Hi, I’m a Sikh girl and have been going out with my white bf for 3 yrs. I’ve always known my parents would disapprove…they’ve always said if I brought anyone but a Sikh guy home they would want nothing to do with me and the whole family would be disappointed. My fear and guilt have meant that more and more, recently, I haven’t been happy in my relationship until a few weeks ago when I decided to end it. but now I’m regretting it and don’t know what to do!!! He was a wonderful guy who loved me and accepted me completely, but because of the guilt and loyalty I feel towards my family I feel I have lost the only man I will ever be happy with.

Reading all the comments on the post, Indian Parental Problems: When Your Intercultural or Interracial Relationship is Suddenly an Issue, I realize I’m not alone and that there are others who go through this, but sometimes it feels so lonely. I was just wondering how people come up with the courage to tell their parents in the first place and how do you handle the guilt?!?

She later added in an email conversation with me:

Here’s a little bit more about my situation…my sister(she’s 20) knows about my bf but refuses to acknowledge him or our relationship, I think out of fear of what it would do to our family! There are already a few intercultural relationships and marriages in our family and although my parents accept them they have made it clear that I can not have one…which is difficult to understand. I do understand that due to the major cultural differences intercultural relationships can be difficult and from that point of view I can see why parents would want to spare their kids those problems.

I’ll be posting my own thoughts and comments tomorrow, but a good conversation has already started between Aisha and Auroracoda, another commenter here, which I’m reposting below in the comments.