Photo Credit: Abhinaba
Ah, Diwali. Festival of lights. A celebration of good triumphing over evil. A time to bemuse your boss and win free dessert from your local Indian buffet. …right?
As I’ve mentioned previously, I happen to work in a very diverse office – and with a recent switch in teams, I now report to a South Indian manager. He’s a great boss, but, occasionally, well, I can’t help myself – I’ll mention a Hindu tradition or a Bollywood film just to see his reaction. You see, despite the fact that he knows I’m married to an Indian, he’s always so surprised when I show any knowledge of Indian culture. Shocked, almost.
So, of course, to celebrate Diwali this year I decided to wear a sari to work.
To be more specific, a female Indian coworker and I coerced convinced the junior staff on our team to wear Indian dress to the office on Friday. My coworker had one sari from a family wedding to wear, and I loaned out saris and kurtas to everyone else. Between the two of us, we were able to get everyone wrapped up, pinned up, and decked out in bangles before our boss arrived. The look on his face was, let us say, well worth the trouble.
I'm on the right
Everyone looked pretty great in their saris, no?
For lunch, the group went out to the closest Indian buffet, Jaipur, where we snapped the photograph above. The staff there was also quite surprised seeing their regular customers arrive in saris and kurtas – surprised & appreciative. Despite the fact that it was a buffet lunch, they brought out a surprise dish of Indian desserts just for our group at the end of our meal:
It was clear that the kitchen had taken some time to create the dish, which featured Gajar Ka Halwa, Ras Gulla, and Gulab Jamun with a garnish of shredded coconut and cherries. Like every other Indian dessert I have had, it was delicious, if extraordinarily sweet. After lunch we all shuffled back to the office before falling into the typical post-Jaipur sugar coma.
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For anyone wondering, on Diwali proper (i.e. Saturday), Aditya, myself, and the Indian coworker pictured above woke up crazy early to get to a local Hindu temple in time for the morning aarti. It was very quiet there – I think the rain and near-freezing temperatures kept everyone else away. Afterwards we retreated from the cold to Starbucks for breakfast, and then, in the spirit of combining American holiday consumerism with a Diwali custom, we went shopping for some new clothes. And that was how the Gori Girl household celebrated Diwali this year.
(Sunday we returned to my roots, and celebrated an American football Sunday with Vietnamese seafood hotpot and German boardgames at a friend’s house. All in all, a pretty awesome weekend.)
20. October 2009 at 12:55 am
Beautiful lavender sari!! Seems like it was a perfect day and you must work with some great girls! Wish I was there!
20. October 2009 at 5:35 pm
It was a good day – except for being really cold & drizzly. We got dressed at the office.
20. October 2009 at 4:39 am
Wow, nazar utaaro, u guys look so purdy! Glad you had a great Diwali!
20. October 2009 at 7:23 am
I get that a lot at work as well. As an international student advisor at an engineering school I have a lot of Indian students. Some of the students know that my partner is Nepali, but most don’t, so if I am wearing a kurta top in the summer or if I mention a Bollywood movie or South Asian holiday I always get that surprised look…. how do you know about that! Now, if only my Danish boss would stop putting me on the spot in front of our Nepali students and forcing me to speak my pitiful Nepali, I’d be all set.
I love that you wore a sari to work! Sounds like you had a great Friday!
20. October 2009 at 5:36 pm
That’s why I’m learning Hindi – self-defense when Aditya or his parents put me on the spot in front of extended family & friends.
20. October 2009 at 10:49 am
Happy Diwali!!!!! You all look great you and your friend did great job pulling it all off… The food did look good too. Glad that you had great Saturday even if it was freezing outside Starbucks makes up for it thought right? LOL
20. October 2009 at 1:06 pm
You all look adorable! Sometimes I wish I could get away with wearing a salwar kameez to work (soooo comfy), but I think that would be weird in my office.
20. October 2009 at 2:47 pm
I’m wearing one next week D. I’ve already told the co-workers that I will, so no chickening out now! I think it will be fun! Of course, 90% or more of my office knows I’m getting married to an Indian, in India in a month.
Gori, I love the photo of all of you in sarees. It’s great! Glad you had fun on Friday. I wonder why your boss is so shocked at these things, knowing you are married to Aditya! Now that you are working on your Hindi, you could impress him with that (assuming he possibly knows Hindi being South Indian?)!! That would really get him good!
20. October 2009 at 5:32 pm
Are you wearing a sari just for the fun of it, or is there something special happening next week?
As far as my boss – I suspect it’s just that he’s not used to your average American knowing that much about Indian culture. And even then, there’s a range of “knowing” from, say, watching a Bollywood flick occasionally to knowing how to wrap your own sari, and being comfortable wearing it, you know? I mean, a fair number of Indian women don’t wear saris.
I have no clue on whether he speaks Hindi (probably some), but I think I’ll keep my practicing to my Indian coworkers.
21. October 2009 at 12:15 pm
GG, I don’t have any sarees (will get those in India), but I’m just wearing a salwar kameez (what D had mentioned) that I bought last week. The “special occasion” is that I’m leaving for India in 2 weeks for our wedding and my co-workers/friends want to see my dressed in traditional Indian clothing. I was going to wear it on Friday but it was just so miserable out (rain/cold) as you mentioned-you were much braver! I’ll wear it soon. Good luck with the Hindi!
20. October 2009 at 1:06 pm
Hello,
I have been reading your blog on and off and really like it. I at times vaguely recollect stuff from this blog like your dogs being total freeloaders and not doing the cooking
I hope there are more people like you in this world who accept people for what they are and are not prejudiced based on religion or race! I just ranted on how i would prefer to marry an american on my blog ha ha…but then i guess i really like indian girls. what to do?
but i am definitely going to try and hit on american girls and see how much social tact i have. do give me tips
Cya!
20. October 2009 at 4:22 pm
Nice!! It’s very cool that you have an office environment where you can do something like that. I don’t know how well it would go over at my work…I’m not even wearing my long kurtis or salwar kameezes here yet.
I’ll bet we went to the same temple, although we went on Sunday for Mahavir Bhagwan (and I wore a sari)! Does the name start with “R”?
20. October 2009 at 5:40 pm
It really does depend on the office – we’re pretty loose here for consultants, but that’s ’cause we never see the clients face-to-face. And, you know, engineers & economists. Still, I try to keep everything “ethnic” (besides short kurtas) to Fridays. Can’t wait ’til we move back to California, where nearly everything goes.
And, yeah, it sounds like we went to the same temple.
20. October 2009 at 5:28 pm
GoriGirl great blog!!I am reading this for the last 15 days or so and almost covered 40% of your posts.
The safforn sary girl looks great, how can you guys coerced a cute girl like that:) ..i know you guys are seniors staff but still…
You all look great in saris and what a way to celebrate Deepavali…it reminds me of my working days in India. Where all the girls in my office used to wear saris when ever there is a festival, it used to give me a feeling of festivity at work….i can understand how your Indian boss must have felt.
By the way.. why do you mention your boss as ‘’south Indian Manager’’ instead of ‘’Indian Manager’’..any particular reason? No offence here.. Just like to know you thinking process and perspective.
20. October 2009 at 5:50 pm
Wow! That’s a lot to read in a couple of weeks.
Glad you’re enjoying the blog.
I’m junior staff (well, on the edge between jr & sr) at my office, so I wasn’t “coercing” anyone beneath me on the office totem pole. (Not that we were actually coercing anybody – people were pretty excited to celebrate Diwali).
As far as South Indian vs. Indian – well, when I know someone’s specific ethnicity or home region, I’m just more likely to be more specific in my descriptions of them. So, for instance, I’ll describe Aditya as Bengali rather than Indian more often than not. I think I started doing that as I learned about the sometimes significant cultural differences from one region to another in India. Or perhaps it stems from my time living in Germany: I always described myself there as an Kalifornierin, not an Amerikanerin because it gave the people I met a better idea of who I was.
What about you, akroyal? I’m guessing you brought it up because it bothered you or seemed odd… Do you generally prefer to go with just “Indian”?
20. October 2009 at 6:08 pm
Gorgeous sari! Love the colour.
20. October 2009 at 9:28 pm
Happy Diwali! You guys look great in the Saris!
20. October 2009 at 10:07 pm
Oh, you all look fabulous. Happy belated Diwali. We lit sparklers on the front porch and ate too much channa bhature and khoya burfi.
That office looks like a fun place to work, and I can’t believe you could tie saris on all those women. I can’t tie a sari on *myself*. And how do you all have so many petticoats lying around?
21. October 2009 at 9:03 am
Mmm, chana bhature!
Don’t most women have a petticoat to match each sari? Each one of my saris has a petticoat in a matching color. Maybe that’s because most of mine are more sheer material though?
21. October 2009 at 10:02 am
I have 6 or 7 saris, 4 petticoats, and only 3 “regular” blouses – mainly because I was given saris as wedding gifts, but did not have time in India to have matching blouses made (instead I purchased short kurtas from Fab India that matched).
I don’t think you need petticoats to match each sari – after all, if you’re wrapping it correctly, the petticoat should never be seen. Maa uses a plain white petticoat most days, I believe, whatever sari she’s wearing. I have a plain white one, two that match my wedding & reception saris, and one blue one, as I seem to gather a lot of blue saris.
21. October 2009 at 11:10 am
Hmm, ok. I’ve got 6 saris, each with matching petticoats and blouses. All of mine are sheer material, so I think a white petticoat would shine through–”it’s snowing down south!”
You’re going to have fun on your next trip if you have time to have some things made! CTC Plaza has an excellent selection of saris.
21. October 2009 at 12:39 pm
I also have 6 or 7 saris, a petticoat and a blouse to match each, plus a spare black petticoat (most of my saris are dark colors). I only have 1 sari that’s sheer material. The rest are regular silk ones, which really don’t need matching petticoats, although it’s nice to have them.
I ended up with so many of everything because G’s grandmother passed away last year and she had so many saris — some of which she had never even worn. My MIL had taken a few of them and then decided it was too much of a pain to have the blouses let out, so she gave them to me because they’re close to my size.
BTW, I love Fab India. I wish it wasn’t so expensive to buy online from them — the markup from the actual store prices is ridiculous!
21. October 2009 at 6:49 pm
Yup, agree with GG. I think my mom has three or four petticoats, and I will not speak about the scads of saris she has. And yes, hers are “off” colors like blue or green cotton–whatever was cheapest (I think she made them herself, long ago). But, then again, she also doesn’t have any sheer saris (“it’s a ‘girl’s’ trend,” according to her). BTW, I am a “girl” and I am almost 31. So.
21. October 2009 at 3:35 pm
Happy Diwali! You guys look great in your saris! I love to wear sari, which is not too common in Pakistan, but my MIL is East African Indian (ethnically Gujarati), she wears sari everyday. Out of respect for her, and because I liked it, I wore sari for my wedding reception in Karachi, which is relatively rare. Most people there wear gharara or sharara. I have 5-6 saris with matching blouses and petticoats, unfortunately I do not get to wear much because we don’t have any desi friends or go to desi events here in Dallas.
Gajar ka halwa is one of my fave desserts! Yum!
22. October 2009 at 3:20 am
Saris are gorgeous. I would love to try one on, learn how to wrap one. I have always wondered what people would think of a Western woman in a sari – I mean, obvious in London it would look out of place, but the appreciate the effort in India by the sounds of it?
22. October 2009 at 12:31 pm
The effort is always appreciated in India or Indian groups, at least according to my own experiences and those I’ve read about. I can’t count the number of times I was complemented on wearing a sari while in India – or a salwar kameez, for that matter. Oh, and wrapping a sari (and wearing one) isn’t really isn’t that hard – I think people talk it up as more difficult than it is! More difficult than just throwing on jeans & a t-shirt, certainly, but not that hard.
22. October 2009 at 2:26 pm
Nice Sari, gorigirl. And you look different in ALL your photos…from ur wedding to here!
22. October 2009 at 5:25 pm
GG ,thanks for you reply and I understand where you are coming from when you used the term ‘south indian manager’.
Personally, its seemed a little bit odd for me when you mentioned”south indian manager”, i prefer to be called Indian ,but you can call what ever you feel appropriate because i understand your intentions are not negative. I really appreciate the effort you made into blending with your indian family and culture..May you should consider a Indian/duel citizenship:)
24. October 2009 at 1:57 am
Nice! That sure is the Diwali spirit!
A few years back i cooked up a bowl full of kheer for Diwali and took to my office back in Connecticut. My colleagues were all quite excited about the rice pudding, as they called it.
26. October 2009 at 12:34 pm
Hi Gori Girl, love this website, I am down in Virginia Beach, not too far, and love different cultures. Found your website from another. I have been watching those wonderful Bollywood movies for over a year now, must have seen over 50 or so and own about 30, I am so addicted. I have one co-worker from the south of India, (Kerala) unfortunately the only Indian that I know. Every time I meet someone in a store I am asking them Hindi questions and they are very surprised. LOL, I just love it. Will be reading this blog for a while to catch up, great work.
28. October 2009 at 3:15 pm
wow .. u draped the saree on ur own ..
i feel ashamed now
i am a desi, spent my first 25 years in India and still don’t know how to drape one …
back there, i never felt the need for one since i loved jeans and tees and salwars and kurtas and kurtis …
but here i feel there r so many desi get togethers and the dress code sometimes is a saree and i have to get my frnds help ..
how did u learn to wear saree?
any tips? youtube videos or even a blog post?
there r some youtube videos .. i tried to learn using those videos .. not much help ..
Please
Please
can u help me
30. October 2009 at 9:02 pm
Anamika, I was taught how wrap a sari by my husband’s mother (and got a few extra tips from the Indian coworker pictured above). I would recommend learning that way if at all possible, as it can be difficult to show exactly what to do via pictures or a video. Have a friend or family member who knows how to wrap a sari come over, and then do it yourself, several times in a row. Doing it yourself will lock it better in your memory, as well as repeating it several times.