@ Sachin: I thought about cutting the post into two, but I was too tired to bother. Glad you read through it all, though.

@ 6mile: You’re right that society causes us to form lots of our stereotypes – and it’s done so subtly that most of us never question them until faced with a person breaking the stereotype.

@ NeoKalypso: That sounds like a cool project – have you finished with it yet?

@ cagey: Interestingly, I’ve never thought of East Asians or South Asians as cheap, altho I know the stereotype exists. Aditya is certainly the one in our relationship who would win the “Who can spend more?” contest.

@ CaliforniaTransplant: “Cultural translator” is a great phrase – I may have to steal it at some point in the future.

@ Mirchi: sounds like that person on the net was a doofus. At least they help keep the world interesting… *eye roll*

@ Luaunna: I’m glad you stopped by, even if you’re not really in a culturally mixed relationship. I agree that there’s a big difference between someone who came to the US as an adult (like Aditya) vs. someone who came to the US as a kid or was born here but kept lots of the original culture (like NK’s R) vs. someone who is basically completely Americanized (like your guy sounds). Hope you can enjoy some of the amusing stories here, if nothing else. Oh, and I also agree that less exposure to other cultures can be highly correlated with easily/naturally generalizing & stereotyping.

@ Chanakya: thanks for the book recommendation – I’ll put it on my list.

@ tweedel dee: I’m glad that this post helped you. Let us know how things go with you, your parents, and your boyfriend.

I “met” someone online once who from snippets of information thought he had me and my husband completely figured out, from my husbands dominance, my submissiveness, levels of sacrifice, my inlaws and even political stance. Well, he didnt think he was doing it in a negative way, he was just wrong 100% on all counts and on top of that, found it hard to accept that he was wrong!

Hey Cagie,
I just broke your “generalization” hehe. My hubby isnt that into eating. But Im with you, Im definitely the FRUGAL one here and some people have a hard time wrapping their heads around that thought.

I also had a friend who was Christian(from India, of course) and had a Christian i.e. American sounding first and last name. He had people question his identity and even his ID!

@Gori: “Stereotypes focus on increasing the chasms between people, rather than making bridging the differences through understanding. Obviously, this sort of attitude does not bode well for intercultural communication and relationships.” I couldn’t agree more. I’m a librarian and know the value of categorizing information – it’s how we make sense of world, but I also know the short-comings of categorizing and generalizing. Very few things in life fit neatly into the categories we create, but without some means of organizing and grouping we’d be lost. It’s a delicate balance.

Getting to know my future in-laws has been a wonderful experience for me, and they have challenged many of the stereotypes that are often applied to Indian people. I’ve had a few moments where assumptions I have made have proved completely untrue. And they’ve confessed that they had assumptions about me that they discovered were untrue too. I’m glad we both were willing to look past generalizations and really get to know and appreciate each other as individuals. I give M a lot of credit for helping bridge the gaps and facilitate understanding. He’s a very good cultural translator.

On serious note, great post. Folks are always shocked when they discover that I am the cheapskate in the relationship and not my husband. Yet another stereotype blown to smithereens. Then, they find out that he is Catholic, does not have a lilting accent and does not bob his head to and fro. That is usually when their heads explode.

A lot of social stereotypes that exist in us are groomed by society.Like most people here associate Indians with Motels.On the other hand waves of socialistic and conservative governments has a liberal US portrayed in a negative way.

A positive generalization like – Marwadies are very entrepreneurial, is not gonna harm any one, but one the other problem starts when we making negative generalization. (aka Stereotypes)