http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/840/Indian-Carrot-Pudding80892.shtml

samosas, pakoras, aloo tiki, some kibabs, Buttered chicken, tandori chicken were all great.
There are some spices that are too much for me.
I admit that I can't eat "hot."
Yet, when I go out to mexican restaurants and am with others who "can't stand hot," I tend to find their tastes bland.
So, I guess that "yes," you can learn to like certain foods.
But, don't try to eat something that you don't like.
You might try spicing it down.
Hey, last time I went to an Indian Restaurant, I had "Mughlai chicken." I think that this is the way that it was spelled.
It was not spicey and quite good.
(LuckyFatima talked about it --- and I thought that I found a gem that was cooked in Pakistan/India). --[smile]

There was also a chicken dish with cashews that was particularly tasty.
You know, I don't know if it was just the ppl that I was with:
But, we all ordered something different and shared/tasted everything. My hosts, a wonderful couple (with their four children) suggested it and seemed to have a great time.
One point for communal eating.
 And, you can make cucumber mint salad,  which is like cucumber raita,  which is good.
some of the salads might have a bit of ginger in them, but are good.
I think that what first threw me is having a dessert or sweet that smelled like perfume: (Quera and/or rosewater).
I still have a hard time eating it.
But, I love Jalebis and a nut carrot halwa something which I wish that I could learn to make  -- if I only remembered the name.
(ok, I am bad at spelling). I can't see the menu, so don't know how they are spelled.
Hey, what about parathas (can't go wrong with them). Although, I don't find them in restaurants, only at stores unless you are ambitious enough to make them yourself. My particular favorite is the aloo paratha (potato paratha).

Note:
I took my daughter to  an Indian restaurant when Imran was visiting.
On the way out we had those wonderful ani seeds.
My daughter and her BF hated them and were trying to get the taste out of their mouths all night.
But, I love that black liquorice  taste. I am thinking about getting my own "Ani seed dispenser."

What, specifically are you looking for that you can't find? A lot of things are specifically Indian so I couldn't help there (like Coffee Bite - never heard of it) but otherwise I can tell you if I've seen it anywhere I shop.

I hadn't been keeping eggs at home for a few months after it got out that some egg factory farms just throw male chicks into a grinder (*shudder*), but recently began buying them again...I'm thinking of switching to a local farmer, though. My main reason for eating them at home is a quick, low-cost, low-calorie meal...we're trying to get into cooking large batches on the weekends and freezing them for whenever, though, so that might eliminate that need.

DJain said:

I had to laugh at that. It's funny how in the US, many people think of fish or shrimp, or even meat broth, as vegetarian.

That is one of my biggest pet peeves... people who consider fish as veg. I just don't get it at all. Fish was the first meat I stopped eatting back when I was 5 or 6 years old, and it bothers me when someone goes out of the way to make a "veg" meal for me and it is fish because a lot of "veg" people will still eat fish and perpetuate the confusion :( I always thought... you kill the fish to eat it, so doesn't that make it meat?

I guess there could be other veg's out there who could be equally bothered by the fact that I consider myself veg but eat eggs. Eggs never used to bother me to eat, but recently I read Jonathan Safran Foer's book "Eating Animals" and I've already decided to switch from store bought eggs to eggs from a local "hobby" farm that someone at work owns. I just never really thought about the conditions on factory farms for egg laying hens could be so bad.

Anyway... SJTP good for you for going veg. If you ever need moral support let me know! :)

- dal (use red lentils/masoor dal -- it cooks in about 20-30 minutes. http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/E.....etail.aspx)

- pav bhaji or sai bhaji (boil together a bunch of veggies and add in part of a spice packet. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/p.....etail.aspx)

- uppama (veggies and sooji/farina/cream of wheat -- it takes about 15 minutes.  http://www.recipesource.com/et.....c0165.html)

- cucumber-chutney sandwiches (my MIL's recipe -- slather bread with coriander chutney and mayo, top with sliced cucumbers and cheese)

- sabudana khichdi (tapioca pearls - requires a couple hours of soaking, but the actual prep time is only a few minutes. http://www.indianfoodforever.c.....ichdi.html)

- tomato "omlette" (with besan instead of eggs. http://www.aayisrecipes.com/20.....egetarian/)

- paneer bhurji (scrambled paneer. http://www.indianfoodforever.c.....hurji.html)

- kalingad ghavan (watermelon rind pancakes, but you can make them with other veggies. I've never tried the sweet version in this recipe, but the savory version is delicious. http://food-forthought.blogspo.....cakes.html)

Now I'm making myself hungry!  

One thing I forgot to mention yesterday about his mom being here was that my husband convinced his mom, who eats a very strict Jain diet, to eat onions, garlic, and potatoes while she is staying here with us (she normally doesn't eat them, although the rest of his family usually does). It made it easier for us to come up with meals we could all enjoy, and she really enjoyed it too. I think she felt compelled to go without them again when she got back to India but she enjoyed them while she was here.

Sjtp, you'd be surprised, but you can cook your own Indian food from scratch much, much cheaper than the frozen meals or even than many western dishes. I'm talking pennies per serving, if you cook dal or chickpeas or beans and serve them with rice and homemade chapattis. Other cheap veggies we like are cabbage, or frozen veggies (that are often on sale, so a buck per bag or less) like spinach, peas, cauliflower, etc. Poha is also a cheap meal for breakfast or a quick dinner. These are all things that we ate for the past 5 years as my husband was going through grad school and we were also on a very tight budget.

Our day-to-day eating is pretty easy now...we tend to like things cooked differently, but we've found some compromises we both like (and it means that under- or over-cooked pasta comes out "his" style or "my" style, so no true mistakes hehe). We don't cook much Indian food because we're poor and busy grad students, but we keep finding new frozen foods at the local Asian/Indian stores. The latest finds are frankie-like hot pockets (can't remember their real name, brand is Babu something) in flavors like paneer tikka and palak paneer (probly some non-veg also). We also just tried a veg dosa frozen food today that came out pretty well, and we've done some canned tikka sauces that come out reasonably well. Nothing like going to his family's for dinner, though!

When his mom was staying with us for several months, we ate non-veg only if it was something at a restaurant, or if it was something like a Lean Cuisine meal that we could quickly heat up and eat. We did cook and eat eggs with her in the house, and a few times when she went for her morning walk and my husband couldn't stand it any more, he'd open all the windows and turn on the fans to quickly cook and eat some bacon (heh). But mostly we didn't want to subject her to the smell of meat, which turns her stomach-she knows we are not veg and doesn't try to push it.

When Manmohan Singh was visiting there were all these stories in the news about the State Dinner and they were describing the "vegetarian" menu that included shrimp. I had to laugh at that. It's funny how in the US, many people think of fish or shrimp, or even meat broth, as vegetarian. I'd be curious to hear what the Indian visitors' reaction was to the "vegetarian" menu. My husband scoffed when I told him about it.

Subcontinental Muslims tend to be more insistant than other Muslims about eating Islamically slaughtered meat ONLY, this meat is called zabihah halaal meat. So many Arabs I know eat meat from the American grocery store…I won't go deeply into the reasons for eating zabihah halaal-only among desis, it has to do with adherence to religious interpretation about what is considered permissible to eat, and IMHO a common desi penchant for sticking to ritual purity rules, as I know of desi Muslims who drink alcohol and never pray but only ever buy zabihah halaal meat. Anyway, this relates to your post on diet issues because if you are a Muslim who is open to American grocery store meat, or perhaps a non-Muslim married to a zabihah halaal only eating Muslim desi, you also have to make adjustments: zabihah meat is widely available in big cities, but if you are not in a big city you may have to drive on special trips to get it in a major city, or often groups of people will buy an animal from a local farm and slaughter it and share it…if you are the cook at home you have to know how to clean and chop up the meat from the farm and this is something many Americans aren't used to with our American penchant for meat without any signs that it belonged on an animal (i.e. our boneless, skinless chicken breasts and square cleaned fish filets and such), also this zabihah only thing limits your dining out as your partner will only eat veg. and seafood (and extra bad luck for you if your partner follows a school of Islam that disapproves of many types of seafood and you don't believe in following this yourself), also your partner will require special foods at your family gathering (I know of friends who bring a halaal turkey to their parents' Thanksgiving dinner). My husband eats American grocery store meat and eats whatever my family serves (no pork or alcohol of course), but this is a major issue if there is a conflict in what is okay to eat.

As far as the veg. thing, I know so many Hindu couples where the wife doesn't eat meat and the husband does. She still cooks meat for her man, but abstains herself, or some family members eat meat and others don't and it gets cooked in separate vessels. Then there are those who wouldn't think of having meat in the house. I have some neighbors who always send us snacks and things when they cook something special, but they cannot eat what we send to them because we are Muslim and we cook meat in our vessels, due to ritual purity issues. I respect this and appreciate that they think of us and send us food, anyway. 

I think if you choose to go veg., more power to you, though, and you shouldn't worry about others thinking that you have adapted too much or given up too much. Honestly, I could eat Indian veg. foods everyday and never miss meat. But I see how this becomes a problem when you are settled in the US and also with the other issues you guys have described above.

My FIL is ovo-lacto-veg, although he only recently added the ovo when he finally came to terms with the fact that he'd been eating eggs in cakes and pies all along. He's the only one in the immediate family who is.

Anyway, we don't really have to deal with the issues of having people make us special meals when we visit them, but I can relate to the meal planning and recipe substitution issues. I know you said you don't like fake meat, but have you tried seitan? I make "chicken" stew, pot pie, and shepherd's pie with seitan, and you really can't tell the difference when it's all chopped up and mixed in with veggies and gravy. It's my go-to dish when I feel like having meat and potatoes. These chickpea cutlets are also good for feeling like you're having meat: http://www.chow.com/recipes/11364. I made them with a dijon cream sauce a couple of weeks ago and they were awesome.

I recommend Madhur Jaffrey's World Vegetarian cookbook for ideas. It has a whole bunch of recipes from all over the place -- East Asia, Latin America, Europe, the Carribean, and of course India. I use it at least once or twice a week for inspiration, and it's really helped expand my vegetarian recipe repertoire.

1. He told me why veg was important to him, which included religion, respect for life, current economic conditions of farmers, treatment of farm animals, environmental impact of farming, the resources required to raise meat versus veg (you can feed more people by growing corn than by growing corn and then using the corn to grow animals). With the exception of religion (Christians usually interpret Genesis as saying to use animals in any way, although some interpret it as supportive of veg and environmental conservation), I agreed with all these points, and part of what I love about him is that these issues are important to him.
2. I had slowly weaned down to a few servings of meat a week, just by eating with him most of the time. When I visited home, I was a little sickened by the amount of meat I ate during meals with my family, which would have been normal for me just a few months prior.
3. Neither of us really know if he would have ended the relationship if I had not become veg. It's hard to know what a person can put up with and what they can't, which is why I become veg the night he told me his decision --- I wanted to give enough time to make sure I could do it before we decided to get married.
4. It turned out that my definition of "veg" was different than his. He is lacto-vegetarian (meaning he eats dairy products but not eggs), and I am ovo-lacto-veg (I eat eggs and dairy). Some consider seafood to be non-meat (I've never liked seafood, so I had no desire anyway). However, when I think of "meat," I think of "chunks." I didn't even realize that chicken rice-a-roni might not be considered vegetarian. He is very strict about things that include meat fat for flavoring or gelatin (comes from bones/hoofs), which includes most vegetable soups and marshmallows. We finally worked out that I will be "100%" (no gelatin or animal product of any kind) at home, because I do the shopping and know the products and am satisfied with our diet, but that when I am with friends or family at their homes, I will be "98%," meaning that I will not eat anything that visibly contains meat but I will also not scour the ingredients labels like I do in the stores. This was a very difficult compromise to work out (he felt like I was going back on my promise like his family said I would), but it came down to my need for control over my decisions and the fact that he assumed I knew what he meant by "veg" when I agreed.
5. I was much helped by a Gujarati veg woman who joined my class within a week after becoming veg. As the only veg (like when I'm with friends from undergrad or my family), it feels like I'm the "difficult" one or the one who gets forgotten, or it's a big deal to people to accommodate (which is very kind, but really, when I say I can easily make a PB&J if I need to, I mean it). With 2/6 being veg, we're remembered but it's just part of the normal routine.
6. I was VERY careful starting out. We did special shopping trips, which included lots of nuts and yogurt and other proteiny, easy-reach snacks...I knew that I would be very grumpy about being veg if I didn't feel full. At first, it was an adjustment, and I did need those little pick-ups when I felt a little light-headed...I really don't notice any difference now, so I'm not sure if it was in my head or if it really is an adjustment. Starting out with "indulgent" foods made the transition much softer for me, though, and I would recommend starting with lots of safe meals (like pizza, pasta, mexican) that you can easily remove the meat from.
7. I'm not a very accomplished cook, but what I did know how to cook included meat. This has also come up with my dealing with surprisingly strong feelings that I should be able to adequately fill my gender role (despite years of joking that I had to marry a man who could cook or my kids would starve). I'm slowly learning to cook, but even planning meals took a long time. We're still figuring out how to incorporate Midwestern foods I love without having that "meat" - mashed potatoes and vegetables on their own aren't very filling, but most options would make the meal overly starchy.
8. The way I eat has completely changed. I don't like most fake meats (except hot dogs on the grill, because the smokey flavor and ketchup cover all that's wrong!), but I eat SO MANY veggies that I never liked before. I've become a much more open eater, which I really like. I don't fall into the "chicken fingers and fries" routine, which has good and bad points - most "risky" restaurants use meats as their American safety food (which is a problem bc Abhai loves Middle Eastern food and I haven't quite warmed up to it), but I've also had amazing experiences with dishes I would never have tried before.
9. Going home isn't the same anymore. There's a loss there, a loss of communion and ease...they do special shopping for me, and sometimes the yogurt still has gelatin, or I end up eating very few meals at home and so they're "stuck" with the food they bought for me. I'm still working this one out...this Christmas I especially appreciated going to Abhai's family, because I can eat whatever I want there (spiciness aside).
10. I'm really happy with my eating habits right now. Genuinely. I never thought I would become veg, and I doubt I would have ever done it on my own, and I don't know if I would continue it if our relationship ended right now...but I'm still very happy. I've only missed it a few times, and that's usually been because there weren't good veg options where I was (and because Panera puts chicken stock in the broccoli cheese soup - jerks).