Gori Girl

First let me say hi and that I began reading Gori's site several weeks ago and have really enjoyed all of your stories. I'm from the dirty south lol Mississippi, and last May happened upon my now husband, who was here visiting. I really never believed in love at first sight but I did after I met him. After being together for only 2 months he had to return to India (B1/B2) and we talked twice a day for the next 7 months. I had tons going on in my life at the time and he was like a steady rock for me, always making me believe that everything would be ok. I jave two children, ages 3 and 6 from my first marriage and because of them I could not move to Indian so he came back and we married in March. I had to put up quite a fight at that time. Yes, slot of what you hear about the south is true and my dad and ex husband went nuts. But my dad and I have never been close and obviously I'm not worried about the ex husband. The rest of my family and friends where just glad to see me finally happy. My children adore him, most of the time! He does like to play with them by way of harassing them. After we got married we began the immigration process, and I'm proud to say I did all of it myself and we had our interview 2 weeks ago and he was approved for the 2 year PR. He got his EAD approx 1 1/2 months ago. And here lies the problem. I am a RN and have worked 2 jobs since we married in order to sippet is and pay for all the immigration fees. Its been a struggle, some times I work 28 days straight and I sleep about 4 to 5 hours a night. I never complained or resented him that I was providing the only income BC I knew he would help if he could. I truelt love him like crazy and any sacrifice that I made was worth it because we had each other. He got his first job and quite after3 days because he had to cook beef and they didn't give him a smoke break. Come to find out, he later told me his mother told him to quit because she was scared he might burn himself. I won't get into how upset I was, it just seemed immature and inconsiderate to me being that he knew it was starting to put a big strain on our finances. He did get another job about 2 weeks later and likes it. His card has not arrived in the mail and the DMV here won't let apply for a license he has it. So I drive him to and from work, sometimes he works until 1am and I happily get up and drive 15 miles to get him. Ygr first time he got paid he "gave" me his check which I deposited in our joint account that he has a debit card and checkbook for. The next week he told me he didn't get paid BC he was now going to be paid biweekly. Well this Friday when he got paid he had to admit to me that he did get a check the week before and sent the entire amount to his 23 year old sister in India. I know he deeply loves his mother sister and wants to send them money. But this hurt me so much. First of all he lied. Second, how can he do that knowing I'm headed towards a financial crisis? He then told me he plans to send her every other check. I really don't know what to do. We honestly cannot afford to do this right now but its like he doesn't care what we have or don't have as long as she is satisfied. I cannot help but resent her for asking him knowing that I work so hard and she has never nor will she ever work. I don't want to seem mean or selfish I don't have a problem with him sending her money once we are caught up. After he was here for 2 days she called and asked for 150 dollars to buy a dress. If she needed necessities or was hungry I wouldn't hesitate but this seems a little spoiled to me. Now his solution is to move to new York and work so that can earn more and be able to give each of us half. I will not live alone without my husband for this. He says this is his culture but its also his culture that women are not allowed to work and he says he will never allow her to work. He hasn't minded watching me walk out the door going to work everyday. Please help me calm down and yet to get an understanding of what I should say or do. I don't want to ruin our marriage but I can't accept this right now.