This is Part Three of a continuing series on my Indian wedding adventure. If you’re new to Gori Girl, try checking out Part One and Part Two.
Lunchtime! Tomorrow the real wedding pictures start, but today was super hectic, so you’ll be getting the pictures from the lunch before the big night, and the story of bridal preparation and nerves.
After our pre-lunch siesta, everyone returned to the community center where the wedding ceremony would be held for lunch. All I can say is yum – the caterers were very, very good!
I continued to catch up with my mom and uncle – Aditya and I enjoyed hearing about their adventures so far while traveling in India. As you can see, they both really “took” to the land, including the traditional way of eating. I stuck to using a fork – I don’t mind eating with my hands, but if I try it with rice, well, let’s just say the results are rather messy.
By this time the hall was decorated, at least in the area where the guests were eating. While the wedding ceremony wouldn’t be until much later in the day, all of the people who had traveled from outside Calcutta were already hanging around. Baba (sitting on the far left) enjoyed catching up with all his Army buddies. After lunch everyone dispersed to get dressed in their wedding finery, but right now we’ll all pretty low key.
Here’s another picture of some of my new family – from left to right, Bappa-da (a cousin), Maa (Aditya’s mother), and Jijoo (Didi’s husband – so Aditya’s brother-in-law). There were so many different family members and friends to meet that I lost track of who was who very early on. But I do remember meeting Aditya’s former math tutor and family friend, M. Auntie, who told me of his very sorry study habits as a child. I 
He tried to excuse them, but neither of us were having any of it. A few more pictures of lunch are up at my flickr site, but let’s move on to the evening.
After lunch was over, I continued to hang out with Aditya, my mom and uncle, and close family members of Aditya’s. We wandered around the neighborhood, and Aditya pointed out places he had played cricket as a child. Then I began to develop a rather painful knot in my neck from a combination of nerves and awkward sari draping – the pallu (one end that hangs) was pinned in such a way that it felt like it was always about to slide down my shoulder, so I was unconsciously hitching one shoulder up higher than normal. For anyone planning on wearing a sari: try not to do this. It hurts. (Mom gave me a good back rub, which helped.)
After a suitable post-lunch siesta – ah, how wonderful it is to not have to worry about any sort of wedding planning! – it was determined that it was Time To Get Ready. I was whisked away by Bhabi and Auntie to a beauty parlor, along with all of my wedding clothes and jewelry. My only contribution to the set were some black, sandal-esque dress shoes that I had purchased in the US. I’m not the most enthusiastic shopper at the best of times, but searching for sandals in the winter during the Christmas rush for an outfit you’ve never seen when you’re not sure what look you’re suppose to be shooting for, anyways? Pure hell.
I was the big star at the beauty parlor – I don’t think they’d ever had a white client before. No one spoke English, but we got along well enough between Bhabi’s translations and hand gestures. First my hair was done up into a bun thingy, which involved a lot of pulling, hairspray, pins and glitter. (Red glitter – subtle, yet shiny!) A few red roses were also pinned in.
After that my nails & toes were done up in red polish (sensing a theme yet?). At first try the woman put on something blood red – it looked like I had attacked someone with my bare hands. I wasn’t quite sure how to communicate that I wasn’t thrilled with the color, since my hands were being pinned down, but Bhabi turned around from her own preparations, saw the color, and immediately requested a switch to something a bit darker and less, uh, violent. Given our timetable, there was simply not enough time to have Mehndi done on my hands and feet, sadly, so the nails would have to suffice.
Once the nails were done drying, I was hustled into a private room, where I put on my wedding petticoat and blouse. Then the salon’s professional sari-wrapper came in to make the perfect draping. She was pretty much The Awesome at it – I was dressed in no time with a fancy draping and perfect pleats. Then the various pieces of jewelry – anklets, bangles, bracelets, rings, necklaces, earrings, and a tikli in my hair were added to the look, along with a veil over the hair. Done!
Well, not quite. We left the salon for a family friend’s house, where I met up with my mom again – now looking pretty in a sari – and yet another family friend who would help me with my bindi decoration. After I put on my own makeup – white skin requires different products and styling than brown skin – I sat down to have bindis and bits of sandlewood paint put on my forehead and face. Perfect stillness is not easy to maintain when you’re a bundle of nerves – especially with a ticklish brush moving all over your face.
This series is continued in Indian Wedding Story: Part Four.
22. April 2008 at 9:04 pm
Gori, every time I see a pic of you in a sari I just think you are so regal, elegant, and beautiful looking! You pull it off so much better than I!!!
23. April 2008 at 11:35 am
I think you looked just fine in your sari! Anyways, the sari that my MIL chose is so beautiful that it would be quite the challenge to look bad in it.
23. April 2008 at 9:51 pm
I second what NK said, Gori – you looked so beautiful and elegant! I’m incredibly jealous that you got to wear one of those sheer veils. I really wanted to get one – but, at least according to my future sister-in-law, they’re very hard to find outside of India. And I love your wedding bindi! (I love bindis in general but especially wedding bindis.) I have to confess that I went little crazy ordering a bunch of bindis online last week – I can’t wait until they come in! Thanks so much for sharing the details of your wedding – it gets me really excited about my own!
24. April 2008 at 11:02 am
I’m SO JEALOUS! You look like a princess! I’ve always wanted to dress up in a sari and all that lovely jewelry.
Can’t wait to see the wedding pics!!!
24. April 2008 at 10:16 pm
Ooohh so is there a chapter 4 coming?
25. April 2008 at 12:40 am
I think you look like an exotic princess from a fairy tale.. *sigh*
25. April 2008 at 12:52 pm
Absolutely gorgeous!
25. April 2008 at 1:21 pm
So sweet of you to share your experience with us!
25. April 2008 at 6:12 pm
Yes, thanks for sharing, it’s great to get a blow-by-blow description.
And I fully commiserate about eating rice with hands – I think it must be a skill you have to learn in childhood
26. April 2008 at 11:14 am
New visitor to your site. I’m one more curious mind hopping around the world. I love your posts. You have easily covered some complex cultural topics and exchanges. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
You look gorgeous in saree. I always tell my American friends dressing Indian saree is the best option. I’ll show them your picture
Keep writing…
27. April 2008 at 1:31 pm
I just wanted to echo Babu’s comments; I’ve been noticing a few sites about inter-cultural relationships but am struck with just how overwhelmingly insightful and positive your site (and its visitors) tend to be. What a refreshing and wonderful point of view… keep it up!
28. April 2008 at 1:56 pm
I stumbled upon this blog while reading the comments for the Sepia Mutiny internarriage post – haven’t had a chance to read the older posts but am looking forward to it. I was honestly thinking of starting such a blog myself dedicated to the same topic!!! I am a white American Hindu woman(although some, like priests at certain discriminatory mandirs in India/Nepal, see those things as mutually exclusive:-() married to a Nepali Hindu man. Your wedding photos are gorgeous!!! Ours was much smaller and simpler by comparison but very traditional. I am sure I will be hanging around here frequently – would love to share pics
28. April 2008 at 2:03 pm
LOL at the eating rice with hands – it is a difficult skill to master, especially when you eat like Nepalis do and mix all the rice and soupy dal and taarkari together beforehand. As far as I can see the trick is to use your thumb to push the rice etc. in your mouth, no slurping, but I still make a mess of it, especially seeing as I am left-handed!!! My ILs always take pity on me and ask if I want a spoon but I try to soldier on Nepali style even if it takes me twice as long to eat – one of these days I will get the hang of it…
29. April 2008 at 4:16 pm
Thanks everyone for the compliments!
@ CaliforniaTransplant – sorry that you can’t find a veil – I’d offer to ship you mine (what the heck am I going to do with a bright gold veil w/ butterflys??), but I doubt your future in-laws would want you to use it. At least with mine, “new everything” was the order of the day. Oh, and bindis are so much fun – that’s my standing order for anyone who’s going to India: bring me back a couple of packs of bindi.
@ Sasha – thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy the blog!
@ Babu – I’m glad you’re enjoying my stories. Saris *are* really elegant, but I can imagine some woman would feel uncomfortable in a garment so different from what they’re used to.
@ Gumby – thanks for the compliment! I try my best!
@ PattuRani – glad that you had a chance to stop by! I’d love to hear your story and/or see your pics (I’m always up for a guest post too!). I have a couple of friends who are Nepali – they paint gorgeous pictures of their native land. I take it you’ve visited there? And I do believe that the way you describe is the proper way to eat rice with your hands, but I always end up either dribbling rice & curry, or with my fingers halfway in my mouth – not pretty.
2. May 2008 at 9:22 am
Gori, that’s so sweet to offer your veil – I actually think I’ve managed to locate a maroon dupatta which will match my sari really well. But thank you anyway! And you’re right about the “new everything” custom, my future sister-in-law basically told me the exact same thing.
30. May 2008 at 10:36 pm
My wedding veil arrived today from India, and it’s beautiful. Gori, thank you for putting your wedding pic up and inspiring me to go get one.
17. September 2008 at 1:58 pm
You look amazing!
I’m about to do this in Lucknow, just found out the date is Dec 12th. My guy and I were just laughing w/ friends that we should have a website up for it. LOL, just proves all good ideas have been thought of before!
13. May 2009 at 5:39 pm
Is that your mom eating with her hands in the first picture? That's pretty cool.
13. May 2009 at 6:03 pm
Yup – she really enjoyed it!