Tag Archive | "food"

Intercultural Hospitality in Our Mixed Home

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

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A commenter at this site, Lurker Frequent (aka LF), has once again asked a really interesting set of related questions in the comments section of a recent post that I'd like to address as a proper post, since I have plenty to say on the topic. Here's his questions: I am very curious to know about relationship dynamics in your Indian American Household, with regards to the cultural differences in customs in India and America. More specifically, in India, people invite each other over and unexpectedly drop in and hang out and do things together. In the US it's more planned, and “khatirdari” is less common in this DIY land. How does it work in your family? How do you handle all the social obligations of an Indian wife? ... the Indian bahu is “supposed” to do a bunch of stuff like cook, clean, wash, entertain the guests, manage social life etc. etc etc. It's all voluntary though, no pressures in modern day families. How's your “Bahurani” experience been like? Do you guys do all of that? I think I'll shelve the "chores" section of the question for a later date to focus on the hospitality portion of LF's question. So what follows here are my thoughts on hospitality generally in intercultural households, the interculturalness (or lack thereof) of our household hosting , and some general tips that might be of use to others.

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Friday Connections 27-11-09

Friday, November 27, 2009

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Friday Connections: a time when I give links and a bit of commentary to things I'd blog about if I had the time. This week the categories are mixed families, cross-cultural food, and gender inequality issues in India (with a really sweet video).

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An Office Diwali Celebration

Monday, October 19, 2009

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Ah, Diwali. Fesitval of lights. A celebration of good triumphing over evil. A time to bemuse your boss and win free dessert from your local Indian buffet. Right? As I've mentioned previously, I happen to work in a very diverse office - and with a recent switch in teams, I now report to a South Indian manager. He's a great boss, but, occasionally, well, I can't help myself - I'll mention a Hindu tradition or a Bollywood film just to see his reaction. You see, despite the fact that he knows I'm married to an Indian, he's always so surprised when I show any knowledge of Indian culture. Shocked, almost. So, of course, to celebrate Diwali this year I decided to wear a sari to work.

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A Day in Our Lives – With Indian Inlaws

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

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In a short few days the only hope I'll have in the blearly mornings is that it might just be Bagel Monday in the office. When I crawl out of my sleep coma, you see, sophisticated details like which day of the week it is are completely beyond me - any day could be Bagel Monday. My primitave mind is only concerned with two things: getting our dogs, Kajol & Panda to shut up and stop wrestling on my larynx and/or bladder, and what sustenance awaits me that might be a good enough incentive to get out of bed. This past month, though, Bagel Monday has diminished in significance, and glorious 20 Ounces of Ginger Tea Everyday (With Biscuits!) has replaced it as my main morning motivator. I love it when my in-laws are staying with us. Note that I didn't say visiting us - that would imply that Aditya's parents are house guests while they're here, while, as Baba says, it's their home too. Granted, our daily life changes some when Maa and Baba are here in Washington DC, the morning tea being just one example, but the changes are more minor than many people who hear my in-laws are in-town would expect. Since we're coming to the close of Maa & Baba's second extended stay out here (they were here last year in the late summer, and will be visiting once more this year), I thought that it'd be good time to write about the "typical day" in our household while Aditya's parents are here.

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Indianfied Chicken Pot Pie

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

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You may have noticed that, unlike many intercultural blogs, I don't post any recipes of new Indian dishes I've learned to cook. Partially that's because, well, I don't cook much Indian food, really. And partially because I figure that all of you are intelligent to google your way to the thousands (or, at least, dozens) of cooking blogs that feature great recipes of traditional Indian dishes. There's a few blogs I particularly like listed in the sidebar under Odds & Ends, if you haven't seen this blogging niche before. However, at least in the food blogs I follow, I've seen an untapped segment in the market - there aren't any recipes of Indianfied traditional American dishes! This sort of fusion food, along with stir frys, is the majority of what I cook - just simple dishes that you ate growing up mixed with an Indian sense of spices. They're the best of both worlds: quick, easy recipes that I know like the back of my hand adjusted so that Aditya won't complain about "blandness" when we eat. So, today I'll share with you my recipe for Quick Indianfied Chicken Pot Pie. This is the dish that got amazed raves from Aditya's parents when I served it to them. (I think that prior to my cooking it, they hadn't realized I knew how to cook at all, so perhaps they were just glad I hadn't accidentally poisoned them.) It's a very simple, quick, filling dish, so even if you're not much of a cook, you should be able to manage just fine. Besides the text below, I've loaded a bunch of images on my flickr site to show you how to do it step-by-step too.

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Intercultural Marriage Fluff

Thursday, February 19, 2009

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I normally avoid memes, but, hey, dooce did this one. And who doesn't love a bit of relationship fluff, especially mid-week when the weekend still seems so far off? I'd love to hear all of yours as well - I'm not "tagging" anyone, but after you finish reading, do write up your own answering all or some of the questions. If you have your own blog, link back here for a trackback or comment with a link so I (and everyone else) can find 'em. And if you don't have your own blog feel free to add yours in the comments.

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The In-Laws Have Landed!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

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Among the suitcases (!) full of gifts, they brought me two large packages of Coffy Bite. This is our bedside table, as of three minutes ago. ... I daren't show you the carnage in the trash bin by the computer desk. (Don't worry - I will be posting LOTS more later - and regularly. However, I spent 13 hours at the office today, putting out metaphorical fires, and my brain is a little numb.)

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Why is the Goat Wearing a Sweater? Six Unspectacular Quirks Meme

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

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I was recently tagged by Blue of the blog bluelightful, bluelicious, bluelovely to complete a meme on "six unspectacular quirks." I was a bit hesitant to do the meme, at first, 'cause I figured I'd already done the whole "personal life" update post, and, really, there's only so many times a week I can talk just about myself before I start making Aditya's life miserable with a swelled head. "Where's my tea & biscuits? I need caffeine to post. This is important, Aditya. I've been tagged!" Then I thought about it a bit more, and realized that if I couldn't come up with six intercultural-type quirks about myself, then all those people who've talked about having me committed to an insane asylum for being crazy (I prefer "quirky," thank you) would be proven wrong. And I'd hate to make so many friends, relatives, and coworkers look bad, so I guess it's time to roll up my sleeves and show just how quirky in a interculturally-relevant-but-not-culturally-insensitive way I can be. Of course, the qualifier of "unspectacular" means you all will be be missing the good stuff...

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Meeting the Desi Parents

Monday, April 14, 2008

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Few things fill me with as much dread as meeting my partner's parents. First off, I'm socially awkward by nature - at least when meeting new people. I never know how to make small talk, or when good eye contact crosses the line into weird staring, or if my posture and facial expressions are saying "possibly mentally deranged" rather than "cool and confident ". Then there’s the fact that I’m meeting the parents. While I’m not exactly a “people pleaser”, I do think it’s important to have a good rapport with the parents of your significant other, at least if he or she is close to them (and Aditya is). If the relationship continues then they're going to be a part of your life forever, and well, family matters, you know? And first impressions matter too. Finally, with Aditya’s parents I had the whole “different culture” thing to worry about too. All of the social rules and interpersonal cues – which I only have a passing knowledge of, anyways – go swishing out the window when you’re faced with a new culture. Not only could I completely mess up, I could completely mess up and not even know what I did wrong. Despite this, my initial meetings with Aditya’s parents – first Maa, then Baba – ended up going quite well. While this may be more due to their innate awesomeness than any actions of mine, I hope my story can help out some of you who are struggling with the same sort of worries I had had. Next post I’ll be focusing on some of the more “theoretical” aspects of meeting the parents, which will greatly extend some of the points I bring up here, so be sure to tune in for that too.

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Homecooked Indian Doesn’t Happen Much Here

Sunday, March 30, 2008

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A reader, Veronica, sent in the following question a couple of days ago: My boyfriend is from Gondia and I wanted to learn to cook some food from that area of India. What kind of Indian food do you cook for your husband? Heh, well, I guess it's confession time here on Gori Girl: I can't remember the last time I cooked real Indian food. Maggi? Sure. Ginger tea? It's been known to happen. TastyBite or other yummy precooked packaged Indian meals? We've got a pantry full of 'em. And we've got a kabob takeout place on speed dial. But I don't ever cook a full meal of real Indian food. I mean, I have in the past, but it's not a regular thing at all. There's a simple enough explanation for this - I've just never learned how to cook Indian food. When I grew up in California I had a lot of Chinese and Taiwanese friends and neighbors, so I can make a fair number of Chinese dishes. I've managed to pick up a few things from my Mexican, Japanese, and Korean relatives (yup, it's a rainbow of colors at family reunions). But until I met Aditya I wasn't close friends with anyone who could cook Indian food. Of course, given his limited repertoire in the kitchen, I still didn't know anyone who could cook (much) Indian food after I met him either. Nowadays, I mostly limit myself to adding Indian spices to change the taste of some of the dishes I already cook. Turmeric powder gets tossed into the stirfry, or garam masala is added to the sausage stew after it's done. Actually, it's a bit of a hazard for our friends who dine at our house without knowing this habit of mine - they'll bite into the chicken pot pie, only to discover there's a bunch of chicken curry masala in the sauce. While this response might be a superficial answer to Veronica's question (no Indian food is cooked for poor Aditya), it isn't a particularly helpful answer for people looking to make some familiar food for their partners. This question actually comes at a particularly good time, as I've been thinking about trying my hand at real Indian cooking. So - how can you learn to cook Indian (or other, new-to-you) food? Let's go through the difference resources available:

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India’s Delicious Products – Or, Why Can’t We Get That Here?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

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Possibly the best thing about being in an intercultural relationship, at least for the curious mind, is the in-depth, nitty-gritty exposure you get to a different group's culture. Be prepared for the flood of new customs, food, clothes, vocabulary, entertainment and so forth that'll be coming your way. The only thing I can compare it to is living in a foreign country with a roommate or family from that country - of course, then you're still in an intercultural relationship, just not a romantic one. While a number of problems can arise from having two or more cultures operating in the same house, today's focus is on the unadulterated good things that come from sharing a culture. The things that will remain perfect in my mind forever. Even if Aditya were to run off the squirrel that hangs out near the bedroom window (they were eying each other this morning) and break my heart, or declare a hatred for IKEA (and break my heart), I will appreciate our time together because of these three things:

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Indian Survial Guide: How to Eat Indian Food (Part I)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

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During their travels in India, my uncle and mom really enjoyed eating with their hands, as you can see from the photo above. This is the traditional way of eating in India… but not all Indians are perfectly traditional. If you look closely at my husband, Aditya, pictured on the right, you’ll notice he has a fork on his plate, since he doesn't care to eat rice with his hands. I, too, have a fork - you can just see it spearing some delicious chicken in the far right of the photo. I'm using a fork because when I try to eat rice with my hands, I end up with some on my lap, down my blouse, and somehow in my hair - it’s just not pretty. The photo of my family chowing down demonstrates the two main things you need to know about eating Indian food: it’s traditionally done with your hands (mostly the right hand actually – more on that in a bit) AND it’s okay to not be traditional. If you’re uncomfortable eating with your hands, then don’t. No one will look down on you, or think less of you if you ask for silverware. However, for those of you interested adventuring outside of Western-style table manners, I have a few hard-learned tips and tricks to help you chow down politely.

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