Gori Girl

Hi Gori,

I found your website after you replied to a comment I made one of your flickr photos. I am so interested in your story and have loved reading your blog posts.

I have a few questions maybe you could answer, or try to.  First, my story.

I travelled to Bangladesh for four months of teaching english in the beginning of 2008. While there, I met a man named Martin. We spent time together alone, against my better judgement and Bangladeshi cultural norms. He and I got along very well. I met his family and ate a meal in their home. His father and I got along very well, his mother is a great cook and his siblings are so kind! He took time from work in Dhaka, the capital, to spend time in Dinajpur, his home town where I was working. We had a great time, spoke on the phone a lot and got along wonderfully.

After I left, he and I spoke on the phone a few times a week, then a few times a month, and now every few weeks or months. He has always been the one to call me. He always tells me I should return to Bangladesh and that he misses me and loves me (ami tumakay bhalo bashi). I've been thinking about going back, not 100% for him, but to teach or work there doing computer training with women and rural bangladeshis. I fell in love with the country, people and culture, and he "fell in love" with me.

I am somewhat wary of this because I have been asked, by multiple people, for financial aide because they assume I am rich. I am a student with hardly any savings. My white skin doesn't mean I have money. I'm scared that he thinks this way, or that he is taking advantage of me somehow.

I don't know what to think. I don't know how cultural differences could complicate this, plus distance, age, and the multitude of differences between us.

I have been pursuing opportunities to return to Bangladesh. He's not part of that decision for me. But if I did go back, he would be there. I could see myself falling for him. I'm worried that it would be because of the "other worldlyness" of it all and the dream-like state I might be in. I'm just confused as to how to handle it all. I'm also worried about how serious he is about me.

I guess there wasn't a real question there – but just general concerns about my relationship with this man. :) Thanks – keep updating :)