Comments on: About http://gorigirl.com intercultural relationship stories and advice Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:22:04 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.3 By: Nicki http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-2287 Nicki Wed, 26 Aug 2009 03:22:15 +0000 #comment-2287 I'm So glad i found you blog site! .... Wondering if you can give me some advice. Im 22 years old and i was born here in the u.s so you can say im part american as well as indian specifically hindu. My parents are very traditional just like the rest of them and i respect that however i have been dating a man that im crazy about for 2 years. We definitly know where we want to be in the mext 5 years but ther is only one problem my parents dont know he exist! Mmy parents have always told me to bring home an indian guy and if i was ever to do the oppisite they would never speak to me. My parents have had a ruff time in their marriage (arrage marriage) and that is soome where i dont want to be. And i never really had a relationship with either of my parents where i can tell them anything. They would be extremley upset if i did tell them. My boyfirend has introduced me to his entrie family and they love me im at his house almost everyday. And latley our relationship is tearing apart because i know how he feels about not knowing my parents. He feels like im ashamed of him there for i havnt told them yet. I dont know what to do and i def dont want to loose him. I feel in my hear that i am not doing anything worng but im parents eyes it the worse thing i can do! ..... Sorry to chat your ear off but i would appreciate you advice, since you have been down that road! Nicki I’m So glad i found you blog site! …. Wondering if you can give me some advice. Im 22 years old and i was born here in the u.s so you can say im part american as well as indian specifically hindu. My parents are very traditional just like the rest of them and i respect that however i have been dating a man that im crazy about for 2 years. We definitly know where we want to be in the mext 5 years but ther is only one problem my parents dont know he exist! Mmy parents have always told me to bring home an indian guy and if i was ever to do the oppisite they would never speak to me. My parents have had a ruff time in their marriage (arrage marriage) and that is soome where i dont want to be. And i never really had a relationship with either of my parents where i can tell them anything. They would be extremley upset if i did tell them. My boyfirend has introduced me to his entrie family and they love me im at his house almost everyday. And latley our relationship is tearing apart because i know how he feels about not knowing my parents. He feels like im ashamed of him there for i havnt told them yet. I dont know what to do and i def dont want to loose him. I feel in my hear that i am not doing anything worng but im parents eyes it the worse thing i can do! ….. Sorry to chat your ear off but i would appreciate you advice, since you have been down that road!

Nicki

]]> By: iheartbombayguy http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-2262 iheartbombayguy Tue, 18 Aug 2009 12:49:38 +0000 #comment-2262 Hi- I have a story to share and want some suggestions. <br>I am white american, and have recently met an indian man from bombay. <br>he is probably the dream guy i have waited for...and never thought i would find that outside of my race, even though i have never had an issue with interracial dating. <br>I am pretty much head over heals with this man and he feels the same way about me. <br>however he recently asked his mother about being with an american, and she immediately told him he would be disowned if he were to ever marry an american. <br>I was pretty heart broken about this because it seems we make such a perfect match that i can't see why race is an issue. <br>Are there any ways of getting through to the parents about this or can someone help me understand why they don't like americans? growing up in the south, i have seen racism in the worst forms but have never been the recipient of it and now i feel so horrible to have this happen at this time. <br>I am very interested in the indian culture and am willing to convert to the hindi religion for him since i am more of an eastern religion anyway...i just had never actually converted. <br>I thought this would be a start with his parents if they at least know i am willing to adopt all of his indian culture and religion...(with the exception of not having an interracial marraige... :-( <br>Any help or advise is appreciated...<br>To make this worse, they have told him if he is not married by a certain age, he is to have an arranged marriage in India??? Hi- I have a story to share and want some suggestions.
I am white american, and have recently met an indian man from bombay.
he is probably the dream guy i have waited for…and never thought i would find that outside of my race, even though i have never had an issue with interracial dating.
I am pretty much head over heals with this man and he feels the same way about me.
however he recently asked his mother about being with an american, and she immediately told him he would be disowned if he were to ever marry an american.
I was pretty heart broken about this because it seems we make such a perfect match that i can't see why race is an issue.
Are there any ways of getting through to the parents about this or can someone help me understand why they don't like americans? growing up in the south, i have seen racism in the worst forms but have never been the recipient of it and now i feel so horrible to have this happen at this time.
I am very interested in the indian culture and am willing to convert to the hindi religion for him since i am more of an eastern religion anyway…i just had never actually converted.
I thought this would be a start with his parents if they at least know i am willing to adopt all of his indian culture and religion…(with the exception of not having an interracial marraige… :-(
Any help or advise is appreciated…
To make this worse, they have told him if he is not married by a certain age, he is to have an arranged marriage in India???

]]> By: Priya http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-2226 Priya Wed, 29 Jul 2009 07:51:29 +0000 #comment-2226 Hi Gori Girl, <br><br>I stumbled onto your site in the middle of a sleepless night. I am a Bengali woman, getting ready to marry my Chinese fiance at the end of Aug. My parents are 110% opposed to our marriage, while his family is fine with it. I just wanted to say thank you for providing such a wonderful forum for discussion. I've found a lot of comfort in reading the stories of other intercultural couples. Thank you, and I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world. ;-) Hi Gori Girl,

I stumbled onto your site in the middle of a sleepless night. I am a Bengali woman, getting ready to marry my Chinese fiance at the end of Aug. My parents are 110% opposed to our marriage, while his family is fine with it. I just wanted to say thank you for providing such a wonderful forum for discussion. I've found a lot of comfort in reading the stories of other intercultural couples. Thank you, and I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world. ;-)

]]> By: V http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-2125 V Mon, 13 Jul 2009 19:29:45 +0000 #comment-2125 Hi!<br>I ran into your blog after trying to look up sites on the internet about going against Indianness and the culture and what that does to people. My parents are from India, and as such I guess I have to say I'm Indian American (although I just call myself a New Yorker :) ). I have always been in interracial relationships and am currently dating a -gasp - white guy. We often joke about how horrific it is within INdian communities to date or be with a Gora...or rather its mostly me joking, being sarcastic etc coz thats my way to deal with the fact that I absolutely cannot tell my family about him or that my mom calls me a slut etc. <br><br>I just wonder if it is "more acceptable" for an Indian guy to be with a White girl, than the other way around. <br><br>Well, kudos on being a blog with a refreshing viewpoint into this desi culture. :)<br><br>V Hi!
I ran into your blog after trying to look up sites on the internet about going against Indianness and the culture and what that does to people. My parents are from India, and as such I guess I have to say I'm Indian American (although I just call myself a New Yorker :) ). I have always been in interracial relationships and am currently dating a -gasp – white guy. We often joke about how horrific it is within INdian communities to date or be with a Gora…or rather its mostly me joking, being sarcastic etc coz thats my way to deal with the fact that I absolutely cannot tell my family about him or that my mom calls me a slut etc.

I just wonder if it is “more acceptable” for an Indian guy to be with a White girl, than the other way around.

Well, kudos on being a blog with a refreshing viewpoint into this desi culture. :)

V

]]> By: Max Mueller's Dharam Patni http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-1987 Max Mueller's Dharam Patni Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:25:23 +0000 #comment-1987 Palash, how old are you, where do you live? Chinta mat karo bandhu, I maybe able to help you! LOL. Palash, how old are you, where do you live? Chinta mat karo bandhu, I maybe able to help you! LOL.

]]> By: Palash http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-1984 Palash Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:11:39 +0000 #comment-1984 Hi I'm glad I found this site. I'm an Indian Bengali man and seem to gel very nicely with "Gori" girls. There was an East European girl last where I worked and she was everything I ever wanted in a woman! Unfortunately, it didn't quite work out. I still have a strong preference for them because of their exotic appeal -so much so that Indian women don't really satisfy me any more. I really wanna marry a "Gori". The problem is where to meet them? Not tourist spots or nightclubs or places like that. I would want someone educated and family-oriented. Unfortunately, most of my time is spent among Indians so the chances of finding a "Gori" are slim for me -as of now. But, even then I've made up my mind. As long as I don't find my "Gori", I'll probably remain single.<br>Rant over. Hi I'm glad I found this site. I'm an Indian Bengali man and seem to gel very nicely with “Gori” girls. There was an East European girl last where I worked and she was everything I ever wanted in a woman! Unfortunately, it didn't quite work out. I still have a strong preference for them because of their exotic appeal -so much so that Indian women don't really satisfy me any more. I really wanna marry a “Gori”. The problem is where to meet them? Not tourist spots or nightclubs or places like that. I would want someone educated and family-oriented. Unfortunately, most of my time is spent among Indians so the chances of finding a “Gori” are slim for me -as of now. But, even then I've made up my mind. As long as I don't find my “Gori”, I'll probably remain single.
Rant over.

]]> By: KJParmar http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-1566 KJParmar Mon, 23 Mar 2009 17:17:02 +0000 #comment-1566 So glad that I found you... I am currently engaged to an Indian man and am working hard in learning Hindi, to cook Indian food as well as he does ha! :), and get past the concerns of his family. Look forward to reading your blogs! So glad that I found you… I am currently engaged to an Indian man and am working hard in learning Hindi, to cook Indian food as well as he does ha! :) , and get past the concerns of his family. Look forward to reading your blogs!

]]> By: GoriGirl http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-1460 GoriGirl Tue, 03 Mar 2009 02:36:25 +0000 #comment-1460 Hi Amy & welcome to the blog! I'm glad you found the "stereotypes" post to be of use - I'll admit to being rather proud of it, and it is so useful to point to when people start throwing around the stereotypes. Hi Amy & welcome to the blog! I'm glad you found the “stereotypes” post to be of use – I'll admit to being rather proud of it, and it is so useful to point to when people start throwing around the stereotypes.

]]> By: Amy http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-1455 Amy Mon, 02 Mar 2009 01:10:42 +0000 #comment-1455 I just found you at random and I read one of your blogs about generalizing and stereotyping (I'm of Asian descent)....I found it to be awesome...Just thought I'd let you know. I just found you at random and I read one of your blogs about generalizing and stereotyping (I'm of Asian descent)….I found it to be awesome…Just thought I'd let you know.

]]> By: GoriGirl http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-1355 GoriGirl Sat, 07 Feb 2009 19:36:13 +0000 #comment-1355 Hi Mandy! I'm glad you found the blog, and I hope you've enjoyed reading the things here! I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to delete this comment as I try to answer & then remove any comments on the About page. Obviously it sometimes takes me awhile to get around to it! :-) Hope to hear more from you in the future. Hi Mandy! I'm glad you found the blog, and I hope you've enjoyed reading the things here! I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to delete this comment as I try to answer & then remove any comments on the About page. Obviously it sometimes takes me awhile to get around to it! :-) Hope to hear more from you in the future.

]]> By: GoriGirl http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-1354 GoriGirl Sat, 07 Feb 2009 19:35:30 +0000 #comment-1354 Hi Stephanie! I'm glad you found the blog, and I hope you've enjoyed reading the things here! I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to delete this comment as I try to answer & then remove any comments on the About page. Obviously it sometimes takes me awhile to get around to it! :-) Hope to hear more from you in the future. Hi Stephanie! I'm glad you found the blog, and I hope you've enjoyed reading the things here! I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to delete this comment as I try to answer & then remove any comments on the About page. Obviously it sometimes takes me awhile to get around to it! :-) Hope to hear more from you in the future.

]]> By: Stephanie http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-1117 Stephanie Sat, 17 Jan 2009 20:29:44 +0000 #comment-1117 I'm so excited to find this blog. I am a Midwestern wife with an Indian husband. We've been married two years and are still learning lots about each other's cultures - and more about ourselves individually in the process! There are not enough resources our there for our mix though many couples are in our same shoes. So thanks for publishing your experiences. I'm looking forward to reading through your posts and finding another girl going many a lot of the same cultural curiousities with all things Indian as I. Thanks again for this blog! I’m so excited to find this blog. I am a Midwestern wife with an Indian husband. We’ve been married two years and are still learning lots about each other’s cultures – and more about ourselves individually in the process! There are not enough resources our there for our mix though many couples are in our same shoes. So thanks for publishing your experiences. I’m looking forward to reading through your posts and finding another girl going many a lot of the same cultural curiousities with all things Indian as I. Thanks again for this blog!

]]> By: mandy http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-1020 mandy Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:01:06 +0000 #comment-1020 hello, I came across your blog when i google the stereotype online, and I found your post was really convincing. I am gonna write an dessertation on cultural stereotype, so perhaps I will quote some words from your article. My name is mandy, a chinese girl. i really admire you that you get a wonderful intercultural marriage. When i was in US, i usually hang out with my international friends, and i found out some communicative barriar due to the cultural differences, which is really a headache. Wish you happy, Merry christmas!!! hello, I came across your blog when i google the stereotype online, and I found your post was really convincing.
I am gonna write an dessertation on cultural stereotype, so perhaps I will quote some words from your article.
My name is mandy, a chinese girl. i really admire you that you get a wonderful intercultural marriage. When i was in US, i usually hang out with my international friends, and i found out some communicative barriar due to the cultural differences, which is really a headache.
Wish you happy, Merry christmas!!!

]]> By: CaliforniaTransplant http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-958 CaliforniaTransplant Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:06:08 +0000 #comment-958 Dreaming, I'm so sorry to hear about broken heart. I definitely know how painful that is, and I know how frustrating it can feel when it seems like a relationship ends because of things that are beyond your control. I've found in my own experience that it's really hard to nail down exactly why a person ends a relationship and all the reasons aren't necessarily revealed. If your ex really did get involved with you when he knew ultimately there was no future for your relationship, that does suck and I'm very sorry. The one thing I want to caution you about is using your own personal experience to stereotype Indian men. Gori actually wrote a great post on the topic of stereotyping and generalizing. My own husband is North Indian and his family is pretty traditional but he never treated me the way you are concerned Indian men will treat your friends. I think you’ll find a number of people on here who have had positive experiences in their relationships with Indian men as well as those who have had a hard time. Warning your friends to stay away from all Indian men because you’ve had a bad experience in one relationship just isn’t fair to the Indian men out there who would make great significant others and don't have hidden agendas. Again, I sympathize with your frustrations and my heart goes out to you. As cliché as it sounds, time is very healing, and it does get easier. Dreaming, I’m so sorry to hear about broken heart. I definitely know how painful that is, and I know how frustrating it can feel when it seems like a relationship ends because of things that are beyond your control. I’ve found in my own experience that it’s really hard to nail down exactly why a person ends a relationship and all the reasons aren’t necessarily revealed. If your ex really did get involved with you when he knew ultimately there was no future for your relationship, that does suck and I’m very sorry.

The one thing I want to caution you about is using your own personal experience to stereotype Indian men. Gori actually wrote a great post on the topic of stereotyping and generalizing. My own husband is North Indian and his family is pretty traditional but he never treated me the way you are concerned Indian men will treat your friends. I think you’ll find a number of people on here who have had positive experiences in their relationships with Indian men as well as those who have had a hard time. Warning your friends to stay away from all Indian men because you’ve had a bad experience in one relationship just isn’t fair to the Indian men out there who would make great significant others and don’t have hidden agendas.

Again, I sympathize with your frustrations and my heart goes out to you. As cliché as it sounds, time is very healing, and it does get easier.

]]> By: Dreaming with a broken heart http://gorigirl.com/about#comment-957 Dreaming with a broken heart Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:15:31 +0000 #comment-957 Hi, I came across your website when searching for inter-cultural relationships. I find your blog very useful, I only wished that I found it sooner. I am a southeast asian girl who fell in love with an North Indian/Hindu. Unfortunately, it didn't work out because his family is very traditional. His parents are seeking for a wife as I am writing this. I met him when I went to the US, we dated for a few months and we had an amazing connection. We had a chemistry that I've never felt with anyone else. Although he told me that he loved me, I realized now that maybe he really didn't because he thought that what he had will never work out, that we had too much cultural differences and he loves his family too much to hurt them by being with me. He broke my heart BIG time. I felt used, crushed and torn into pieces. I envy you... because your husband loves you enough to fight for you. The guy who I thought was the love of my life might have just played around with me and used "culture" as an excuse to "get off the hook" when he was ready to go home for an arranged marriage. So now I am biased about Indian men. I warn my friends to stay away from them because they will only use them until their parents found the suitable partner for them. I really hope I get over this soon, I don't want to be bitter but I was really hurt. Crying every night doesn't relieve the pain, maybe only time will. Hi,

I came across your website when searching for inter-cultural relationships. I find your blog very useful, I only wished that I found it sooner.
I am a southeast asian girl who fell in love with an North Indian/Hindu. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out because his family is very traditional. His parents are seeking for a wife as I am writing this. I met him when I went to the US, we dated for a few months and we had an amazing connection. We had a chemistry that I’ve never felt with anyone else. Although he told me that he loved me, I realized now that maybe he really didn’t because he thought that what he had will never work out, that we had too much cultural differences and he loves his family too much to hurt them by being with me. He broke my heart BIG time. I felt used, crushed and torn into pieces. I envy you… because your husband loves you enough to fight for you.

The guy who I thought was the love of my life might have just played around with me and used “culture” as an excuse to “get off the hook” when he was ready to go home for an arranged marriage. So now I am biased about Indian men. I warn my friends to stay away from them because they will only use them until their parents found the suitable partner for them. I really hope I get over this soon, I don’t want to be bitter but I was really hurt. Crying every night doesn’t relieve the pain, maybe only time will.

]]>