Tag Archive | "in-laws"

Intercultural Interviews: Indian Parents’ Perspective (Part One)

Friday, July 10, 2009

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I sat down with Aditya's parents, Maa and Baba, a few nights ago with a list of eight questions to find out their views on American culture and intercultural relationships... and we ended up talking for over an hour, thus necessitating a Part One and a Part Two. Today's portion focuses on the early days: their worries on sending their youngest son, Aditya, to a foreign country, thoughts on American culture, dating, and their first interactions with me.

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A Day in Our Lives – With Indian Inlaws

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

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In a short few days the only hope I'll have in the blearly mornings is that it might just be Bagel Monday in the office. When I crawl out of my sleep coma, you see, sophisticated details like which day of the week it is are completely beyond me - any day could be Bagel Monday. My primitave mind is only concerned with two things: getting our dogs, Kajol & Panda to shut up and stop wrestling on my larynx and/or bladder, and what sustenance awaits me that might be a good enough incentive to get out of bed. This past month, though, Bagel Monday has diminished in significance, and glorious 20 Ounces of Ginger Tea Everyday (With Biscuits!) has replaced it as my main morning motivator. I love it when my in-laws are staying with us. Note that I didn't say visiting us - that would imply that Aditya's parents are house guests while they're here, while, as Baba says, it's their home too. Granted, our daily life changes some when Maa and Baba are here in Washington DC, the morning tea being just one example, but the changes are more minor than many people who hear my in-laws are in-town would expect. Since we're coming to the close of Maa & Baba's second extended stay out here (they were here last year in the late summer, and will be visiting once more this year), I thought that it'd be good time to write about the "typical day" in our household while Aditya's parents are here.

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Meeting the Desi Parents

Monday, April 14, 2008

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Few things fill me with as much dread as meeting my partner's parents. First off, I'm socially awkward by nature - at least when meeting new people. I never know how to make small talk, or when good eye contact crosses the line into weird staring, or if my posture and facial expressions are saying "possibly mentally deranged" rather than "cool and confident ". Then there’s the fact that I’m meeting the parents. While I’m not exactly a “people pleaser”, I do think it’s important to have a good rapport with the parents of your significant other, at least if he or she is close to them (and Aditya is). If the relationship continues then they're going to be a part of your life forever, and well, family matters, you know? And first impressions matter too. Finally, with Aditya’s parents I had the whole “different culture” thing to worry about too. All of the social rules and interpersonal cues – which I only have a passing knowledge of, anyways – go swishing out the window when you’re faced with a new culture. Not only could I completely mess up, I could completely mess up and not even know what I did wrong. Despite this, my initial meetings with Aditya’s parents – first Maa, then Baba – ended up going quite well. While this may be more due to their innate awesomeness than any actions of mine, I hope my story can help out some of you who are struggling with the same sort of worries I had had. Next post I’ll be focusing on some of the more “theoretical” aspects of meeting the parents, which will greatly extend some of the points I bring up here, so be sure to tune in for that too.

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Gori Girl: Now Blogging from the Desi Suburbs

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

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For the sixth year running, Aditya and I have moved our junk to a new home. Yes, you read that right: we've moved (together or both individually) every year for the past six years. It's not that I like moving; it's just a combination of being a student, having an urge to see the world, and a peculiar, magical moving amnesia that makes me forget every year how traumatic moving really is. I'll spare you the gory details, but beyond the typical panicked late night packing, this move has included our utilities being shut off at the new house, at least three separate lockouts, sleeping on hardwood floors, and a hail storm. In an attempt to stay sane (and nourished) through this process, Aditya, an Indian friend, and I went to the mall near the new place this weekend for food and a bit of light goofing off between hauling boxes. And guess what? We've accidentally moved to the Desi suburbs. About every fourth group we saw wandering the mall was sub-Continental, and I'd guess that at least a third of the mall population was Asian. It's like we're back in California! Tomorrow I'll get a post up about the first few times I met Aditya's parents, and I'll be blogging regularly now that the worst of the moving trauma is over.

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My Dainty Swastikas

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

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Someone gave me a pair of swastikas as a wedding gift. They were quite beautiful: delicate, pure gold swastika earrings, with subtle etchings along the front and edges. I wish I had taken a picture of them – and of my husband’s face when he opened the gift. I still don’t know who the giver was, but I suspect it was an older Auntie with superb taste and very few NRI relatives.

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