Tag Archive | "Aditya"

Indian Wedding Story, Part Six

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

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This is Part Six of a continuing series on my Indian wedding adventure. If you’re new to Gori Girl, try checking out Part One, where the story starts. After we started the fire (think Agni Pradipan, not Billy Joel), I fed Aditya some pre-made Laddu, which is a common Indian sweet used in pujas and other ceremonies. After this Aditya stood up and promised to provide for me for the rest of my life, so, really, I didn't begrudge him the sweet. (Also: it was way too hot to do much but sweat beside that fire. Doesn't look like it? Read on.)

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Broken Traditions? Intercultural Marriage and Cultural Continuity

Thursday, July 16, 2009

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A new commenter, Lurker frequent, brought up this interesting topic in regards to intercultural marriages in the comments section of my last post: As an Indian in the USA; the only reason I would not want to marry a local is to not "lose" my own traditions and culture. Minds meeting , and matching interests and hearts are more important, but certainly , coming from an old and rich tradition, one would want to preserve it by having a completely Indian family, no? Thoughts? It seems to me that there are several issues in play here, some of which Aditya and I discussed in the comments section when Lf first wrote out his comment (do check it out). What is meant by cultural continuity? Is it something we should value, and if so, why? Does intercultural marriage (which often leads to Third Culture Kids) automatically mean that the cultures of the parents is ending? What does it mean to say that India has an "old and rich tradition" (compared, presumably, against America or other Western cultures' younger and poorer traditions)? Is it something we should value? What exactly do we mean by tradition, anyways? What sort of culture - or cultures - do we want to have in our own lives? For those of us in intercultural relationships, what (if anything) are we losing by not creating a monocultural family? Will our lives be richer for it? Poorer? What about extended families? Well, that's a lot of questions! Enough for a book or three, certainly, so I'll just give a simplified sketch of my own views on this matter, than open it up to the rest of you.

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Intercultural Interviews: Indian Parents’ Perspective (Part Two)

Monday, July 13, 2009

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This is the second part of the interview I held with my husband Aditya's parents (you can find Part One here). This part starts off with an interlude on Maa and Baba's first meeting for their "semi-arranged" marriage, then continues on the topic of their first impressions of me. I finally got them to discuss some negatives: what they find difficult in having a non-Indian daughter-in-law and my (apparently) one fault. We also discussed some of the things they dislike about general American culture (as it relates to interpersonal relationships), and ended with some advice Maa and Baba have for intercultural couples, both generally and for those having some difficulty with Indian in-laws.

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Intercultural Interviews: Indian Parents’ Perspective (Part One)

Friday, July 10, 2009

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I sat down with Aditya's parents, Maa and Baba, a few nights ago with a list of eight questions to find out their views on American culture and intercultural relationships... and we ended up talking for over an hour, thus necessitating a Part One and a Part Two. Today's portion focuses on the early days: their worries on sending their youngest son, Aditya, to a foreign country, thoughts on American culture, dating, and their first interactions with me.

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A Day in Our Lives – With Indian Inlaws

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

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In a short few days the only hope I'll have in the blearly mornings is that it might just be Bagel Monday in the office. When I crawl out of my sleep coma, you see, sophisticated details like which day of the week it is are completely beyond me - any day could be Bagel Monday. My primitave mind is only concerned with two things: getting our dogs, Kajol & Panda to shut up and stop wrestling on my larynx and/or bladder, and what sustenance awaits me that might be a good enough incentive to get out of bed. This past month, though, Bagel Monday has diminished in significance, and glorious 20 Ounces of Ginger Tea Everyday (With Biscuits!) has replaced it as my main morning motivator. I love it when my in-laws are staying with us. Note that I didn't say visiting us - that would imply that Aditya's parents are house guests while they're here, while, as Baba says, it's their home too. Granted, our daily life changes some when Maa and Baba are here in Washington DC, the morning tea being just one example, but the changes are more minor than many people who hear my in-laws are in-town would expect. Since we're coming to the close of Maa & Baba's second extended stay out here (they were here last year in the late summer, and will be visiting once more this year), I thought that it'd be good time to write about the "typical day" in our household while Aditya's parents are here.

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From Atheist to Hindu? Religion and My Intercultural Marriage

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

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Me? Oh, well, I don't have a faith. And, no, I'm not interested in getting one either. That was my polite non-answer when asked about my religious beliefs by two Christians who stopped by Aditya's and my doorstop to proselytize last weekend. And it was as true, as far as it goes - I'm not one much for simple faith in any context. When discussing my religious beliefs with friends & family, I'm most likely to to describe myself simply as an atheist. But when I'm feeling a little mischievous - or argumentative - I'll sometimes put in that I'm an atheist - and a Hindu. Yeah, it's a bit of a complicated situation; I blame Aditya for it completely. Like many other things in my life, religion is something that has become more complicated since we set off on our intercultural marriage adventure.

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Don’t Get Your Undies in a Bunch: Worrying About Intercultural Quirks

Friday, June 5, 2009

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Okay, I'm a huge supporter of researching your significant other's culture and understanding cultural differences, but let's just put this one out there: worrying about intercultural quirks can be taken too far. There's reasonable concern, and then there's fretting over - or being shocked by - cultural differences that, in the end, don't really matter. Basically, Internet, I'm saying you shouldn't get your tighty-whities in a wad over the smaller cultural differences or customs you discover in your intercultural relationships. (And no, it's not all small stuff - but there's more small stuff than the amount of complaining would suggest.)

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Wearing Sindoor as a White Woman

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

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Aditya loves, loves, loves it when I wear sindoor. For him it is the epitome of beauty. (There's also probably an element of husbandly pride and maybe something oedipal going on, but, hey, you can't win them all.) When I reach over to open to the medicine cabinet while brushing my teeth in the mornings, his face lights up in the hope that I'm grabbing out my container of vermilion powder: "Are you going to wear sindoor today?" You should! - you look so beautiful when you wear it!" And, almost always, I mumble something that amounts to "no, not today."

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Indian Wedding Story, Part Five

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

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This is Part Five of a continuing series on my Indian wedding adventure. If you’re new to Gori Girl, try checking out Part One, where the story starts. When I left off on the story of my Arya Samaj wedding to Aditya (see part four here), we had just exchanged garlands at the start of our wedding ceremony. Heavy, massive garlands that took my original concept of flower necklaces - Hawaiin leis - and kicked it up a notch or ten.

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ESL Tutoring – or How We Met

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

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I've never heard the story behind this photograph, although I know it was taken Aditya's first year of college, and I'm willing to guess that the crossdressing costume was somehow part of the International Student Association's annual Bazaar. Oh, how his past comes back to haunt him*** Aditya's a year older than me, so depending on when this picture was taken I was either finishing up my last semester of high school (I graduated a semester early) or already working in Germany as an Au-Pair. Before leaving for Germany I went through the college application rigmarole, and ended up choosing the same small midwestern liberal arts college that Aditya was crossdressing studying at. Yes, you guessed it - we met in college. Well, sort of.

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Arranged Marriages and Intercultural Relationships

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

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Aditya, my husband, shares a few thoughts about - in his words - "Indian men being 'forced' into arranged marriages" in his inaugural guest post. Having grown up in a relatively conservative family in India, I can understand the friction that can occur often between "the younger generation" and "traditional family"... and I especially sympathize with nice people like some of the readers here - or their partners - who suffer from the drudgery that often characterizes communications between these two groups. However, for the most part I think the blame for the difficult relations between Indian parents and their adult children lies squarely on the "younger generation" -of which I am a part. I think that most issues root from a tendency amongst Indian men and women (but I'm speaking to the guys mainly, since I am one) to refuse to engage their parents in a responsible and adult manner. I've been reading over Gori's shoulder as she delves back into the intercultural blogosphere, and some of the posts out there - such as The ties that bind by Elizabeth or the responding comment by Jessica, author of the blog Coffee and Tea, and, frankly, I cannot fathom how Elizabeth or Jessica's partners can, with a clear conscience, claim that an arranged marriage situation is somehow out of their control.

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Change Happens: Updates From Our Cross-Cultural Household

Monday, June 2, 2008

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Gori Girl (the blog) isn't meant to be just a personal site - while I talk about my life and marriage a fair amount here, the point isn't to just blab to the interweb about my life (not that I don't enjoy blogs that do) , but instead to add something of value to yours. However, there's been a few shakeups in Aditya's and my lives recently - some of which has & will affect this blog - so I thought I'd just write a short update post, as well as write about a couple new features coming up in the sidebars. So consider this a metablog post, if you will.

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