I suppose if I had to choose, I’d go with intercultural, because that’s what defines my life with him.

At the same time, I understand that outside of an American/Western context and in Pakistan, my husband has no ‘race’ because Pakistani is a nationali identity, not a race (though in America my kids are called “half-Pakistani and half-white”), and he is of Afghan as well as indigenous Indian ethnic background…and his classification as “Khan” and being of an Indian origin Urdu speaking family from a particular place functions similarly to a racial category in terms of identity and privilege. There are of course ethnic groups in Pakistan who are racialized by their background, like Pakhtoons, for example. And, in Pakistan, I am a clearly defined member of the white race.

I do think of my husband and I as in both an interracial and intercultural marriage because of this. My two children are “biracial” in common American parlance, but actually multiracial in terms of actual origin.

Incidentally, my mother is of white Catholic background and my father is of Jewish background. Although they are both white and American, their cultural and religious backgrounds are distinct and intersections of difference have effects on their marriage and relationship, so I definately see them as bicultural and interreligious, but not interracial. And as a product of those two cultures in my home, I see a lot of parallels between biracial people’s narratives that I read, and my own life experience.

Being a member of any particular socially defined race brings too much to the table in terms of everything we are, our baggage, our privilege, very often our world view, and so forth. So I cannot discount it.

From my experiences, most of America would look at the differences in skin tone between my husband and I and declare us an interracial couple, which means that we have to deal with everything (good and bad) that goes along with being identified as interracial.