| User | Post |
|
9:29 pm
June 1, 2009
|
YP
| | |
| Guest
| |
|
|
Alright, since another poster kind of alluded to this elsewhere (Intimacy and Grabbing Issues), I'll bite the ball and run with it. (pun may or may not be intended  )
Without overstepping decent boundaries, have any of you noticed anything "different" in the bedroom with your Desi partners?
I've had a some Desi lovers and whenever asked this question by other women, always have to think about it. For me; yes and no.
Have any cultural taboos associated with various forms of sexual expression surfaced in your lives? They have in mine.
Anyway, its the topic we know we all want to broach, so now y'all have "permission" to indulge without having to be the one to start it.
|
|
|
8:04 am
June 2, 2009
|
please remove me
| | |
| Member | posts 23 |
|
|
Speaking from the perspective of a desi in (ex) relationship with a gori, I think she got me out of my sexual shell. Also, I don't think there is any aspect of the desi culture that would keep him/her from expressing themselves completely…in bed.
One of my desi friends, let it out in one of his boastful outburts that he always got his way in bed with his white girlfireind and I remember watching others (desis) express their disagreement with nodding heads.
Lastly, in desis there are a rainbow of 'types' of boys and girls. I can speak on behalf of my brethren in the north. One thing that I (and some other friends) got appreicated for was our holding and caressing during intimate moments…I hope I am allowed this transgression in my otherwise innocent post!, no?
I would be interested to know the taboos that got in your way…
|
|
|
9:36 am
June 2, 2009
|
YP
| | |
| Guest
| |
|
|
One of my desi loves came from a background in which or*l s*x was considered disgusting. Especially male on female.
Other than that, no complaints really. Some desi dudes can be very romantic and emotionally involved.
|
|
|
11:41 am
June 3, 2009
|
please remove me
| | |
| Member | posts 23 |
|
|
i have a strong feeling that his disgust originated from his notion of 'dirty' and 'clean' rather than his culture.
|
|
|
1:56 pm
June 3, 2009
|
YP
| | |
| Guest
| |
|
|
i have a strong feeling that his disgust originated from his notion of 'dirty' and 'clean' rather than his culture.
Yes, it was considered dirty, but the notions of clean and dirty came from his specific culture, and also his region.
But he was the only Indian bf I had with that issue. The others either never had it OR they may have had it but overcame it.
I'm sure India is not the only place on earth with that taboo. It was a taboo in USA too decades ago, but seems to have gained in popularity in the last 30 years. Now it seems – anything goes (thanks to the wide availability of porn). Which can also be problematic.
|
|
|
10:42 pm
June 3, 2009
|
please remove me
| | |
| Member | posts 23 |
|
|
ya i remember when i saw the 'problematic' stuff for the first time on video (aka porn) i freaked out big time. but that was because i couldn't imagine why on earth would the female be treated that way..
all this talk is getting me bothered 
|
|
|
9:45 am
June 4, 2009
|
YP
| | |
| Guest
| |
|
|
Shanulk, you bring up a good point.
The first time I saw this stuff was in India, in cyber cafes where I went to just check email. There would always be a computer with that stuff on it and 3 or 4 (or more) guys huddled around it.
I wondered then, "what to they make of us this and do they have a context for understanding it"?
Do they think this is how all white people "do it"?
I thought about the future women that would marry them. Would they expect to engage in this weirdness with her?
What do you think?
|
|
|
2:44 am
June 5, 2009
|
please remove me
| | |
| Member | posts 23 |
|
|
Post edited 2:47 am – June 5, 2009 by shanulk
theory leads to nowhere, learning is better in hit and trial (lpun? haha) and actual practical exposure.
the scenario u describe is quite common, i agree.
i think that in India there is still some ground to cover when it comes to experimentation. In the west you start of early in relationships and the gestation period (for lack of a good term!) between the first date and the date that 'goes all the way' is very small compared to the gestation period in India.
This phenomena offers 3 advantages to all people involved (1) there is low emotional cost involved in getting in a relationship in the west (2) there is greater scope of experimentation (3) there is low cost of getting out of a relationship.
As a result (actually, strategy consultants use 5 forces to define activity in markets, I have tried to draw an analogy to that), an individual in the west would end up with 5-10 partners typically before they get married for good. In India, this would be more like 2-5. The pent up frustration would manifest in terms of perverted behavior in extra marital relationships in India.
To offer a quicker opinion to your question, I think if the Indian indivdual (that you will get cosy with) has had fewer partners will consequently have a lower chance of putting sexual acts (in videos) in context. An experienced individual would have a better understanding of your needs and will be sensible in bed.
|
|
|
3:41 pm
June 6, 2009
|
DJain
| | |
| Member | posts 88 |
|
|
Hmm, interesting topic! My husband was, I think, not too different from most of his peers in undergrad–pretty inexperienced (although not completely), but he and his friends watched a LOT of porn. Oh man, the stories he tells of the college boys' hostels. Lots of guys who were virgins, but "desperate," as he called them. So he doesn't have any more hangups than any other guy, but 90% of his experience has been with me. He's a very passionate and romantic guy. And that's about as much as I want to say in a public forum.
|
|
|
12:17 am
June 7, 2009
|
YP
| | |
| Guest
| |
|
|
One good thing about inexperienced and desperate desi dudes is that they appreciate the experience and you don't have to worry about being compared to somebody else.
I guess thats why men have traditionally preferred to marry virgins? Well, me too! lol!
Plus, when they don't know anything you can always teach them. That means they end up thinking whatever turns you on is the correct way of having sex! Works for me. I always hated having to untrain a man who was set in his ways. Better to get a freshie and build 'em up from scratch!
|
|
|
7:10 am
June 7, 2009
|
please remove me
| | |
| Member | posts 23 |
|
|
Forgive this temptation to stereotype: Seems like ALL indian guys in engineering schools in India fall prey to pervertish porn movies. I remember in my school there used to be 'movie fridays' where the mess secretary used projector to play soft porn and, as the evening progressed, hardcore on the dining hall wall.
I have noticed that western people make rules about everything…for example, dance is supposed to be inspired by the spirit, not by rule books about matching steps with your partner with clockwork precision. I think sex is such a natural act, you don't need to learn or unlearn anything, it exposes a lot about individuals and indeed reflects the 6 billion unique personalities on the planet.
|
|
|
12:36 pm
June 7, 2009
|
YP
| | |
| Guest
| |
|
|
What?!?! Porn on the dining hall wall???? Staff actually allowed that?!
I'm shocked.
What did these engineering students make of the hardcore stuff? Where could they place this within the context of their own culture and life experience? I mean, do they think this is what awaits them on foreign shores? Are they even attracted to that?
Do Indians make hardcore porn? I know there is a lot of Desi soft porn, but what about hardcore weird stuff? I can't imagine. Even the Desi softcore I glimpsed on the net was boring.
I also can't imagine that Indian people by and large would be interested in doing BDSM stuff.
Well, on the other hand, there is a lot of submission and dominance just in regular day to day live in India…………. so………. hmmm.
Imagine one's saas breaking out the whip on the father-in-law!
Gives a whole new perspective on "Auntie ji".
|
|
|
9:36 am
June 8, 2009
|
please remove me
| | |
| Member | posts 23 |
|
|
Post edited 9:41 am – June 8, 2009 by shanulk
Staff actually carried in the projectors and then took the balcony seats 
Hmm, there was only one context for all of it – instant and cheap (temporary) gratification. I don't think any of us gave more than deserved relevance to it. One of my more vocal friends suggested that the actors might get strange virus after or*l without having thoroughly cleansed themselves. That analysis formed the basis of conversations that evening. And as I said before, we also felt that women could probably do without being treated that way.
The most adventurous of us all was a friend who ran to the closest 'jhuggi' or a hay hut, the occupant of the hut was (as rumors went) a labourer lady of easy virtue. His advances (probably negotiations) weren't rewarded that night; he was later found in another 'jhuggi' drunk on local alcohol.
The culture in the residential areas nearby was quite amusing. There were Auntie ji's (your post alluded to them!) called 'bodis' in the local tongue who were supposedly frustrated housewives. They were known to give the guy hosteler, who could afford to be deficient in the conscience, good food and dirty love  . In Kolkata, I and a friend were stopped by 'bodis' in a van – they asked us politely if we would like to join them. I remember refusing and feeling quite stunned and then later boasting about this to friends for a while.
There is some very crazy stuff going on in the cities and towns of India. In China town in Kolkata, for example, there is a hotel where you stick your tongue out and get stung by a snake, the poison is known to be a very virulent aphrodisiac 
|
|
Login 
Register 
Gori Girl Forums
Print this Post 
Topic RSS 
