A Couple of Great Resources
In my internet browsing I’ve found a couple of sites that might be of interest to yah’ll.
First, of there’s a pretty active forum at Indiebride.com (which is a good resource in-and-of-itself), called Intermarriage, where people pretty much just discuss intercultural relationships. Different races, different religions, different nationalities - it looks like it pretty much all is represented there. The archives are massive too.
Then there’s a livejournal community, called Masala Couples, which focuses on intercultural relationships where one partner is South Indian. Again, the community looks pretty active, and there’s a lot of history to browse. And everyone is super-duper friendly.
Enjoy!
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Wow - your wedding sounds quite interesting! Interesting that G’s family insisted on a married couple for your parents’ part in things - my uncle (who is single) filled in for my dad without any trouble at my wedding in India.
I think that galaxie might be on IndieBride’s Intermarriage forum as well. I have no idea how I never found these resources before!
Yup, galaxie is around there sometimes too.
The married couple thing really irritated me. But I figure that if that was the biggest problem I had with the whole process, I got off lucky. My mom was a little annoyed as well, but was nervous at the prospect of taking an active part in a ceremony with which she was entirely unfamiliar, so was happy to get out of it. At the end of the day, we were married, and that’s all that mattered!
D! I’m so excited to find out that the wedding that admired for so many months after seeing it on IB is yours! One of the many reasons I’m quite happy to have a Hindu wedding as opposed to a more Western-style wedding is that I’ve never really been a big fan of white wedding gowns, but yours is one of the few I’ve seen that I really, really love - I think the red detail and embroidery is gorgeous. You looked absolutely stunning! I admire the way you were able to pay tribute to both cultures and still gather everyone for a single event. I know how tough that is to do - kudos for pulling it off so well!
As for the married couple thing, in my circumstance, even though my parents are still married, my father is unfortunately too sick to attend my wedding. One of the first things I asked the officiant when we met with him was whether my brother (who is single and three years younger than me) could fill in for my Dad, and he said that was totally fine (much to my relief - I can’t imagine anyone else filling in for my Dad except him).
CT: I am so sorry to hear about your father. I am glad your brother can fill in. For what it’s worth…I think your dad’s spirit will be there. The Hindu ceremony is so deeply spiritual and other-worldly, I’m willing to bet you will somehow feel his presence. I’m wondering, could there be an added part to the ceremony to recognize your father and make him feel more present to you?
Just thoughts…
CT - thanks for the compliments! 
I saw my dress in a magazine and knew that it was the one. Every other plain white dress was so boring after that. Actually, that designer (Alfred Angelo) has a whole line of dresses with colored accents that are beautiful and also fairly inexpensive. So sorry to hear about your dad, but you’re so lucky that your brother can fill in for him. I really think that the married couple thing was just a weird quirk with G’s family. Incidentally, I did have some family represented in the Hindu ceremony. My brother held the antarpat with G’s brother, and my sister was a bridesmaid. (The bridesmaids all stood by the mandap holding diyas when I made my entrance.) Also, my uncle escorted me, as is tradition, although he didn’t carry me in because (1) I’m not so comfortable doing that and (2) he had just had surgery.
NK - IB is IndieBride.com, specifically “Kvetch,” which is the forums. GG linked to the Intermarriage board in her post. If you go to the forums and search for the thread titled “Indian/American wedding in central NJ,” you’ll find my wedding story and a link to my pictures.
Thank you NK, that’s so sweet. I do think I’ll feel my dad will be there in spirit. And I talked to the priest about acknowledging my dad during the ceremony, and he said he’d hand me the mike so I can say whatever I want. Now I’ve just got to come up with something to say that won’t make me totally choke up.
I’m visiting my parents right now (GG, I just drove past TINO to make sure it’s still there, and rest assured it is :)), and I brought my dad a shirt that says “Father of the Bride”, and we watched the Steve Martin film together. Even though he’s not too mentally with it any more (he has dementia), I think he still senses what’s going on and is happy and supportive in his own way.
D, I just asked my maternal uncle (a lifelong bachelor) if he’d walk me down the aisle, and he’s thrilled to do it. I don’t want him to carry me in either because I’m pretty sure (1) the act of lifting me up would probably kill him and (2) he’d drop me flat on my face (an experience no bride should have on her wedding day!) I think that tradition stems from a time when brides married at very young ages (like 12). But it’s not so great for a grown woman!
@ D: let me chime in, and say that your dress was indeed gorgeous (I didn’t have time to look at the pictures you linked to). One of the reasons I loved having an Indian wedding was because I look pretty washed out in white - but maybe I would have found the Alfred Angelo line if I had had reason to go looking.
@ CaliforniaTransplant: I’m glad that your brother & uncle will be fill in for your father’s role - and I’m sure that your father can feel your happiness about the upcoming marriage, even if he can’t understand the details. Also glad to hear that Tino is still standing (although it looks so different with all the new buildings!)
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I’ve been on IB for over two years now — it was very helpful for wedding planning. My wedding story is posted on there, too; search for the thread called “Indian/American Wedding in Central NJ.” I lurk on Masala Couples, too, but I don’t have LiveJournal, so I don’t post.