Tag Archive | "Indian culture"

Indian Wedding Story, Part Six

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

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This is Part Six of a continuing series on my Indian wedding adventure. If you’re new to Gori Girl, try checking out Part One, where the story starts. After we started the fire (think Agni Pradipan, not Billy Joel), I fed Aditya some pre-made Laddu, which is a common Indian sweet used in pujas and other ceremonies. After this Aditya stood up and promised to provide for me for the rest of my life, so, really, I didn't begrudge him the sweet. (Also: it was way too hot to do much but sweat beside that fire. Doesn't look like it? Read on.)

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Broken Traditions? Intercultural Marriage and Cultural Continuity

Thursday, July 16, 2009

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A new commenter, Lurker frequent, brought up this interesting topic in regards to intercultural marriages in the comments section of my last post: As an Indian in the USA; the only reason I would not want to marry a local is to not "lose" my own traditions and culture. Minds meeting , and matching interests and hearts are more important, but certainly , coming from an old and rich tradition, one would want to preserve it by having a completely Indian family, no? Thoughts? It seems to me that there are several issues in play here, some of which Aditya and I discussed in the comments section when Lf first wrote out his comment (do check it out). What is meant by cultural continuity? Is it something we should value, and if so, why? Does intercultural marriage (which often leads to Third Culture Kids) automatically mean that the cultures of the parents is ending? What does it mean to say that India has an "old and rich tradition" (compared, presumably, against America or other Western cultures' younger and poorer traditions)? Is it something we should value? What exactly do we mean by tradition, anyways? What sort of culture - or cultures - do we want to have in our own lives? For those of us in intercultural relationships, what (if anything) are we losing by not creating a monocultural family? Will our lives be richer for it? Poorer? What about extended families? Well, that's a lot of questions! Enough for a book or three, certainly, so I'll just give a simplified sketch of my own views on this matter, than open it up to the rest of you.

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Intercultural Interviews: Indian Parents’ Perspective (Part Two)

Monday, July 13, 2009

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This is the second part of the interview I held with my husband Aditya's parents (you can find Part One here). This part starts off with an interlude on Maa and Baba's first meeting for their "semi-arranged" marriage, then continues on the topic of their first impressions of me. I finally got them to discuss some negatives: what they find difficult in having a non-Indian daughter-in-law and my (apparently) one fault. We also discussed some of the things they dislike about general American culture (as it relates to interpersonal relationships), and ended with some advice Maa and Baba have for intercultural couples, both generally and for those having some difficulty with Indian in-laws.

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Intercultural Interviews: Indian Parents’ Perspective (Part One)

Friday, July 10, 2009

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I sat down with Aditya's parents, Maa and Baba, a few nights ago with a list of eight questions to find out their views on American culture and intercultural relationships... and we ended up talking for over an hour, thus necessitating a Part One and a Part Two. Today's portion focuses on the early days: their worries on sending their youngest son, Aditya, to a foreign country, thoughts on American culture, dating, and their first interactions with me.

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A Day in Our Lives – With Indian Inlaws

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

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In a short few days the only hope I'll have in the blearly mornings is that it might just be Bagel Monday in the office. When I crawl out of my sleep coma, you see, sophisticated details like which day of the week it is are completely beyond me - any day could be Bagel Monday. My primitave mind is only concerned with two things: getting our dogs, Kajol & Panda to shut up and stop wrestling on my larynx and/or bladder, and what sustenance awaits me that might be a good enough incentive to get out of bed. This past month, though, Bagel Monday has diminished in significance, and glorious 20 Ounces of Ginger Tea Everyday (With Biscuits!) has replaced it as my main morning motivator. I love it when my in-laws are staying with us. Note that I didn't say visiting us - that would imply that Aditya's parents are house guests while they're here, while, as Baba says, it's their home too. Granted, our daily life changes some when Maa and Baba are here in Washington DC, the morning tea being just one example, but the changes are more minor than many people who hear my in-laws are in-town would expect. Since we're coming to the close of Maa & Baba's second extended stay out here (they were here last year in the late summer, and will be visiting once more this year), I thought that it'd be good time to write about the "typical day" in our household while Aditya's parents are here.

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Wearing Sindoor as a White Woman

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

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Aditya loves, loves, loves it when I wear sindoor. For him it is the epitome of beauty. (There's also probably an element of husbandly pride and maybe something oedipal going on, but, hey, you can't win them all.) When I reach over to open to the medicine cabinet while brushing my teeth in the mornings, his face lights up in the hope that I'm grabbing out my container of vermilion powder: "Are you going to wear sindoor today?" You should! - you look so beautiful when you wear it!" And, almost always, I mumble something that amounts to "no, not today."

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Indian Wedding Story, Part Five

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

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This is Part Five of a continuing series on my Indian wedding adventure. If you’re new to Gori Girl, try checking out Part One, where the story starts. When I left off on the story of my Arya Samaj wedding to Aditya (see part four here), we had just exchanged garlands at the start of our wedding ceremony. Heavy, massive garlands that took my original concept of flower necklaces - Hawaiin leis - and kicked it up a notch or ten.

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Arranged Marriages and Intercultural Relationships

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

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Aditya, my husband, shares a few thoughts about - in his words - "Indian men being 'forced' into arranged marriages" in his inaugural guest post. Having grown up in a relatively conservative family in India, I can understand the friction that can occur often between "the younger generation" and "traditional family"... and I especially sympathize with nice people like some of the readers here - or their partners - who suffer from the drudgery that often characterizes communications between these two groups. However, for the most part I think the blame for the difficult relations between Indian parents and their adult children lies squarely on the "younger generation" -of which I am a part. I think that most issues root from a tendency amongst Indian men and women (but I'm speaking to the guys mainly, since I am one) to refuse to engage their parents in a responsible and adult manner. I've been reading over Gori's shoulder as she delves back into the intercultural blogosphere, and some of the posts out there - such as The ties that bind by Elizabeth or the responding comment by Jessica, author of the blog Coffee and Tea, and, frankly, I cannot fathom how Elizabeth or Jessica's partners can, with a clear conscience, claim that an arranged marriage situation is somehow out of their control.

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Gori Girl: Now Blogging from the Desi Suburbs

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

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For the sixth year running, Aditya and I have moved our junk to a new home. Yes, you read that right: we've moved (together or both individually) every year for the past six years. It's not that I like moving; it's just a combination of being a student, having an urge to see the world, and a peculiar, magical moving amnesia that makes me forget every year how traumatic moving really is. I'll spare you the gory details, but beyond the typical panicked late night packing, this move has included our utilities being shut off at the new house, at least three separate lockouts, sleeping on hardwood floors, and a hail storm. In an attempt to stay sane (and nourished) through this process, Aditya, an Indian friend, and I went to the mall near the new place this weekend for food and a bit of light goofing off between hauling boxes. And guess what? We've accidentally moved to the Desi suburbs. About every fourth group we saw wandering the mall was sub-Continental, and I'd guess that at least a third of the mall population was Asian. It's like we're back in California! Tomorrow I'll get a post up about the first few times I met Aditya's parents, and I'll be blogging regularly now that the worst of the moving trauma is over.

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