During their travels in India, my uncle and mom really enjoyed eating with their hands, as you can see from the photo above. This is the traditional way of eating in India… but not all Indians are perfectly traditional. If you look closely at my husband, Aditya, pictured on the right, you’ll notice he has a fork on his plate, since he doesn’t care to eat rice with his hands. I, too, have a fork – you can just see it spearing some delicious chicken in the far right of the photo. I’m using a fork because when I try to eat rice with my hands, I end up with some on my lap, down my blouse, and somehow in my hair – it’s just not pretty.
The photo of my family chowing down demonstrates the two main things you need to know about eating Indian food: it’s traditionally done with your hands (mostly the right hand actually – more on that in a bit) AND it’s okay to not be traditional. If you’re uncomfortable eating with your hands, then don’t. No one will look down on you, or think less of you if you ask for silverware.
However, for those of you interested adventuring outside of Western-style table manners, I have a few hard-learned tips and tricks to help you chow down politely.
One: The Left Hand Taboo
The only strict, do-not-break rule of eating in India is to only use your right hand to touch any food. In India, like in many other non-Western countries, the left hand is considered unclean – a conclusion which follows logically enough from its typical use in the bathroom.
Your highest goal should be to avoid any use of you left hand once the meal starts – consider it superglued to your lap or the side of the table, if you can. In practice, just keep from touching any actual food or a communal bowl with your left hand. Of course there’s a bit of a trick to this: what do you do when you’ve got bits of sauce and bread crumbs stuck to your right hand, and you need to grab your water glass or some more lamb from the pot?
The answer is that it, well, depends. The best option is to wipe your right hand on your napkin – that’s what it’s there for after all! If your hand is seriously coated with your curry, you might try wiping it on your bread first, both to save the delicious sauce and keep your napkin from being soaked through. If a napkin isn’t an option, or you need a drink right now because the lamb vindaloo is burning through your tongue, it’s okay to grab your glass with your left hand. Do try to avoid using the serving spoon with the left hand, though. If you do, well, c’est la vie – give a quick “oops, sorry” to the table, and leave it at that. Generally, as a non-Indian you shouldn’t worry much about committing a minor faux-pas like that. If you can avoid touching actual food with your left hand you’re doing well.
Two: Dealing with Bread
North Indian meals – and to a lesser extent, other areas of India – typically include some sort of bread as a staple ingredient. There are many types of Indian bread, ranging from very fluffy naan to heavy, flat paratha (which is often stuffed with vegetables or cheese, making it even heavier and more delicious). The main function of the bread is as a barrier between your hand and the piece of meat or vegetable you’re picking up. It is also useful for sopping up any stray sauce you may have on your plate.
The main difficulty for non-Indians in using bread is in tearing off a proper-sized piece to use. Remember the no-left-hand rule? It’s still in effect here***, so you’ll need to tear the bread using only your right hand. The secret is to pin the larger portion of the bread to your plate by planting down your ring and pinkie fingers, then use your thumb and other two fingers to tear away all the bread up to the two planted fingers. This takes practice, particularly if you have tiny hands like me. Get too much, and, well, you won’t be able to stuff it into your mouth. Get too little (my usual problem) and you won’t be able to pick up much more than a pea.
Once you’ve secured a good-sized piece of bread, use it to scoop up some food and sauce. Think of the motion as either a shovel action, or, if you prefer, the way you’d pick up something with a tissue. It’s okay if you get some sauce on your fingers: just lick it right off (but don’t make a production of said licking), or use a napkin. Some breads are easier to work with than others: I find both roomali roti (handkerchief thin bread), and paratha quite difficult to manage, both in tearing and scooping. If you’re having problems, just keep on trucking – it gets easier with practice.
Part II of how to eat Indian food will be up in a couple of days – we’ll be tackling my nemesis, eating rice with your hand, among other things.
***Actually, Aditya’s brother (Dada) uses both hands to tear his bread because, as Aditya puts it, “he’s a lazy bum”. It’s better if you don’t do this – however, if times get desperate, consider excusing yourself (“I know I’m not suppose to use my left hand, but I just can’t tear this naan…”) and go for the gusto.
11. March 2008 at 10:20 pm
Couldn’t you ask for a fork and knife and use it to cut your bread?
I am absolutely in love with Indian food. I even eat it with my hands occasionally (not to be traditional, but because I pulled the leftovers straight from the fridge and am too famished and the stuff is making me drool too much to get to a fork in time.) And it’s usually even with my right hand only, since my left is holding the container.
11. March 2008 at 11:39 pm
Most types of Indian bread aren’t easily cut with a fork & knife – think thin round pieces, something like fluffy pita or tortillas or crepes (depending on the type). While it wouldn’t be bad manners to try to cut it with a knife, I bet most Indians would find it really amusing. Some of the heavier breads, such as paratha (similar to a pancake in texture), could be manageable that way, though.
I, too, love Indian food, and eat it absolutely any chance I get. I gained at least four pounds on our trip to India.
27. March 2008 at 2:12 pm
next time try this. it is much easier to use the heel of your hand to hold the bread down and tear it with your fingers. How much you curve your palm and where you grab the bread makes it much easier to control the size of the tear
27. March 2008 at 2:19 pm
I believe the traditional way of tearing indian bread is by holding down the bread with your index finger [index finger should be orthogonal to the plate] – and then gripping a corner/side with your thumb and middle finger – then TUG!
31. March 2008 at 12:30 pm
I’ve found that it helps to fold the bread before you tear it, at least with thin-ish stuff like rotis. Kind of like how folding paper first makes it tear straight.
31. March 2008 at 7:19 pm
Hey guys – Thanks for stopping by the blog AND for leaving good tips! I’m a rather dextrously-challenge person (if you didn’t guess already from the rice comment), so it’s helpful to try out different ways of tearing bread.
I’m hoping to get the next part of this series up soon!
2. April 2008 at 4:15 am
Hi GG……stumbled on your delightful blog via DesiPundit.
As for eating with the right hand…..don’t sweat it if you are a left hander, like I am. I have never had anyone making funny faces at me because I use my left hand while chowing down. And this includes time I spent holidaying in my ancestral village in Haryana (and folks there are pretty traditional!!)
8. April 2008 at 6:53 pm
@ umraojaan – thanks for stopping by here! I’ve heard that if you’re left-handed you can just switch all the rules from right to left, but I’ve never seen it done in practice. Interesting that you’ve had no problem doing that, even in a village setting! However, I’ve been told by Aditya that his father, at least, would find this impolite, so I need to keep practicing using just my right hand.
Where’s Haryana, by the way?
28. April 2008 at 3:31 pm
Where’s Haryana, by the way?
>>>Its just north west to Delhi. Borders Delhi. Small state.
28. April 2008 at 3:35 pm
And BTW rules do change and while many people will find it impolite to eat with left hand(rather with hand you do your stuff with in toilet) many wouldnt have much issues with it. Also i think the rules needs to get more flexible now. It was fine in the olden days when we didnt have soap to wash hands with.
28. April 2008 at 8:03 pm
I always thought it was just in Muslim countries that people only ate with their right hands. But we still use both hands to put food in our plates, and to tear our roti/ other breads, etc.. It’s just when we actually put our food in our mouth, we need to use our right hand.
29. April 2008 at 4:01 pm
@ Vick: I agree that the rules do change – certainly, the younger Indian crowd Aditya & I run with don’t really care about the right hand thing. But it’s a good thing to know – sorta like which fork to use at a formal dinner.
@ Cio_cio_san: I’ve heard of various “right hand only” rules in other cultures (like Ethiopian), so I think it might just be a rule developed for good sanitary practices wherever people eat with their hands.
9. September 2009 at 9:40 am
Gori Girl I love it!! It’s so funny to see things from a Gore’s perspective in India, though to be fair, I’m probably going to be as Gora as you once I ever make it back to India, having been born and raised in the UK
As far as I know, the rules that go with eating meals tends to be right hand only, when it comes to putting the food into your mouth. With our family, we were always allowed to use both hands when tearing our nan’s and our rotis.. In fact, I think I’ve only very rarely seen anyone eat with just one hand, and then I usually watch them and think how cool are they, especially cos I could never do that!
Though I must admit because we have extended family still in India, and we’re from the ‘West’ we were treated like royalty on the only trip we did as kids, and so no body minded how we ate, they were just so happy to see us
Look forward to reading more about your awesome adventures in the coming months
13. January 2010 at 3:53 pm
As a blind woman, I am still grappling with tearing and scooping. I thought it was my lack of sight: but fiancee is blind also, so can’t be. I usually tear a piece that is too big and end up hogging all of the naan. Still working on eating right! (smile)
21. January 2010 at 3:40 pm
I think it’s one of those things that just takes time & practice. I’ve gotten much better at since I wrote this post.
14. February 2010 at 10:48 pm
These rules do change somewhat depending on where in India you go. In my traditional Gujarati family, using the right hand for a water glass or a communal serving spoon is actually considered dirty, since you use it for your food, and napkins are not usually used during a meal. North Indian families tend to follow the rules you stated, with the napkin and the right hand for the water glass etc.
Also, as for the naan, roti, etc., many people use the three furthest fingers to hold the bread and the index finger and thumb to pull/rip it. But to be honest, as long as you’re ripping the bread (not rolling is up like a burrito) and and actually putting the piece in your mouth with your right hand, it’s okay if you use both hands to make the pieces. Don’t worry yourself too much.
24. April 2010 at 5:45 pm
Refreshing read! Didnt realize there were there so many aspects that I took for granted
To add to the mix: In south india (at least in my village), the right hand is only used for the food on your plate. You would still use the left for water, serving yourself or to pass dishes around. But chances are, if you are invited over, you’ll always have the hostess serving you.. that leaves only the water for the left hand.
As a leftie I have fond memories of being repeatedly rapped on the head for serving guests with my left hand
(The hosts will always serve with the right)
13. July 2010 at 2:11 am
hi this is Singh i am in australia right now and love my country but i am scared of getting back b-coz of all coruption in every field of life even in food as well