The wedding ceremony took place in the evening, so Aditya and I were pretty free to do what we’d like the morning of the big day. His family had been planning the event all along – all we did was show up – so if there had there been any last minute catering disasters, for instance they were primed to take care of them. I was still a little jetlagged when I rolled out of bed, but figuring out how to operate the bucket-based showering system woke me up.

When I emerged dripping from the bathroom, Maa politely inquired whether I’d like to wear a sari, a salvar kameez, or whatever clothes I’d brought with me from the US. Now, as I’d never been to India before (and my inlaws refuse to purchase the high priced imported Indian clothes in the US), this was going to be my first time wearing Indian clothes. I decided to go all out, and start with a sari.

I remember that Maa was very pleased that I was willing to try out a sari. She gave me the petticoat and blouse with a big grin. Once I was in them, Bhabi, Aditya’s sister-in-law, came in to help me with the wrapping of the actual sari. Well, actually, I just stood there and rotated on command while she moved the fabric in mysterious ways and -poof- I was all dressed up! A few safety pins were added to keep everything in place.

The sari was actually much more comfortable and easy to wear than I had anticipated. It also made me feel quite elegant, as if I were a princess visiting a foreign country. That feeling was probably helped by the fact that everyone around was treating me like a princess! Saris are also pretty easy to put on, once you’ve had someone walk you through the process the first couple of times – at some point I’d like to put up step-by-step instructions (with photos) on how to wrap a sari. I only know how to do it the traditional Bengali way, but that’s one of the more popular versions. Do try to find someone to teach you in person, though – it’s much easier, and much more fun that way.

While I was getting all fancied up, Aditya went casual with his regular office attire of a shirt & jeans.

Many women in India, even in the cities, wear traditional dress, most men (again, in the cities) wear western clothes daily. Aditya occasionally wears traditional Indian clothes to the office, but many men only wear traditional clothes for important events or ceremonies.

After a breakfast of something curried (potatoes and something lentil-ish, maybe?) with some roti, we headed to the community center where the wedding would be held. The two pictures above were taken there, as we chatted with various cousins and friends of the family who were there for the wedding while workers ran around putting up furniture and decorations for the evening. Aditya got in a bit of trouble with Maa for bringing me there, though: she wanted to keep me a bit secluded from others until the big event – create a sense of anticipation and mystique before the arrival of the bride for the ceremony, you know?

Anyways, I was perfectly willing to trade a little diminished anticipation for the priceless gift one cousin, Bappa-da, gave me.

In between his work on a legal briefing – he’s a lawyer on the Indian Supreme Court – he wrote out a complete family tree for Aditya’s mother’s side, including all the various aunts, uncles, cousins, and children I’d be running into during the next couple of days. He even labeled it with both the “good” names (aka the actual names) and the various nicknames of everyone, so that I’d know how to refer to people. Trust me, when you’re dealing with a large extended family, this sort of thing is worth more than a sack of gold doubloons.

After a little while, my mom, who was staying with friends of the family in the same compound, showed up in a very lovely (and BRIGHT!) salwar kameez she’d purchased in Delhi:

After maybe an hour of talking and watching the hall slowly transform into a wonderland, Maa arrived, scolded Aditya for showing me off too soon to the crowds, and then took us off to the same place my mom was staying at for some tea and resting time before lunch. I was perfectly happy with this plan. Between lingering jetlag and all the new experiences I was exhausted!

I’m afraid that I’ve given the impression so far that everything was super easy for me – it wasn’t. India was a completely eye-opening, changing experience for me, and just a morning of meeting new experiences, new people, new customs, new food (I love curries, but I’m not used to eating it for breakfast), new clothes, and even new plumbing was enough to tire me out. And the wedding hadn’t even started yet!

Luckily Maa (and my mom) completely understood, so we had a bit of a timeout while I hung out with my mom and uncle, heard about their adventures so far in India, and drank a bit of tea before lunch.

Part Three, where lunch is eaten and a certain Gori gets all prepared, can be found here.