I normally avoid memes, but, hey, dooce did this one. And who doesn’t love a bit of relationship fluff, especially mid-week when the weekend still seems so far off? I’d love to hear all of yours as well – I’m not “tagging” anyone, but after you finish reading, do write up your own answering all or some of the questions. If you have your own blog, link back here for a trackback or comment with a link so I (and everyone else) can find ‘em. And if you don’t have your own blog feel free to add yours in the comments.
What are your middle names?
Prior to getting married my middle name was Noelle, which is a lovely and unique name. When I married Aditya I moved my short, Germanic last name into the middle name spot, dropped Noelle, and added Aditya’s nine letters long last name. NINE! I rather miss Noelle, but the tradeoff is that I now get to confuse the heck out of people when they read my nametag or work badge. Aditya doesn’t have a middle name because he’s a heathen Indian. Sometimes this causes him to cry himself to sleep at night.
How long have you been together?
We’ve been married for a little over two years, and together for five as of last Saturday. The picture above is of our honeymoon after the American wedding. We went camping on the Channel Islands off the coast of Santa Barbara in California.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Depending on how you define “know”, either six months or a few weeks. See (some of) the story here.
Who asked whom out?
Well now. He invited me to dinner and a movie at his place – sausage pizza, rum & coke, and Fight Club. On Valentine’s Day. At the time we were just friends, and he phrased it very sneakily so that I couldn’t be sure it was a date or not. Plus, you know, who watches Fight Club on their first date? (Aditya & I, apparently.) His strategy of date-asking is known as “plausible deniability”, and is a dastardly way of avoiding rejection when you ask someone out. And I wasn’t the first girl taken in by it, I hear…
How old are each of you?
We’re both in our mid-twenties.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
His, actually. We’re both the babies of our families – I have an older brother and he has an older brother & sister. Both of the brothers live in the Bay Area, so when we see one, we inevitably see the other. However, his sister lives in Bombay, so when we make our biennial trip to India we see her too. Good thing his siblings are cool people (and they have children we get to spoil!).
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Work-life balance, without a doubt. We’re both in the “building one’s career” stage of life, so we’re occasionally often working long hours. And then we get home, and find that, once again, the dogs failed to cook us dinner and clean the house. Fracking freeloaders.
Did you go to the same school?
We both went to the same small, liberal arts college in rural Indiana, which meant that a significant portion of our time dating was spent wandering the aisles of Super Walmart. He graduated the year before I did, and promptly fled to Silicon Valley, abandoning me among the cornfields.
Are you from the same home town?
Hahahahahaha. No.
Who is smarter?
Well… Someone in our partnership has a graduate degree, and someone doesn’t. Someone also scored a whole eighty points more on the SAT than someone else. I’m not naming any names here, but someone should be ashamed of being beaten out on the math section of the SAT by an AMERICAN GIRL. Ahem.
Who is the most sensitive?
I so totally have a higher pain threshold than Aditya. This mostly means I fall down a lot, since motor skills weren’t a high priority growing up. He whines every time he comes home from cricket practice after being hit by the ball – and he plays in a tennis ball league. (Yes, I know this is probably not what the question meant – but, c’mon, I don’t want to embarrass the poor boy too much now, do I?)
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
If by “eat out” you don’t mean “make a midnight run to Taco Bell to relive our days of youth”, the answer would probably be the sushi place down the highway. Their rainbow mountain and “she’s so hot” rolls are some of the best I’ve ever had – even Aditya’s parents liked them, despite the whole “raw fish” thing. Sidenote: every Indian I have introduced to sushi thought I was joking when I told them we’d be eating raw fish. And when I warned them about wasabi. Oh, the looks on their faces…
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
India. Or Indiana. It all depends on your frame of reference.
Who has the craziest exes?
This one goes to Aditya. He dated lots of girls his freshman year of college. (Insert bad joke here about American women falling for exotic foreign dudes.) While I haven’t met all of them, the statistics are completely on my side – I wasn’t nearly as active on the dating scene.
Who has the worst temper?
Eh, our tempers aren’t really comparable. He’s more of the flash fire type, while I can keep angry little embers burning in my blackened heart for quite some time.
Who does the cooking?
Me. Aditya can cook chicken, reheat pre-made food, prepare Maggie, and is the master of all things barbeque. When we don’t eat out, evenings go something like this:
Aditya, after looking through pantry and fridge: “There’s no food in the house, and I’m pretty certain it was your turn to go to the grocery store this weekend.”
Me: “Are you on crack? We could eat for a month on what’s in the fridge without even touching the emergency TastyBite rations.”
Aditya: “You’re just trying to weasel out of taking responsibility for not going to the grocery store earlier. You can’t fool me. Or the dogs. Look at the dogs staring at you – they can smell your guilt.”
Me: “They’re only paying attention because we’re in the kitchen. The kitchen which contains food. Look, I’ll show you – I’ll have an awesome stir fry done in thirty minutes.”
*30 minutes pass and dinner is served*
Me: “Wait a moment…”
Aditya: “Thanks for the delicious meal, my lovely tubelight. Took you long enough to light up on that one.”
Who is the neat-freak?
Our basement tenant. We’re pigs. Seriously.
Who is more stubborn?
I’ll admit to being this person.
Who hogs the bed?
Kajol and Panda, when they think it’s close enough to morning that they’ll be able to pretend they’re waking us up, rather than trying to steal a nap on the forbidden bed.
Who wakes up earlier?
Aditya is out of bed earlier 90% of the time, but when I need to get up super-early I have an easier time doing it than he does.
Where was your first date?
The “bum room” of Aditya’s frat, where we watched Fight Club on a couch older than either of us. Good times.
Who is more jealous?
Aditya’s fifth nickname for Kajol is “jealous cat” (cat being a pejorative term in his messed-up brain) because she always wants attention whenever Panda gets attention from me. Of course, Aditya always wants attention whenever anyone is getting attention from me.
How long did it take to get serious?
I was the first girl in college to last more than a fortnight – on the fifteenth day Aditya realized this, had a mini-crisis about the “seriousness” of our relationship, then calmed down when I smacked him on the head.
Who eats more?
Aditya has a far faster metabolism than me, so I think he ends up eating more, but he sure eats it slowly. The speed at which he eats is a running family joke.
Who does the laundry?
We both do. I separate the laundry, tell him which pile he is allowed to wash, he does those loads and I do the delicates & hand wash. I fold and he unorphans socks from our singleton box. It’s all very modern and egalitarian and shit.
Who’s better with the computer?
I am master of the interwebs with a blackbelt in googlefu, and Aditya is charge of the little things like software and hardware.
Who drives when you are together?
Adtiya, mostly, because he cares more than I do about the perfect way to zig-zag in traffic. I find this is a good rule in a relationship: the one who cares more about a little thing takes care of it.
19. February 2009 at 12:38 am
I did it! Thanks – I love being able to churn out a blog post without actually thinking of a subject to write about.
http://thegoriwifelife.blogspot.com/2009/02/get...
19. February 2009 at 12:47 am
Funny and poignant. Well written!
BTW – its a good thing you two seem to have similar diets. I actually know of a couple where the guy loves meat and the girl is a vegetarian. They practically have their own kitchens because the girl doesn't want meat cooked in the vegetarian pots.
Come to think of it – you two do seem to have a lot in common (you agree on what movies to watch?!) Hey I thought this was supposed to be an inter cultural relationship/blog!!
19. February 2009 at 12:57 am
Oooooh, these are fun! Here are my answers:
What are your middle names?
Mine is Kathleen, named for one of my aunts. He’d prefer that I not share his.
How long have you been together?
We've been married for a little over 8 months now, together for a little over four years.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Hmmmm, interesting question… In our case, we met through Match.com, so we had been corresponding for about a month or so before we first met. We had our first meeting and then our first official date, and we've been together ever since. So not long at all, I guess!
Who asked whom out?
He was the one to contact me first, so I guess you could say that he made the first move. Ordinarily, I wouldn't probably have gone for someone like him, simply based on his picture (this is not to say he's not a handsome guy, but just not the type I would have thought I'd be attracted to), but his optimism and love for life really came through in his emails. So I went for it, and I'm sure glad I did!
How old are each of you?
I'm in my early 30s, he's in his late 30s. We're 7 years apart. Neither of us look our age, though. Once, we were in a casino in Reno and a woman there thought I was honestly underage and that Ricky was doing something illegal! I still get carded sometimes, and I'm starting to appreciate that a lot more than I did when I was in my 20s…
Whose siblings do you see the most?
His, surprisingly. Ricky has 2 sisters, who live in Texas and Florida, and I have one sister, who lives in Iowa. But we end up getting together with his sisters much more often than we do with mine. I've actually spoken with his sisters more frequently than I have with my own in the past couple of months. Sort of an unfortunate situation, but I'm trying to remedy it.
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Hmmmm, I guess I'd have to say the thing I've found most difficult to deal with is the whole “Indian time” thing. I've always been a hyper-punctual person, so getting used to people (my husband included) who have a looser conception of what it means to be on time has been a challenge! Similarly, I still have trouble sometimes when I just want to get stuff done quickly and efficiently, and he wants to be measured and take his time. I like things to be more planned out and don't do too well with change (though I'm getting better at this), while he's more spontaneous and adaptable in many situations. But we've had many conversations about this, and I think we're gradually coming to a great happy medium on this issue!
Did you go to the same school?
No, though I almost went to his undergraduate university – but given that we're 7 years apart, there's no way we could have been there together. While he was in college, I was still in middle school!
Are you from the same home town?
Not at all – I'm a California native, and he was born in India, then moved to California when he was 10.
Who is smarter?
I suppose you'd have to define what you mean by “smart” first. He's pretty brilliant, and has much more of a head for numbers and logical thinking – and he's almost always right about almost everything (which can be a really annoying, though useful, trait!) I'm probably the better writer, and I'm quicker on the uptake and have more of a head for trivia (i.e., useless facts). But we're both over-educated!
Who is the most sensitive?
That would be me, at least as far as emotions go. Though he can be easily irritated at times!
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We've got our favorite restaurants, but we also like trying new places a lot, so I'm not sure we have one place we really frequent more than any other. We like to eat a lot of sushi (and living in So Cal we have plenty of places to get it), and there's a Mexican restaurant down the street we've been to a couple of times. When we were dating we ate a lot of Mediterranean food (given that there was a restaurant right across the street from my apartment), and we went to Coldstone Creamery a lot (sadly, our diets no longer permit such indulgences). We also frequent a local taco chain (Ricky's almost obsessed with their all-meat burritos), and we order in a lot of pizza.
Where is the furthest that you two have traveled together as a couple?
Zihuatenjo, Mexico – our honeymoon destination, and Orlando, Florida, for a conference of his that I tagged along for. We were planning to go to India this past December, but we've postponed the trip for later this year. Furthest road trip – driving me to and from a teaching job in Minnesota last year.
Who has the craziest exes?
I'm going to have to say Ricky, definitely. Of course, in his fantasy there WAS no man for me before he came along because I was a lesbian (I went to a women's college, right?). I let him have his little fantasy…
Who has the worst temper?
I'm more the flash-in-the-pan type of person, while Ricky's the slow burning embers of rage type.
Who does the cooking?
That would be me. Ricky claims he's a good cook, but I have yet to see much evidence for his claims. He does a great job with the BBQ, though. But given that I love to cook, this isn't really much of a problem.
Who is the neat freak?
Oh, that would be him. He's got a very mild case of OCD, so germs and having stuff not in the place he left it really bugs him. But I'm not a total slob, so I'm happy to accommodate his neat freakishness.
Who is more stubborn?
I think I'd have to say he is. I'm definitely more quick to change, while he takes a little longer.
Who hogs the bed?
Again, he's more of a bed hog. He will actually pull the covers up from the end of the bed and wrap them around his head while he sleeps. Making the bed every day is a continual chore.
Who wakes up earlier?
Me. I've always been an early riser – I take after my dad that way. Ricky, on the other hand, can sometimes sleep til noon if he doesn't have anywhere else to be. Of course, he often stays up til 4 or 5 in the morning working, so I let him have his beauty sleep. Living with a computer geek…
Where was your first date?
Our first meeting was at a coffeehouse. Our first actual date was at an Indian restaurant (my choice).
Who is more jealous?
I think he is – but neither of us really has ever had any cause for jealousy in our relationship.
How long did it take to get serious?
For me, it was about 4 or 5 months into our relationship that I realized I was in love with him. Ricky loves to tell the story of how when one of his friends met me for the first time (this was a couple of months in), he said to Ricky, “Wouldn't it be weird if someday, you guys got married?” Ricky says that's when he knew I was the one…
Who eats more?
I eat a lot faster, but in terms of sheer quantity, Ricky eats more.
Who does the laundry?
Me. Though I like Gori's idea of me separating out the laundry and then getting him to do a couple of loads!
Who's better with the computer?
Oh, him definitely. Ricky's getting his Ph.D. in Computer Science, so he'd better be the better one with the computer!
Who drives when you are together?
Ricky, always. I always offer, especially on long trips, but he's ever the gentleman and always powers through.
19. February 2009 at 10:34 am
Here you go!
http://metrolandmiscellany.blogspot.com/2009/02...
That was fun!
19. February 2009 at 3:52 pm
Aditya had a really close ABCD (American-born Confused Desi) female friend in college who was Gujarati. I would probably have been extremely worried about the closeness of their relationship, except that she was vegetarian, of course. It was very early on in our relationship that he told me he could never ever marry someone who was vegetarian – his parents would throw a larger fit about that than any other mixed-match, I do believe.
I've also been told that if I ever refused to allow tasty animal bodies to be cooked or served in the house it'd be grounds for divorce.
And, for the record, we actually didn't agree to watch Fight Club on our first date. I think Aditya had some romantic movie lined up, but I saw Fight Club on the coffee table and was all over it.
19. February 2009 at 4:25 pm
Match.com refused to match me when I tried it out a couple of years ago (just to see what it'd say about my personality). :- P
Regarding the laundry, Aditya does all the ones that use cold water & can go into the dryer, and I take care of the rest. I also remembered that he makes the bed after the sheets are washed – otherwise I do what Ricky does and strip the bed while sleeping.
19. February 2009 at 11:34 pm
You know I think it's kool that you're into Indian culture. I think the way you got into it is understandable. Aditya is an Indian as he was born there and grew up there. So when you started dating him and eventually married him, your interest in the culture was piqued. I, however, have been raised here in the US from a very early age so while I am cognizant of my culture and it is a component of my life I'm more a guy who happens to be Indian than an Indian guy. I once went out with this white girl who was totally into India. Yoga, vegetarianism, spirituality, etc. etc. A little too much for me. Suffice it to say, that didn't go past date one.
20. February 2009 at 10:07 am
musiclover, you sound like my husband (born and raised in the US). He sometimes jokes that I'm into more Indian stuff than he is, based solely on the fact that I watch AVS and Namaste America on the weekends and that I like more Indian food than he does.
I may do this survey later if I get a chance…
20. February 2009 at 10:16 am
What are your middle names?
Presently it’s Lee, however once I’m married there will be two…my middle name and his first name. That means my full name will be 31 characters. OR, you can subtract three for my middle name and you get the drift of how long B’s name really is. Please take note that this count does NOT include his middle name. When my parents gave their permission to our union and asked only that their grandchildren’s names be something that they could pronounce….B happily replied that he promised to keep the names under 15 characters a piece.
How long have you been together?
Eight glorious months.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Depending on how you define “know”, either one year and two months or two months. We worked together first and then became close friends later.
Who asked whom out?
Hahahaha! Uhm, to be quite honest I’m not entirely sure now. I had thought at the time that I was the one asking him out in a general “Hey wanna go to the beach and roam around a bit” kind of way. However, knowing him better, I feel that it is entirely plausible that he orchestrated the entire thing in such a way as to defer any possibility of the “blame” of our first date falling on him. He is the king of misdirection.
How old are each of you?
Between “age of consent” and “product expiration”.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
So far, mine. This is fortuitous for him, being that I have only brothers and he and they have all banded together to form a “who can pick on her the most” group. Currently B is in the lead with the most points. I’m so PROUD of him!
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Currently it’s convincing everyone what an excellent idea our future marriage is and that my cooking will in no way kill his taste for Indian food.
Did you go to the same school?
We both went to school. That’s where the similarities end.
Are you from the same home town?
Hahahahahaha. No.
Who is smarter?
Smarter in what genre? If we’re talking math here, I’m afraid that I will plead the fifth. If we are talking philosophy, psychology, cultural anthropology or literature, I am LOADS smarter. If we are talking math or anything concerning math or anything remotely related to or reliant on math…fine, he’s smarter. Happy now?
Who is the most sensitive?
Well, I am the most emotional but he is the most sensitive TO my emotions. For someone who does not enjoy reading for pleasure, he is adroit at reading me like a book.
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
I believe I can second Gori’s admission here of midnight Taco Bell runs (ohhh the joys of Veggie Bean Chalupa’s), however, mostly we cook at home or go out to a few of our favorite Indian or Thai food “hotels” as B calls them. They all know us so well by now that when they see us coming they go ahead and start preparing the food that they know we are going to order.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Virginia or was it Buffalo New York? I look at it more as relative distance, if a place is more cold than the other, and each are fairly similar in distance from originating departure, then furthest depends solely on how badly one wants to get away from the colder of the regions. So, I would say Buffalo as it was at least 2 degrees warmer than the inside of my aunt’s sub-zero fridge.
Who has the craziest exes?
YAY!!! I finally win! Fortunately, my crazy ex really and truthfully likes B very much AND also recently got engaged himself so I am finally clear of crazy exes.
Who has the worst temper?
This one is difficult as neither of us is prone to anger. I guess I would say me. It takes forever and a day to push me to that point but once you do I’m a bull in a china shop. He however, gets frustrated or upset but never truly angry. He’s too laid back to expend that kind of energy.
Who does the cooking?
Me generally, although B is a pretty good cook and has taught me how to make many of his favorite Indian meals so that he does not need to worry with cooking them for himself in the future (uh huh….sure buddy). Mostly though, we help each other out no matter what. One person does the chopping and the other does the cooking (with the chopping person standing there asking questions like “Are you really going to add that? Is it supposed to look/smell/taste like that? Do you think the smoke will clear soon?”)
Who is the neat-freak?
Hahahahahah wait, wait, wait….can’t breathe….gimme a minute to catch my breath. Ok, Ok, I’m good now….please repeat the question….Hahahahahahahah!
Who is more stubborn?
I would like to say I win again but I think this one is pretty close to being a tie. We are both stubborn but the good news is that we aren’t negatively so and usually about completely different things so we balance each other’s stubbornness out.
Who hogs the bed?
Him. Definitely and 120% positively HIM. He is also a consummate blanket thief as well as being extraordinarily skilled in the denial of being either of these things.
Who wakes up earlier?
Over the years I have acquired the skill and taught my brain the ability to recognize the difference between an alarm clock on weekdays and an alarm clock on weekends. Therefore, I am eminently skilled in shutting the damn thing off during the week and over sleeping. He likes to call and raz me that he has been up, had chai, fixed and ate breakfast and is ready for work only to find that I’m still sleeping.
Where was your first date?
IHop and then a sunny warm Caly beach.
Who is more jealous?
When we were in the beginning stages of “are we dating or are we not”, he had his hair cut at a salon and came back with his lovely beautiful shiny thick black hair WAY too short. I told him “But you have such gorgeous hair. Why did you go so short?” To which he replied “The 26 year old stylist said she thought I looked better with it shorter”. To which I replied by narrowing my eyes and asking how he knew that she was 26. To which he laughed and said “Now I know for sure you’re jealous”. Touche.
How long did it take to get serious?
About five months for us to go from friends to dating to “Mine Mine Mine”. (Inside joke: watch Finding Nemo with the annoying seagulls and you’ll get half the joke).
Who eats more?
YAY! I do NOT win this one! B does hands down. I’m always completely amazed and enthralled to watch the capacity of food this guy can take in and still stay so athletic and balanced. If I ate a fraction of the food he does I would need a wedge to get out of bed every morning and elastic waist pants would be my new best friends. Kind of like after the holidays and you walk around in nothing but sweat pants because the thought of anything with a button and zipper is pure torture.
Who does the laundry?
Since we live apart, we do our own laundry. Although, I’m fairly certain that he has a pair of socks that could walk/talk and pay rent, they are THAT ripe.
Who’s better with the computer?
I am currently studying to get my PhD in Google-ology and already hold a Masters in “Making this damn thing work” Software Applications. B is a real and true DBA and Developer so I leave the error and problem resolving stuff in his capable hands.
Who drives when you are together?
In the US, that would be me. B considers the questions on the CA drivers test as “Bakwas” and absolutely refuses to take the written test until they conform to his high standards. I am currently looking forward to the time when we are in India and I can pester him about his speed, the dirt on his motorcycle, whether he has enough gas and that I think he is going to the wrong way. Paybacks are fun!
20. February 2009 at 2:07 pm
Ah…..you must live in the northeast. Just got back from there. Loved it. Watching AVS and Namaste America and liking Indian food is fine. Becoming a yoga instructor, changing your name to some yogic form and just generally being weird is not. ;P
20. February 2009 at 2:17 pm
I refer to those sort of people as having “fetishistic cultural interest” a la this comic. While I like some aspects of Indian culture, I'm not “into Indian culture”, really. It's not a thing that defines the “core me”, any more than my love of tea defines me. (And I probably spend more waking hours consuming tea than I spend hanging out with Aditya.)
20. February 2009 at 2:24 pm
Aditya is obsessed with IHOP. I think it's because they serve desert in the guise of pancakes. Anyways, the first date sounds like our kind of fun. But then you follow it up with going to Buffalo in the winter! Craaaazeeee.
20. February 2009 at 2:59 pm
Yep, I do live in the northeast.
musiclover's story reminded me of another weird person with a “fetishistic cultural interest” (nice phrase, GG!): G was in sales for awhile, and was meeting a client for the first time. The client (Italian-American guy, fwiw) saw G's name tag and said “Oh! You're Indian! I love India. In fact, I'm Hindu.” G said something about that being cool, and then the guy asked G to give him his hand. G complied (anything for a sale!) and the guy put his hands on G's wrist, closed his eyes, and didn't say anything for a full minute. Then the guy says very quietly, “I'm feeling your aura as a child. You were a very sweet child.” G has no idea what to say and is feeling quite awkward, so he chokes out a whispered “Thank you” and quickly made his leave. G quit that job soon after (not because of this, though) and was so thrilled to never have to see that guy again.
20. February 2009 at 3:01 pm
I introduced Bear to IHOP and he was enraptured with the fact that you can get french fries with your pancakes. TOO GOOD!
Yep, we're both nuts. We were just trying to find a nice “romantic” and “nature” rich place to go. We've traveled through most of CA so wanted out of the state. We both like snow. We both like water. We both wanted to get away from everyone for a couple of days. Niagara had water. Niagara had snow. Fying to Niagara was cheap, staying there was cheap. We thought, why not?
Then we got there.
10 Below. Everything closed or boarded up for the winter. One Denny's open (NO IHOP!!!!!). One gas station open. One Punjab joint open. And the boarder to Canada open (which we couldn't cross cuz he didn't have a Visa). Let me tell you, watching the lights and action of Canada from our quiet and deserted hotel in the US was like a dog watching a plate of food being passed around. We drooooooled ok???
But cold as it was, we had fun roaming around, getting lost, viewing the frozen falls and laughing at our own stupidity.
Plus, he got to learn all about what happens when you have a runny nose and it's 10 below outside! Muahahahahahahah!
20. February 2009 at 5:22 pm
Too funny. Reminds of when I was young, living in NY and we'd go to the airport to drop off some people. We'd run into those Hare Krishnas promulgating their faith. I distinctly remember one time one of them came up to us to commune with fellow Hindus and revel in the rapture of the Mahabharat or Ramayan and my uncle smiles and tells him we're Muslims. Lol
20. February 2009 at 6:07 pm
Oh yeah. We're Hindus.
20. February 2009 at 6:14 pm
That is so funny, my husband is also obsessed with IHOP. American breakfast is his favorite thing. Recently he's been going there at least once a week for their Nutella crepes. He loves Cracker Barrell too, especially things like their gravy and biscuits.
21. February 2009 at 3:35 pm
“Who hogs the bed?”
Interesting you blame the dogs… i had resorted to tucking the comforter under the mattress to thwart your maniacal lust for it…
22. February 2009 at 6:43 am
LOL! When I first read Gori's answer to the question of bed hogs…I pictured this:
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoo...
However, I believe I have found a resolution for you Aditya. Bear threatens to do the same for me as he suffers under the delusions that I am the blanket hog and not he. (Whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr).
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoo...
24. February 2009 at 3:10 pm
I couldn't resist, I hope you guys don't mind:
What are your middle names?
Frances. It was three of my great-grandparents names (Francis Frances and Frances). Prajjwal’s middle name is Kumar, it’s the same as his brother, his father and his grandfather. Also- everyone in Prajjwal’s family (including his mom) has a first name that has something to do with “light.” There is actually a funny story from when my mother first met Prajjwal. She asked what his name would be “in English.” She was looking for “what is the English equivalent” like Peter or Paul, but Prajjwal answered, “light, or bright” which thoroughly confused her.
How long have you been together?
Nearly six years. Time flies baby.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About 2 months. He transferred from another university and I bumped into him in the International House a few hours after he arrived. By October we were “together” so to speak.
Who asked whom out?
I don’t think there was ever an official “ask,” it just sort of happened. At first we would use the “study” excuse to hang out together (man, we got a lot of work done in those days, if only to sit across the table from each other in the lounge), and eventually we just did everything together.
How old are each of you?
Mid to late 20s depending on which one of us you are asking.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
It’s a toss up. Prajjwal’s brother lived with us for 6 months when he graduated from undergrad and was looking for a job, and he has also spent a few summers with us as well. My sister is in college close by and drops in quite frequently. My other sister lives farther away, so we only usually see her on holidays. That doesn’t include, of course, our quite large extended Nepali (and other nationalities) “family.” It isn’t unusual for us to have at least one house guest 3 out of 7 nights a week!
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
I’ll interpret this question as… what is my largest frustration… not speaking good Nepali. I am constantly surrounded by Nepali speakers, and often only have a glimmer of understanding about the details of their conversation. It would be nice not to have to ask for clarifications all the time. After 6 years, its actually quite shameful that I haven’t done better… but there is always something to distract you from studying it. I’d also like to understand Hindi better so I could appreciate Bollywood music and movies without subtitles. Although- we are planning to go to Nepal for a month this summer… so Nepali language school, here I come!
Did you go to the same school?
Yes… that’s where we met…
Are you from the same home town?
self-explainatory.
Who is smarter?
We are definitely on different ends of the spectrums… since Prajjwal is working on a Phd he far exceeds me in math, computers, modeling and mapping, etc. However I’ve probably out-read him in books 75 to 1, my creative writing skills are far better, and I edit his important paperwork (and his siblings and family members, when need be).
Who is the most sensitive?
Prajjwal is Mr. Consistent, he never gets super over excited and crazy, but he never gets angry and overly frustrated. You can always rely on him to be dependable and even tempered. Me, on the other hand, has a much quicker fuse, and can get excited or frustrated, depending on the circumstance. I always tell him that it isn’t fair. When we have kids some day he is going to be “Mr. Cool-Dad” and I’m probably going to be delegated the “Rules Lady.” I’m already seeing signs with our new dog…
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Prajjwal and I can be creatures of habit, so we usually frequent the same places (and eat the same things!)- the Vietnamese restaurant with delicious summer rolls and soup, the “spicy Chinese restaurant” in the next town over, or the Mexican burrito place. Before we moved, there was a Laotian place we used to go to so much they knew my “usual” special order by heart. Occasionally we will go Indian, but not so much. If we are having a get together within the Nepali community then the specialty is “momos”- delicious delicious (did I mention delicious?) Nepali dumplings with spicy sauce.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Nairobi, Kenya. I was studying there, and Prajjwal was able to “get” a research grant to study Nairobi River pollution at the same time that I was there. How convenient! I like to say, “why can’t Nepali people speak Swahili? It would make my life so much easier!”
Who has the craziest exes?
Ha ha ha… well… even though they aren’t technically “exes” I think Prajjwal wins this one. He was quite the hot commodity in high school, and I’ve heard a lot of stories about the lengths that some people would go to “woo” him. Nothing I have can even compare.
Who has the worst temper?
Me, although when your alternative is Mr. Nice Guy, I’d like to think that I’m not so far down the angry scale.
Who does the cooking?
I think that it is relatively even. Prajjwal would probably say he cooks more, but I do a lot of cooking when people are over. He does all the meat (I’ve been a vegetarian for more than a decade) but I can do western or Asian or African vegetarian faire.
Who is the neat-freak?
I used to be a huge neat-freak, but I’ve mellowed out over the years. Now we are pretty much even. Organized, and put together, but not spotless.
Who is more stubborn?
Probably me, again, by default.
Who hogs the bed?
Neither. I guess we both sleep relatively calmly… in fact I prefer to sleep in a smaller bed so that we can cuddle closer when we sleep, otherwise we sleep either on other ends of the bed, or we crowd to the edge or corner together.
Who wakes up earlier?
) and I was the morning person while our friend was the evening person. I’d rouse everyone and get them in the car by 7:30 or 8am, and our friend would make sure we got to our appointed destination even if it was 2 o’clock in the morning.
I wake up earlier. Prajjwal is a night owl. He studies until 2 in the morning or later each night, while I get up around 7am (or 5am before I switched to a new job), so guess who gets to walk the dog? Over the summer we took a road trip with two friends (Nepalis- of course
Where was your first date?
There was no real first date. It just was.
Who is more jealous?
Probably me, but not really. I don’t really have much to be jealous about, after knowing Prajjwal for so long, I really don’t feel threatened by much. I remember the first time I met a Nepali girl… at first I only knew a bunch of guys, but then I met this girl, and I was jealous because she could connect with him in his own language, in a totally different and seemingly more intimate way then I could. I have to admit that made me jealous… but since she called him “Prajjwal-dai” (Prajjwal big brother) I knew there wasn’t really anything to be worried about.
How long did it take to get serious?
A few months. Prajjwal said he wouldn’t have said he was “dating” me unless he was serious, but it took him a year and a half to tell his parents. When they knew, then I knew, he was in it for the long haul.
Who eats more?
Prajjwal, for sure. It amazes me how much Nepali people can eat. Even his mom… she is this tiny lady and she eats piles and piles of rice! Although American food/ingredients have taken its toll on Prajjwal, he used to be this really really skinny guy and now he is normal sized.
Who does the laundry?
Prajjwal 80% of the time, because the laundry is in the super-creepy basement of the apartment we live in. If there is a lot of laundry or if I want to do it, I will take it to a laundry mat nearby. I think I do most of the folding though.
Who’s better with the computer?
Prajjwal. Although I am getting more confidence now that I have been deemed the “tech girl” in my office.
Who drives when you are together?
We both love to drive, so it is usually a fight to the driver’s seat. I feel like I drive more often but I probably just feel that way because I drive to work and he walks and I drive more places (conferences, relatives, etc). When we are in the car together it is probably 50/50.
24. February 2009 at 3:10 pm
I couldn't resist. I hope you don't mind…
What are your middle names?
Frances. It was three of my great-grandparents names (Francis Frances and Frances). Prajjwal’s middle name is Kumar, it’s the same as his brother, his father and his grandfather. Also- everyone in Prajjwal’s family (including his mom) has a first name that has something to do with “light.” There is actually a funny story from when my mother first met Prajjwal. She asked what his name would be “in English.” She was looking for “what is the English equivalent” like Peter or Paul, but Prajjwal answered, “light, or bright” which thoroughly confused her.
How long have you been together?
Nearly six years. Time flies baby.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About 2 months. He transferred from another university and I bumped into him in the International House a few hours after he arrived. By October we were “together” so to speak.
Who asked whom out?
I don’t think there was ever an official “ask,” it just sort of happened. At first we would use the “study” excuse to hang out together (man, we got a lot of work done in those days, if only to sit across the table from each other in the lounge), and eventually we just did everything together.
How old are each of you?
Mid to late 20s depending on which one of us you are asking.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
It’s a toss up. Prajjwal’s brother lived with us for 6 months when he graduated from undergrad and was looking for a job, and he has also spent a few summers with us as well. My sister is in college close by and drops in quite frequently. My other sister lives farther away, so we only usually see her on holidays. That doesn’t include, of course, our quite large extended Nepali (and other nationalities) “family.” It isn’t unusual for us to have at least one house guest 3 out of 7 nights a week!
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
I’ll interpret this question as… what is my largest frustration… not speaking good Nepali. I am constantly surrounded by Nepali speakers, and often only have a glimmer of understanding about the details of their conversation. It would be nice not to have to ask for clarifications all the time. After 6 years, its actually quite shameful that I haven’t done better… but there is always something to distract you from studying it. I’d also like to understand Hindi better so I could appreciate Bollywood music and movies without subtitles. Although- we are planning to go to Nepal for a month this summer… so Nepali language school, here I come!
Did you go to the same school?
Yes… that’s where we met…
Are you from the same home town?
self-explainatory.
Who is smarter?
We are definitely on different ends of the spectrums… since Prajjwal is working on a Phd he far exceeds me in math, computers, modeling and mapping, etc. However I’ve probably out-read him in books 75 to 1, my creative writing skills are far better, and I edit his important paperwork (and his siblings and family members, when need be).
Who is the most sensitive?
Prajjwal is Mr. Consistent, he never gets super over excited and crazy, but he never gets angry and overly frustrated. You can always rely on him to be dependable and even tempered. Me, on the other hand, has a much quicker fuse, and can get excited or frustrated, depending on the circumstance. I always tell him that it isn’t fair. When we have kids some day he is going to be “Mr. Cool-Dad” and I’m probably going to be delegated the “Rules Lady.” I’m already seeing signs with our new dog…
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Prajjwal and I can be creatures of habit, so we usually frequent the same places (and eat the same things!)- the Vietnamese restaurant with delicious summer rolls and soup, the “spicy Chinese restaurant” in the next town over, or the Mexican burrito place. Before we moved, there was a Laotian place we used to go to so much they knew my “usual” special order by heart. Occasionally we will go Indian, but not so much. If we are having a get together within the Nepali community then the specialty is “momos”- delicious delicious (did I mention delicious?) Nepali dumplings with spicy sauce.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Nairobi, Kenya. I was studying there, and Prajjwal was able to “get” a research grant to study Nairobi River pollution at the same time that I was there. How convenient! I like to say, “why can’t Nepali people speak Swahili? It would make my life so much easier!”
Who has the craziest exes?
Ha ha ha… well… even though they aren’t technically “exes” I think Prajjwal wins this one. He was quite the hot commodity in high school, and I’ve heard a lot of stories about the lengths that some people would go to “woo” him. Nothing I have can even compare.
Who has the worst temper?
Me, although when your alternative is Mr. Nice Guy, I’d like to think that I’m not so far down the angry scale.
Who does the cooking?
I think that it is relatively even. Prajjwal would probably say he cooks more, but I do a lot of cooking when people are over. He does all the meat (I’ve been a vegetarian for more than a decade) but I can do western or Asian or African vegetarian faire.
Who is the neat-freak?
I used to be a huge neat-freak, but I’ve mellowed out over the years. Now we are pretty much even. Organized, and put together, but not spotless.
Who is more stubborn?
Probably me, again, by default.
Who hogs the bed?
Neither. I guess we both sleep relatively calmly… in fact I prefer to sleep in a smaller bed so that we can cuddle closer when we sleep, otherwise we sleep either on other ends of the bed, or we crowd to the edge or corner together.
Who wakes up earlier?
) and I was the morning person while our friend was the evening person. I’d rouse everyone and get them in the car by 7:30 or 8am, and our friend would make sure we got to our appointed destination even if it was 2 o’clock in the morning.
I wake up earlier. Prajjwal is a night owl. He studies until 2 in the morning or later each night, while I get up around 7am (or 5am before I switched to a new job), so guess who gets to walk the dog? Over the summer we took a road trip with two friends (Nepalis- of course
Where was your first date?
There was no real first date. It just was.
Who is more jealous?
Probably me, but not really. I don’t really have much to be jealous about, after knowing Prajjwal for so long, I really don’t feel threatened by much. I remember the first time I met a Nepali girl… at first I only knew a bunch of guys, but then I met this girl, and I was jealous because she could connect with him in his own language, in a totally different and seemingly more intimate way then I could. I have to admit that made me jealous… but since she called him “Prajjwal-dai” (Prajjwal big brother) I knew there wasn’t really anything to be worried about.
How long did it take to get serious?
A few months. Prajjwal said he wouldn’t have said he was “dating” me unless he was serious, but it took him a year and a half to tell his parents. When they knew, then I knew, he was in it for the long haul.
Who eats more?
Prajjwal, for sure. It amazes me how much Nepali people can eat. Even his mom… she is this tiny lady and she eats piles and piles of rice! Although American food/ingredients have taken its toll on Prajjwal, he used to be this really really skinny guy and now he is normal sized.
Who does the laundry?
Prajjwal 80% of the time, because the laundry is in the super-creepy basement of the apartment we live in. If there is a lot of laundry or if I want to do it, I will take it to a laundry mat nearby. I think I do most of the folding though.
Who’s better with the computer?
Prajjwal. Although I am getting more confidence now that I have been deemed the “tech girl” in my office.
Who drives when you are together?
We both love to drive, so it is usually a fight to the driver’s seat. I feel like I drive more often but I probably just feel that way because I drive to work and he walks and I drive more places (conferences, relatives, etc). When we are in the car together it is probably 50/50.
24. February 2009 at 4:12 pm
That is interesting… Luckily Prajjwal's mom is a vegetarian (she is one up on me because I eat eggs and she doesn't) and when she came to visit she wouldn't eat anything unless I was eating it too, because she could trust my food choices (it was a good bonding experience).
However when Prajjwal was originally hinting that he might have an American girlfriend his mother was the one who was most “upset” she basically said, “All Americans eat beef and drink Coca-Cola, so Nepali and American culture is not compatible.” Boy was she pleasantly surprised to find out there are vegetarians here!
My boss recently joked that he found it hard to believe that Prajjwal and I don't have clashes when it comes to food. Prajjwal, although he doesn't eat beef, loves his meat. I think he might die without chicken, and goat is one of his favorites, but he has also tried crocodile, camel, ostrich, kudu, gemsbok, springbok, caribou, moose and antelope (my dad is a hunter, thus the caribou and antelope). On a daily basis we eat largely vegetarian, but Prajjwal sneaks in a few chicken meals every now and then, and when we have guests he usually makes a meat dish.
Lucky for me though, that I fell in love with someone whose national cuisine had so many delicious vegetarian options! I can only imagine if I fell for a Kenyan (national dish- roasted goat meat), or someone from Southeast Asia where fish is big.
26. February 2009 at 8:14 pm
MusicLover647, Hare Krishna's are not that into Mahabharat or Ramayana, since their isht is Krishna. They were probably just using them as an “in”, to woo your uncle into a conversation.
I've known several of them and know how they operate.
They tend to know more about Hinduism than alot of Indians, on a philosophical level that is.
But they've got other issues that cancel out their philosophical bent.
27. February 2009 at 6:06 am
Well, I have really enjoyed reading this one GG, but alas, since I am single, I will just sit this one out LOL.. but it has been very enjoyable!
27. February 2009 at 11:11 am
LOL I can't wait to get married and do a meme just like this one.
27. February 2009 at 8:10 pm
People, a heads up for those of you who post about yourselves online:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/World/Job-su...
Best,
RW
27. February 2009 at 8:18 pm
There's been a verb for that ever since Heather Armstrong got fired for
blogging about her job back in, what, early 2002? It's called being dooced.
Just don't write about your job in specifics.
28. February 2009 at 2:44 pm
Pecan Pie
Oh I wasn't trying to put down Hare Krishnas by any means. You're right they know more about Hinduism than most Indians. Talking to a few of them has left me feeling embarrassed at times. As far as what I think of them……..they're like anyone else. There are good ones and there are bad ones. I don't think it's right to make a sweeping judgement on the whole movement.
28. February 2009 at 3:29 pm
Hey GoriGirl
Check this out! Included it in my latest blog post.
http://www.thirteen.org/sites/reel13/indies/ind...
28. February 2009 at 7:04 pm
Or if you somehow do seem to get specific, make sure your name/email address/etc. is no where near the blog… another reason one should never use their real, whole name on a blog site.. or anything that can trace back to them absolutely positively and be harmful towards them.
1. March 2009 at 10:58 am
“Oh I wasn't trying to put down Hare Krishnas by any means.”
Even if you were, it's OK. They got alot of issues they need to tweak.
1. March 2009 at 2:56 pm
I just heard about this independently, and watched it and LOVED it! So beautifully done, and hilarious to boot. I was just going to make a post about it here, but you beat me to it! Sita Sings the Blues is awesome!
3. March 2009 at 10:49 am
Thanks for sending me this link! Very cool.
3. March 2009 at 12:22 pm
Thanks for sharing!
How difficult is it to find Nepalese language resources? I know I've never seen one, but then I've never looked
4. March 2009 at 7:33 pm
You should check out Prabhupada's “easy journey to other planets”… supposed to be physics meets hinduism… (meets hilarity).
Hare Krishna's don't actually know as much about Hinduism (or physics) as they may claim to.
4. March 2009 at 7:55 pm
Hare Krishna's don't know much about physics (unless there are some who are physicists). Physics is not part of their knowledge base. They do know quite a bit about Hinduism though. However their knowledge base in that regard would be limited to their sect and their sect's views of the various branches of Hinduism. I don't think Prabhupada claimed to be a physicist or know much about physics either.
Don't get me wrong here. I'm not a champion for their cause. It's just that I have found that they don't know any less about “Hinduism” than most Indian Hindus that I meet. But that's not saying much.
8. March 2009 at 8:10 am
Gori Girl, I am amazed at how much we have in common! I also am in a serious relationship with an Idian man and we met in college. We are in our mid twenties. We also live in DC, although I am currently living in Asia and my middle name is Noelle! I really enjoy reading your blog as we are in the process of informing the parents of how serious we are. It is very encouraging reading your story and how successful telling the parents and marriage went. I am hoping the same for myself and my Idian man!
10. September 2009 at 9:04 pm
Haha the dogs failed to cook dinner, fracking freeloaders! lolollol