be celebrating an official year together. Recently I had a very close family member pass away. It was an intense, emotional time and R was there for me every step of the way. He was with me through intimate family gatherings, saw where I grew up, and witnessed my grief over one of the greatest influences of my life. During all of this, my mind was often elsewhere, I was moody, and I was just all around uncharacteristically, but rightfully, sad. No one has even been a supportive part of my life like this before—usually I just buck up and find myself dealing with hard stuff alone. But R was there throughout everything: kind, listening, and not to mention absolutely loved by my family. He was my rock the whole time.
Continue reading...
Monday, July 13, 2009
39 Comments