I was really into ethnographies in high school because I was a huge nerd. My 10th grade English class read “Guest of the Sheik” about living in Iraq in the 50s, and after that I was really intrigued. I guess that is how my interest in other cultures began!

Here is an excellent book to read, it was a part of our study course work. I finished it in one week…it was impossible to put down once you started.

The title is: Nisa, the Life and Words of a !Kung Woman.

http://www.amazon.com/Nisa-Life-Words-Kung-Woman/dp/0674004329

“How do you handle all the social obligations of an Indian wife?”

From my previous post, again I’d like to bring the question up, and ask more specifically,
That the Indian bahu is “supposed” to do a bunch of stuff like cook, clean, wash, entertain the guests, manage social life etc. etc etc. Its all voluntary though, no pressures in modern day families.

How;s your “Bahurani” experience been like? Do you guys do all of that?

If YES then, any idea where I can get myself a similiar bahu? U guys got some cute friends?

……6-2 fair, punjabi, “America Returned” nanotechnology scientist seeks ……

Cheers,
LF.

Your blog and comments are awesome and much appreciated.

Please do jump in. Again, Indians usually find it insulting if their boundaries have NOT been violated obscenely in the name of togetherness and community. (:D). None have been violated here I assure you.

I saw your blog as well, and found it to be really nice. I did see the mention of upstate New York, and it reminded me of my own alma mater of RPI, Troy, NY.

Its good to know that you enjoy Indian visitation habits and have started adapting them as well.

Have you learnt to take things with a pinch of salt as well?
Are you able to relate to the quintessential South Asian “Chaltha Hai” attitude (Let’s wing it/everything goes!)?

I guess that is the true test of the adaptation of an american girl married to a South Asian guy. When she is able to “Chalao”/Wing things and circumstances better than the south asian S.O.

I hope you don’t mind me jumping in, this happens all the time at my house. Not as much as it used to because a lot of our friends are more established now in the community and don’t feel the need to drop by as often, but when we first moved I used to have people at my house 6 out of 7 days a week. It could get really exhausting. Most visits aren’t really planned, and I know there have been times when someone has rung our doorbell and I really didn’t want to answer, but they could tell we were home because the lights were on or something. I remember once or twice I stalled as long as possible before offering tea to a guest (almost to the point of being rude) because I knew if they had tea they would stay longer rather than just dropping in, saying hi and leaving, but eventually I had to offer (thats what the guest was looking for) or I’d look like a jerk.

I don’t mind the visits in general, and 85-90% of the time its totally fine and even welcome, but every now and then I wish we lived in the middle of the woods were it would be hard to find our doorbell

Likewise, I take full advantage of this, and feel no shame in dropping in on others who would do it to us. Even people in different states if I am driving by! I’ll call and give a 5 min heads up and say, “hey, are you home? I’ll come and have some tea!” Usually its really fun, and if I knew someone was driving through and didn’t stop by I’d probably be a little sad.

I am very curious to know about relationship dynamics in your Indian American Household, with regards to the cultural differences in customs in India and America.

More specifically,

In India, people invite each other over and unexpectedly drop in and hang out and do things together. In the US its more planned, and
“khatirdari” is less common in this DIY land.

How does it work in your family?

How do you handle all the social obligations of an Indian wife?

Cheers.
LF.

maybe babies just make labial sounds first in all languages, and like the comic says, parents think they’re talking about them, and so they socialize the little ones to associate those sounds with mom and dad… another way language shapes culture, although it’s usually the other way around.

Here is an article I wanted to write about this week but didn’t have the time. It is about Somalis that are being trafficked and then abandoned in Nepal. It seems like a random place to bring people too… but I guess it is a growing problem. The Somalis think they are paying to be taken to Europe and wind up stuck in Kathmandu.