Well, here’s a first for this blog – a giveaway! I was recently contacted by the publishers of Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship with the offer of a copy of the newly-published book to review – and five copies to give away to readers here. Of course, being the bibliophile that I am, I jumped at the chance. Details on the giveaway are at the bottom of the review.
Overall Impressions
I think that Your Intercultural Marriage is a good book – for the niche that the author, Marla Alupoaicei, is trying to serve: Christian intercultural couples. With over half of the pages mentioning Christianity, the Bible, or God, I am obviously not the target audience. Nonetheless, I did enjoy the book, and I found useful material in here that I believe could appeal to anyone. I’d highly recommend the book to any Christian intercultural couple whose faith is a large part of their lives. For the more general intercultural couples, this book would not be among my top selections but it’s worth a pick-up if you see it in your local library, or if you’re comfortable picking and choosing from what’s written to find valuable information for your situation. The first chapter of Your Intercultural Marriage can be downloaded here (pdf).
More Details on Your Intercultural Marriage
The book is broken down into twelve chapters: the first half focuses on general topics of interest to any (Christian) intercultural couple, with topics such as “Surviving (and Enjoying) Your Engagement, Wedding, and Honeymoon” and “Building Strong Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Skills”. The second half of the book discusses more specific concerns that intercultural couples often have: time-orientation, food, finances, children, and so forth. Each chapter starts and ends with a quote, and is followed by a suggested list of movies to watch (a feature which I fear will date the book in a few years time).
Alupoaicei’s breezy, friendly style of writing – with lots of pointers towards other resources and questions to consider on your own – gives her book a feeling similar to a well-edited blog. You aren’t going to find any deeply thought-provoking passages here (other than the quoted Biblical ones, perhaps), but you are going to find plenty of ideas that could lead to an ah-ha moment or a great discussion with your significant other.
The amount of information presented, while great, is also the book’s main weakness: with so much research and anecdotes from other sources (such as Romano’s Intercultural Marriage: Promises and Pitfalls) some chapters seem to have little of Alupoaicei’s own analysis, ideas, and self-reflection. However, other chapters, such as “Coming to Terms with Faith and Values” do pull together theoretical research, the author’s personal experience, list of questions, and the like to create a strong – albeit very Christian-oriented – chapter that will guide an intercultural couple through potential issues. I also appreciated the detailed chapter on intercultural marriage in the Bible, which I suspect could be particularly helpful if you have conservative (or bigoted) family members who believe that intercultural or interracial marriage are prohibited by God and/or the Bible.
Bottom line: If you are in the demographic Your Intercultural Marriage targets, I suspect that you’ll find this book pretty valuable. If you aren’t, the constant discussion of the Bible & Christianity could grate, but if you can look past it, then you’ll find some good information and fun stories of other intercultural couples. I came away satisfied with the amount I got for the time I gave the book.
Giveaway!
If you’d like to be entered into the giveaway contest for Your Intercultural Marriage, just leave a comment here by Friday morning, Eastern Standard - and include at least one fact or sentence about something intercultural, marriage, or book-related in your life in your comment. (Detailed & unique entries get bonus cool points, but everyone will have an equal chance to win.) I’ll draw the names randomly, and then contact you for shipping information if you win one of the copies of the book.
Disclaimer: I was provided with a free review copy of this book by the publisher.
18. August 2009 at 6:12 am
Intercultural relationships provide avenues of excitement and challenge and perspectives that would not occur in relationships of the same culture.
18. August 2009 at 7:37 am
Ha! I love the cover. My husband is South Indian and will sometimes lament the lack of good American food…but then we go to a really good burger place and he'll take it back.
Hey, that post included something intercultural, marriage, AND book-related!
18. August 2009 at 8:23 am
Hmm I would so love to get a chance to read the book
I'm going out with a Hindu guy and am Catholic…
18. August 2009 at 8:46 am
Intercultural relationships often have trying times but its very worth it to be with the one you love!
The book looks awesome!
18. August 2009 at 4:37 pm
Nah, I think I'll skip this one and pick up “Me and my Pagan Man” instead.
:):) I kid, I kid!
18. August 2009 at 9:33 pm
I love the book’s cover picture…I think the biggest cultural difference in our marriage (me, midwest girl, Hubs, South Indian boy) is food! Good thing I love to cook and have even had some of our Indian friends ask for MY Indian food recipes! What a compliment! Love your blog! I would really like to check this book out.
19. August 2009 at 11:45 pm
ohh what an awesome opportunity Gori Girl! I would be celebrating, your website reached a milestone!
21. August 2009 at 8:49 am
Okay, names have been drawn & email for shipping information has gone out. The giveaway is officially closed, but feel free to comment on the book (or anything else)
27. August 2009 at 9:52 am
Well, I’m too late for the giveaway, I’ll have to check it out. Here’s my sentence on our inter-cultural marriage: Sometimes it fits every cliche and sometimes it makes every cliche looks stupid and shallow.
So, sometimes the picture on the cover of that book would make me giggle, and sometimes would make me cringe. No telling which would happen when!
16. September 2009 at 2:23 pm
Gori Girl, Wow I am impressed that you have got this book from the publisher. Thanks for sharing it through your giveaway.
Finding a good cover image for this topic can be tricky. Honestly, If I saw the photo and not the title (as I do when I browse the book store racks) I would not get the topic from the photo. In fact I would think maybe Asian-American cuisine, hence would not be interested to pick up the book for the theme that it really has.
But none the less I will participate, better late than never!
Being in an obvious intercultural relationship where the two come from different countries, cultures, spiritual and culinary traditions is exciting and intimidating. It’s exciting everyday, but intimidating when one wants to ‘go back to their comfort zone’ which means memories from childhood. Reverting and combining with the way things are today is challenging, exciting, scary and helps us grow as individuals and together as couples. But, as Rachel says it gives a good feeling when others from your spouse’s cultural group tell you that you are ‘more…Indian’ (or whatever it is) then they are.’ It gives you a good feeling that you belong, but at the same time it is confusing as how can one not born into that culture be more of it than someone born into it? This is the constant journey that needs to be mapped out, and it can change as time passes.