Tag Archive | "guests"

Intercultural Hospitality in Our Mixed Home

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

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A commenter at this site, Lurker Frequent (aka LF), has once again asked a really interesting set of related questions in the comments section of a recent post that I'd like to address as a proper post, since I have plenty to say on the topic. Here's his questions: I am very curious to know about relationship dynamics in your Indian American Household, with regards to the cultural differences in customs in India and America. More specifically, in India, people invite each other over and unexpectedly drop in and hang out and do things together. In the US it's more planned, and “khatirdari” is less common in this DIY land. How does it work in your family? How do you handle all the social obligations of an Indian wife? ... the Indian bahu is “supposed” to do a bunch of stuff like cook, clean, wash, entertain the guests, manage social life etc. etc etc. It's all voluntary though, no pressures in modern day families. How's your “Bahurani” experience been like? Do you guys do all of that? I think I'll shelve the "chores" section of the question for a later date to focus on the hospitality portion of LF's question. So what follows here are my thoughts on hospitality generally in intercultural households, the interculturalness (or lack thereof) of our household hosting , and some general tips that might be of use to others.

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To Hug or Not to Hug: More on Meeting the Parents

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

26 Comments

Aditya's parents are visiting us again for the second time - they arrived late last week - which has cut into my blogging time as we catch up with them. Of course, it also means plenty of blogging material is being generated with our temporary extended family living situation. The last time they visited I only got out one substantive post on the topic - I hope to do a bit better this time. Of course, that post - which was on the (eek!) order that Aditya's parents tried to bring to our home, disrupting my chaotic-but-somehow-functional mess of a system - still haunts us. Today Baba and Maa dusted and vacuumed the house while we at work - and then jokingly pointed out after I arrived home that my piles of mess were exactly where I left them, just cleaner. (Little do they know that if I am stymied in blogging about their dastardly actions of cleaning our house & cooking delicious meals I have no problem in getting irrationally upset about some other minor issue. For example: the fridge has been reorganized without my express permission, and the dishwasher was inefficiently loaded, resulting in one less cup being washed than if I had loaded it. I'm still reeling!) Since I haven't had a chance to sit down and think through a post lately, I thought I'd share with you the transcript I've typed up in spare minutes from an NPR segment called Intercultural Relationships: Can They Work?. I'm not a professional transcriber, so there may be errors - but I figured something was better than nothing for those of you who can't (or don't like to) listen to podcasts. The segment (and my post title) was developed from an article in East West Magazine. The article, which you can find here, is quite complimentary to the NPR segment, and I encourage you to read it as well as the transcript below. I've bolded the parts I find particularly interesting, and will post my thoughts on it tomorrow in the comments section.

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