Comments on: Guess Who’s Coming to Diwali? http://gorigirl.com/guess-whos-coming-to-diwali intercultural relationship stories and advice Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:22:04 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.3 By: Gori Girl http://gorigirl.com/guess-whos-coming-to-diwali#comment-2616 Gori Girl Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:59:46 +0000 http://gorigirl.com/guess-whos-coming-to-diwali#comment-2616 I think they'd appreciate the gesture, Kay. Diwali isn't a strongly religious holiday - in fact, it's often considered a secular holiday in India. I think they’d appreciate the gesture, Kay. Diwali isn’t a strongly religious holiday – in fact, it’s often considered a secular holiday in India.

]]> By: Kay http://gorigirl.com/guess-whos-coming-to-diwali#comment-2542 Kay Fri, 02 Oct 2009 21:20:08 +0000 http://gorigirl.com/guess-whos-coming-to-diwali#comment-2542 My boyfriend is a punjabi hindu born in the us to parents who were born and raised in India and I am white...his mom has always been nice to me and doesn't seem to have a problem with me being white...i bought diwali cards and i was going to write one out to his parents...do you think they would find that wierd coming from a white christian girl? My boyfriend is a punjabi hindu born in the us to parents who were born and raised in India and I am white…his mom has always been nice to me and doesn’t seem to have a problem with me being white…i bought diwali cards and i was going to write one out to his parents…do you think they would find that wierd coming from a white christian girl?

]]> By: NeoKalypso http://gorigirl.com/guess-whos-coming-to-diwali#comment-331 NeoKalypso Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:44:55 +0000 http://gorigirl.com/guess-whos-coming-to-diwali#comment-331 Oh Gori, this was just wonderful dialog to read! I really love how the opinions vary from "The guy just needs to grow a pair!!" to being understanding, even sometimes submissive, to what the parents think. Heh hem, as always, I'm somewhere in between on the telling the parents issue. A lot of good points brought up highlighting the spectrum of choices couples have in dealing with this issue. A reg flag went off when I read the comment about using the Japanese principle of Kaizen: I liked Pru's advice and the comments from other presumably white people were also thoughtful. However, I would say from my own experience - that the first option to try is gentle persistence. Confrontation is a viable but last option. First of all take courage, the problem is not insoluble. Start talking about your significant other, bring him/her into the conversation as if it was the expected and natural thing. Next arrange a meeting at a non-emotional, neutral time and place - a meal out, an Indian concert. To prepare youself read a book about the Japanese principle of KAIZEN - how to conquer a problem with relentless, small steps. This has TOTALLY been R's approach!!! Sometimes I get all antsy pants with it because I'm more of an impatient "speed boat" but I do see his ways making slow and significant progress.. Ahh yes---another lovely point made Gori: there are many ways in which couples can show caring, concern, and respect for one another considering this sensitive matter...it's up to all of us to figure out what will work best for ourselves and our partners. Oh Gori, this was just wonderful dialog to read! I really love how the opinions vary from “The guy just needs to grow a pair!!” to being understanding, even sometimes submissive, to what the parents think. Heh hem, as always, I’m somewhere in between on the telling the parents issue. A lot of good points brought up highlighting the spectrum of choices couples have in dealing with this issue.

A reg flag went off when I read the comment about using the Japanese principle of Kaizen:

I liked Pru’s advice and the comments from other presumably white people were also thoughtful. However, I would say from my own experience – that the first option to try is gentle persistence. Confrontation is a viable but last option.

First of all take courage, the problem is not insoluble. Start talking about your significant other, bring him/her into the conversation as if it was the expected and natural thing. Next arrange a meeting at a non-emotional, neutral time and place – a meal out, an Indian concert. To prepare youself read a book about the Japanese principle of KAIZEN
- how to conquer a problem with relentless, small steps.

This has TOTALLY been R’s approach!!! Sometimes I get all antsy pants with it because I’m more of an impatient “speed boat” but I do see his ways making slow and significant progress..

Ahh yes—another lovely point made Gori: there are many ways in which couples can show caring, concern, and respect for one another considering this sensitive matter…it’s up to all of us to figure out what will work best for ourselves and our partners.

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