Gori Girl

Well, I'm not Indian but my fiance is, so I can't offer you the best advice. I understand how you feel where you want to tell your family.  It made me sooo sad that we had to be a secret so long. I was terrified I was going to be rejected and would lose the relationship I was so invested in and the man I loved.  I love thatyou feel more yourself with him and more indian. that's great. To me, you've found THE ONE!

But i'm american and that idea is very american, to be with the one, to be happy.  It sounds like you've made a lot of your own moves that are not typical for Indian women. I I would suggest you do what my own guy did, he slowly started talknig about me until one day, when he finally told them who I was, they already had figured it out a while ago and were just so overjoyed.

So I have a happy ending telling his parents, instantly happy, nothing bad… not even about being older, they wanted to respect me and not discuss it anymore than just trusting my fiance's decision to marry me. I know you might not have the same experience… it's going to just suck until you know.  It sucks worrying about the wave about to hit you.  It might just be simple. It might knock you down.  I wish I knew. But I know that we have stopped all major fights since they knew. I lost my fear of rejection and insecurities.

oh good luck. i know how hard it is.

I was in your shoes 11 yrs ago. I was 26 (born and raised in India) grad student in the USA and my parents were in India back then. I married my first wife and had my first son without even telling my parents or sister. I'm not proud of what I did. Under the circumstances, it felt like the right thing to do. At 26, I'm already away from my parents and my sister hacking it on my own and I felt that if my parents can trust me to do the right thing career & education wise, they can trust me to do the right thing in my personal life. My parents however are cool though. They have an excellent mix of Indian subjectivity and Western objectivity. My pulling that stunt, I'm sure took them by surprise but they were ok with it in the end.

Don't miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime (meeting the right person in your life) because of a reaction it will beget from the people you know. The former will outlive the latter. The people you know will eventually come to terms with whatever action you take. No real parents can hold a grudge towards their children for long. 

I don't have a politically correct solution for your situation, but all I can say that if you trust your gut, you will be fine. 

okay so I messed up on how to reply… SORRY!

I completely understand your situation. Ummm I am wondering just HOW traditional they are and how hard of a fight it is when you tell them you like to do things differently…My boyfriends family wont accept that he has taken on some of our western ideals and they wont accept that he isnt the same as them. I am not sure I can tell you what to do but I can give you an example of what has happened with us. I asked my boyfriend to tell his parents about us early as I didnt think it was fair to them to just show up oneday as engaged and not have them know we were dating. I also didnt like the idea of him lying to them all the time to see me. What they care about most seems to be presitge and status for him (money!!) and arent' too concerned about him being in love…anyhow! It has been a real hell for us dealing with all the terrible things they say to him and do to him. I dont regret it because I want to have an honest and open relationship, however I know he feels sometimes he wishes they didnt know because it makes his life hell. It really depends on how serious you are about marriage I guess. I'd write down the ways you guys are compatible and how you plan to do things like not one way or the other but both ways like a merging of the cultures. Maybe explain to them about how you respect the values you've been taught but feel your heart is leading you in this path and how happy you are with him. Whatever you decide be prepared for anything and everything and be strong for him and you. They will have to accept it eventually when they see how serious you two are and how much you are in love.