Gori Girl

I’ve never heard the story behind this photograph, although I know it was taken Aditya’s first year of college, and I’m willing to guess that the crossdressing costume was somehow part of the International Student Association’s annual Bazaar. Oh, how his past comes back to haunt him***

Aditya’s a year older than me, so depending on when this picture was taken I was either finishing up my last semester of high school (I graduated a semester early) or already working in Germany as an Au-Pair. Before leaving for Germany I went through the college application rigmarole, and ended up choosing the same small midwestern liberal arts college that Aditya was crossdressing studying at. Yes, you guessed it – we met in college.

Well, sort of.

Aasif Mandvi can’t do a very convincing “Indian” accent (at least to my ears), but his delivery is typically spot on – and this bit had be cracking up. I’ve always loved how the Daily Show dealt with “minority issues”. They aren’t afraid to take on the discussion seriously, and they aren’t afraid to skewer that same discussion when it turns ridiculous as it so often does in our media. They don’t hit the mark every time, but when they do, it’s brilliant, as when Stewart, reporting on Obama’s race speech, said, “”and at 11:00 on a Tuesday, a prominent politician spoke to Americans about race as though they were adults.”

Hat tip to Ennis over at Septia Mutiny, who is wondering if Gupta’s nomination gives Mandvi a bit of job security for a few years.

Aditya, my husband, shares a few thoughts about – in his words – “Indian men being ‘forced’ into arranged marriages” in his inaugural guest post.

Having grown up in a relatively conservative family in India, I can understand the friction that can occur often between “the younger generation” and “traditional family”… and I especially sympathize with nice people like some of the readers here – or their partners – who suffer from the drudgery that often characterizes communications between these two groups.

However, for the most part I think the blame for the difficult relations between Indian parents and their adult children lies squarely on the “younger generation” -of which I am a part. I think that most issues root from a tendency amongst Indian men and women (but I’m speaking to the guys mainly, since I am one) to refuse to engage their parents in a responsible and adult manner.

I’ve been reading over Gori’s shoulder as she delves back into the intercultural blogosphere, and some of the posts out there – such as The ties that bind by Elizabeth or the responding comment by Jessica, author of the blog Coffee and Tea, and, frankly, I cannot fathom how Elizabeth or Jessica’s partners can, with a clear conscience, claim that an arranged marriage situation is somehow out of their control.

If you happen to be sitting around at home tonight, wondering what to do, PBS is presenting (in collaboration with the BBC) what looks to be like an amazing six-part series about the history and culture of India. I haven’t had much time to poke around the website, but I’m told by a lazy Indian friend who spent the day watching clips from the series that it’ll be fantastic. It comes on at 9 pm here on the East Coast, but the website says that there will be repeat showings of all of the parts of the series if you can’t catch it tonight.

It was really early in the morning, you see, when the dogs informed us that they needed to go out. My turn to let them out, unfortunately, but afterwards the three of us agreed the hike back upstairs was too long, so we settled on the couch for a nap until the sun was properly up. Well, Kajol – a total snugglebunny – and I settled on the couch, and Panda slept on the cool floor next to us.

Panda Bear is the latest addition to our family, and, as an Alaskan Malamute, he tends to be a bit too warm to snuggle comfortably for that long indoors. He’s about two and a half years old, and another rescue dog – poor pup spent most of his life tied in a field with grass so high he couldn’t see out of it before Animal Cruelty rescued him. When he came to us he was twenty pounds underweight and didn’t know what a treat was or how to play with another dog. He’s still a bit of a failure with treats – he’s excited to get one, but just drops it afterwards for Kajol to eat. Kajol, however, has taught him to play like a champion at the only game she knows: wrestling. We often look out onto the deck to see Kajol’s head disappearing into Panda’s massive jaw, or him just calmly sitting on Kajol while she struggles to get free.

They’re a well-matched pair, despite being from such different breeds – and I suppose there’s a semi-corny lesson in there for all of us in an intercultural relationship, or, really, any mixed relationship where looks or personalities or abilities differ.

Pale_Desi contributes her story of the first proper Hindu ceremony she saw.

Recently, friends of mine who are a married Indian couple invited me to a Vastu Puja in their new home. Vastu Puja is the ceremony they chose to “bless” their new home. This was my first time at any Hindu ceremony so I didn’t know what I would understand or what I should do. I didn’t even know if I would get bored with everything being Sanskrit or Hindi. I dressed up in my finest (ok…only) Salwar Kameez hoping to blend into the crowd. On my way to their house I drove with Indian friend and another Indian couple. They mentioned that the priest/pundit for the ceremony was American. I wasn’t sure what to think but I definitely was intrigued.

I know we have some ladies (and perhaps gentlemen) here who call the Windy City home. Well, if any of you are interested, I’ve recently been contacted by a Chicago Tribune’s Red Eye reporter, Alexia, about an article she’s preparing to write on “meeting the parents.” Alexia would like to include an intercultural couple in the article, and was wondering if anyone here would be interested in being interviewed:

I’m a reporter with the Chicago Tribune’s RedEye newspaper, a daily aimed at readers in their 20s and 30s. I stumbled across your blog while doing research for a story I’m writing. I’m wondering if you might be able to help with the story, given your blog’s focus on intercultural relationship issues.

Aditya and I have both been pulling long hours at work during the past couple of weeks. Frankly, it’s rare that we both get home before the night sets in. While we both have careers that have require long hours (my company’s motto: “the hours here are flexible; you can come in as early as you want, and leave as late as you want”), recent project disasters have stretched our workdays beyond our version of normal. This is particularly unfortunate as Aditya’s parents, Maa & Baba, are currently visiting us from India.

Of course, they are here for two months, so it’s not as if we won’t end up having plenty of family time together – but I do wish they didn’t have to spend so much time at our house by themselves. I worry about them getting bored; even Kajol, the energizer puppy, can only go for so many walks. I fret about all the interesting monuments and historic sites we aren’t seeing in the evenings for lack of energy and sunlight. And I’m genuinely distraught that, at some point, they might break The System while we’re away at the office.

Among the suitcases (!) full of gifts, they brought me two large packages of Coffy Bite.

This is our bedside table, as of three minutes ago.

… I daren’t show you the carnage in the trash bin by the computer desk.

(Don’t worry – I will be posting LOTS more later – and regularly. However, I spent 13 hours at the office today, putting out metaphorical fires, and my brain is a little numb.)

NeoKalypso, my wonderful guest contributer, tells of her experiences at a friend’s wedding.

After a wonderful summer full of jungle hikes, tasty SE Asia food, and plenty of other adventures with R, I was blessed to top it all off in the most perfect way with my friend CT’s weddingYep, that’s right, our very own CaliforniaTransplant and I are friends in real life. After sharing so many similar perspectives on intercultural relationships we decided we had to meet. Our friendship blossomed and I volunteered to help her in any way I could on the day of her Gujurati Indian wedding ceremony. She took me up on it, sent me about a two page “script” and I was ready to help!

From there…magic unfolded. The gods graced us with their presence…