Actually Indiandude, sadly the physical abuse of children does NOT exclude sexual abuse. Unfortunately, according to recent research of India, it appears that approx. 53% of children in India face sexual abuse:

“Parents and relatives, persons known to the child or in a position of trust and responsibility were mostly found to be the perpetrators of child sexual abuse in the country. According to the women and child development ministry-sponsored report, which assumes greater significance in the backdrop of the Nithari killings that brought into focus the issue of children’s safety, those in the age group of 5-12 years reported higher levels of abuse…

The survey, sponsored by WCD ministry and carried out by the NGO Prayas in association with Unicef and Save the Children, found that over 50% children were subjected to one or the other form of physical abuse and more boys than girls were abused physically. The first-ever survey on child abuse in the country disclosed that nearly 65% of schoolchildren reported facing corporal punishment — beatings by teachers — mostly in government schools.

Of children physically abused in families, in 88.6% of the cases, it was the parents who were the perpetrators. More than 50% had been sexually abused in ways that ranged from severe — such as rape or fondling — to milder forms of molestation that included forcible kissing.

The study also interviewed 2,324 young adults between the ages of 18 and 24, almost half of whom reported being physically or sexually abused as children. When it comes to emotional abuse, every second child was subjected to emotional assault and in 83% of the cases, parents were the abusers.” (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Over-53-children-face-sexual-abuse-Survey/articleshow/1881344.cms)

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Regarding traffic, one thing you’re ignoring as you compare India and US, is that in India, the traffic speed is much, much lower than in the US, and that’s why most accidents in India are likely to be less fatal/less severe than those in the US.

And, India is not USA – these are two different countries with different laws/cultures/ways, even though there may be some commonalities. So, I’m not sure what you mean by a comment like the following:

“Had any of the above happened in the United States, many would call 911 and get those people arrested.”

It’s illogical and pointless.

Actually Indiandude, sadly the physical abuse of children does NOT exclude sexual abuse. Unfortunately, according to recent research of India, it appears that approx. 53% of children in India face sexual abuse:

“Parents and relatives, persons known to the child or in a position of trust and responsibility were mostly found to be the perpetrators of child sexual abuse in the country. According to the women and child development ministry-sponsored report, which assumes greater significance in the backdrop of the Nithari killings that brought into focus the issue of children’s safety, those in the age group of 5-12 years reported higher levels of abuse…

The survey, sponsored by WCD ministry and carried out by the NGO Prayas in association with Unicef and Save the Children, found that over 50% children were subjected to one or the other form of physical abuse and more boys than girls were abused physically. The first-ever survey on child abuse in the country disclosed that nearly 65% of schoolchildren reported facing corporal punishment — beatings by teachers — mostly in government schools.

Of children physically abused in families, in 88.6% of the cases, it was the parents who were the perpetrators. More than 50% had been sexually abused in ways that ranged from severe — such as rape or fondling — to milder forms of molestation that included forcible kissing.

The study also interviewed 2,324 young adults between the ages of 18 and 24, almost half of whom reported being physically or sexually abused as children. When it comes to emotional abuse, every second child was subjected to emotional assault and in 83% of the cases, parents were the abusers.” (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Over-53-children-face-sexual-abuse-Survey/articleshow/1881344.cms)

1) What do you mean by “vaguely” Indian?
2) What is your point about my knowledge, or lack thereof regarding India? I freely admit that I don’t know that much about India, and what I do know largely comes from secondary sources (both people & media). As I say in my About Page (and have since I started this blog):

India is a large place, with a number of different religions, ethnicities, and languages. I’ve had significant contact with exactly one extended family from exactly one ethnicity with one particular religion, although I do know a fair number of South Asians. But, generally, I have my own experiences with intercultural relationships, and my Indian family, and they might be really, really different from yours. You should only use my advice or suggestions if it works for your particular situation.

“Being an Indian myself, I know the Indian way of thinking. The cultural way of thinking. I know what Indian culture accepts — for example, severe corporal punishment of children is accepted as an effective disciplining tool, without giving any thought to the psychological consequences in the mental growth of children (In the US, its a criminal offense; a felony). There are exceptions, but those are precisely that — exceptions — rather than the norm.”

Being Indian yourself, you know how exactly one Indian thinks – yourself. How everyone else thinks is conjecture based off of what you experience of other people through media & talking to others. Unless you have systematically worked your way through the entire country of India, those experiences of others is based on very biased sample – so your understanding of how “Indian culture” is, in general, is also biased. This is a basic fact of the human experience.

While you can certainly make educated guesses as to how many or most Indians may think on a certain topic, you are in no position to speak for “Indian culture” as a whole – just as I cannot speak for American culture as a whole. I have no idea what it is truly like to be a black American, for instance – likewise you cannot know what it is like to be anything other than your specific ethnicity (which is only one of many in the incredibly varied subcontinent). To speak as if you can know all of “Indian culture” – or to even suggest that it is one monolithic entity – is to do a disservice to the diversity of country, IMO.

Let me make it very clear: my objections to some of your statements are not that you make conjecture on some trends or main themes in Indian culture, but that you do so in an absolutist manner: “Indian culture is thus“. India, like all diverse nations, does not simply have one culture, and the overarching culture is not a simple black-and-white thing, but consists of various competing threads of thought.

“It takes a self-absorbed bookworm to demand statistics and sociological studies to establish the existence of what we all — just ask your husband — accept as cultural norms.”

Again, I am not demanding statistics and sociological studies to establish the existence of some norms. What I am requiring, on this blog, is that you do not stereotype or make absolutist statements about anything other than your own experiences. Feel free to discuss any trends you wish to – but identify them as they are – trends not complete reality. If you wish to establish anything beyond that, you will need more than your own personal opinion, since you (like all other people, including me, of course) suffer from observer bias.

Finally, I do not ban people on the basis of attacking me or my positions – indeed, I welcome it. However, I wish this to be a welcoming space for all individuals, and that means that prejudiced attitudes and writings are not welcome. Making absolutists statements do not further the discussion along in any meaningful matter. (Note: I do ban people if they attack other commenters. See “welcoming space” above.)

Aditya doesn’t spend a lot of time (I think), but he does do some of the backend & design work – for instance, he’s responsible for the new logo & header. I can tinker somewhat with the backend, though, too – thankfully, wordpress is pretty straightforward.

No, my influences are parts of the book
“Sperm Wars”, and my own interpretation of interpersonal relationships that I see around me.

Cheers,
LF

Ref: Sperm Wars:
http://www.torrentz.com/5f33873cbf7c8dc15aa56932a93ae8876720d437

That stuff is pseudo-science and pop-psychology.

And besides, the type of “dominance” you are talking about is rarely displayed by Desi men.

Indiandude, there are enough stats around from India. 36 country study by Murray Straus and team will give you enough of hard data. I was there when Prof. Straus unveiled his findings at the IVAT International Conference last year and we had a good discussion (personal converstation)on India (google the study you’ll get all the details I am traveling so wont dig in). Corporeal punishment is one of the reasons for the problem of street children in India. The fear of beating forces some kids in the age group eight and above to just run away. I worked with street children in Delhi and Japiur we came across the same story all the time. Remember “Salam Bombay,” Wada Pao ran away to escape beatings. In the U.S. spanking is an issue and it is relatively at a lower age 2.5 yrs to 4yrs, corporeal punishment at that age impacts IQ. CP at eight and above impacts EQ.

India or any place in the world may have millions of flaws but people wont abaondon them, life will continue there. May be some of us will not be able to endure it but those who live there that is there home. I have ample of respect for all tthose folks who live and continue to live in the places I would not dare to for what ever reason. I agree they would want it out if they could but still I commend their persistence. I have learned home is where your heart is or you become a wandering cloud.

It is second time in this post that people have said there is no statistical data or concrete research on the topics they are mentioning. I would like to insist there is ample of well documented research and many committed people working at the grassroots and above, just broaden your vision or search before making such flat statements.

perhaps you should avoid using the anonymity that the internet gives you, by using language that you would not use in real life.

Why not argue with class, and put your points forward in language which is tempered a little more?

Your points are excellent and well worth getting people to notice and know about them.

keep posting.

Cheers,
LF

Being an Indian myself, I know the Indian way of thinking. The cultural way of thinking. I know what Indian culture accepts — for example, severe corporal punishment of children is accepted as an effective disciplining tool, without giving any thought to the psychological consequences in the mental growth of children (In the US, its a criminal offense; a felony). There are exceptions, but those are precisely that — exceptions — rather than the norm.

It takes a self-absorbed bookworm to demand statistics and sociological studies to establish the existence of what we all — just ask your husband — accept as cultural norms.

You have assiduously exhibited a profound ignorance of Indian culture and have labeled any critique of Indian culture as a “stereotype.”

Which is fine, for I need a laugh from time to time. But the topsy-turvy philosophy which goes behind it is in need of urgent revision.

Perhaps you should reconsider your views on Indian culture. If you have any plans of moving to and settling down in India, it is better to have advice from Indians (not necessarily me) than resorting to the flawed methods and studies of the social sciences.

Physical abuse of children (excluding sexual abuse) and reckless driving are no less common in India than eating curry or arranging marriages. These are truths we all hold to be self-evident. Period.

Asking people to go some place else simply because they disagree with you, or have corrected you, and setting up straw man arguments and refuting them, only demonstrate the futility of your replies and expose the immaterial, philosophical superiority you ostensibly possess.

P.S. If you put yourself on the net, you will receive contentious posts, which are inevitable. You are welcome to ban anyone and everyone (go ahead). It is no victory!

The “Googled cases” are cases of “sexual abuse.” Of course, I never said sexual abuse is NEVER punished under the rule of law. I was merely speaking about “beating kids to the point of making them cry” which happens to most kids in India.

As a new surprise, I want to tell you that even sexual abuse is most of the time deliberately concealed:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/6539027.stm

Q.E.D

“People are likewise arrested for drunk driving in India.”

You are right. In fact, if a cop in India suspects that a person is driving under the influence, he will arrest him (or ask for a bribe and let him go, which is usually the case).

I was not talking about “drunk driving.”

Reckless driving (informal) = irresponsible changing of lanes; sounding the horn incessantly; having little concern for pedestrians; not following stop lights; not crossing intersections in a civilized manner.

NOTE: Alcohol abuse can be a driving factor for some of the above. But in India, we don’t need to be drunk to do it:

1) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJNYcwTi-BE&feature=related
(The two lanes are supposed to be opposite ones on an interstate.)

2) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7oBBBAAS9o&feature=fvw

3) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX5HMO15C0s&feature=related (And yes, these are all everyday experiences in India)

Conclusion: Had any of the above happened in the United States, many would call 911 and get those people arrested.

I rest my case!