Good luck to Gorigal, Aditya and rest of the lucky/ unlucky in love people

He makes decent money here and sends a big chunk home but he feels that it’s not enough. He has never told his parents or family about me.

I am also older than him and that is hard, but I have always been older than him and at first he said it didn’t matter.

I am hurt and confused. I don’t know if anyone can help me but it is good to have someplace to share. I wish I had found this site earlier.

IT is always good to know people in similar situations. Makes you feel so much better

I am from India and every few days you read of women being burned by their in-laws, jumping from high rises with their children as their only way out. And in all these instances, WITHOUT FAIL, the girls parents raise a hue and cry about how their daughter was being tortured by her husband/in-laws since marriage and that the perpetrators should be brought to justice. My question is…..what were YOU doing all this time with the knowledge that your daughter was being abused? Probably just giving her advice to “live with your kismat”. IT IS SO SO ANNOYING!!!!!!

I am of marriagable age and will be getting married one fine day and even though I have a successful career and am very much financially independent and capable of supporting a small village on my income, being an Indian girl, I know I just have to live with what my destiny has given me. If I were in the US or UK or any other country where being divorced is not akin to an uncurable pestilence, it would probably be a different matter. Being an Indian girl in India, divorce is not an option for me…..

Rightly said, “2% divorce rate does not mean that 98% of marriages are successful”.

So you see……..this is how things are….. But thankfully……not ALWAYS

in the end, whether we are together/apart, I will always always always cherish what we had..

Its perfectly reasonable. You Hema are the one coming out looking ridiculous.

Once I was asked by my Friend, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?”

I said, “You should share responsibilities with due love and
Respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.”

He asked, “Can you explain?”

I said, “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”

Still not convinced, Friend asked me “Give me some examples”

I said,” Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator , monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it”

He asked, “Then what is your role?”

I said,” My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire, etc etc and Do you know one thing,

My wife NEVER, EVER objects to any of these

On my father in law’s side of the family, 2 of his nephews married Caucasian American women, C annai and his wife J have 5 children. R annai and his wife H have 4 children. Both of them live in the US.

M annai married N, a Singaporean Pakistani (from a family of professionals) who converted to Christianity (imagine the dismay at that point of time, but her family got over it). They have 2 adult daughters (1 daughter is dating a Caucasian) and a son.

J annai (Hindu) married a Singaporean Tamil(Catholic) raised their children Hindu but go to church too. Their son V, married a Tamil/Punjabi lady and they have 2 sons (They live in Australia). Their daughter married a Caucasian Aussie and are living in Australia.

G annai married a Tamil-Chinese Thai from Kedah, Malaysia. They have 3 sons and their oldest son just married a Singaporean Chinese.

As for my mother in law’s side of the family, One brother married a Malay Muslim divorcee with 7 children (if I recall clearly) but have no biological children. In her family, there have been 2 divorces. One of her brothers was married to a Portugese-Chinese, that marriage ended rather quickly. The other is her niece who was married to a Tamil.

My point in short is that, marriage is what you make of it. It is about two committed mature adults making marriage work regardless or ethnicity or religion. I cannot comprehend as to why one would feel less of Indian or Chinese or whatever ethnic group you are from. We are of the human race, I bleed red and so do you.

“In the vast majority of cases….Millions of women…” etc. This is just speculative ingratiating BS. Your perceptions are that of your own sub-caste/community, you’re not an authority on India society.
Something that irks me is the perception of the average Westerner that the role of an Indian women is that of a prisoner, thanks for perpetuating the myth!