Gori Girl

Intercultural Couple Question #4: What Are Our Biggest Communication Challenges?

This is the fourth post from my ten question series on questions and discussions that are particularly important for intercultural or interracial couples to have. All of the posts from this series can be found on the series index, The Ten Questions Every Intercultural Couple Should Discuss.

As all of our friends and family (and, heck, most of you) already know, Aditya and I have this wee little tendency to argue… about everything under the sun. While most of these arguments are playful in nature – the person who’s wrong either owes the other one hundred million dollars or an extra turn at washing the dishes – occasionally one of our arguments can turn quite nasty. We’ve gotten better over the years at discussing things like civilized people (by both of our cultures’ definitions of civilized), but clear, careful communication remains our greatest problem as an intercultural couple.

Talking and debating things – especially about the big issues – can be a challenge for all couples, but intercultural couples can find it especially difficult. When you grow up with dissimilar cultural expectations and social norms, it’s to be expected that your assumptions about what good communication is will be different.

• Is it acceptable to rant and rave and get all your frustrated emotions out during a disagreement, or is it better to stick to the logical facts & reasoning – even if that makes you seem as emotionless as a Vulcan?
• Should you say please & thank you to your close friends and family?
• Can you talk about death or other bad things around the dinner table, or will that lead to bad luck?
• And in all these conversations, what language should you be speaking, anyways?

I’ve written previously on the steps to becoming a good general intercultural communicator, because, well, it’s a hard & long process. It’s one that Aditya and I are still going through, as we figure out how to get past our cultural assumptions about communicating with others and onto the subject of today’s post: identifying what’s stopping you from communicating well with each other – what steps of the communication process are you stumbling over?

Forums are back!

Hi Folks, Just letting you know that the Gori Girl forums are now back online. All previous posts on the forums have been restored, and we are now open for posting! ~A

Spring Gori Girl Meetup is On!

For anyone interested in joining the Spring Gori Girl Meetup in DC (we’re doing this quarterly now), the details are below. All are welcome, and feel free to bring friends if you like.

Who: Anyone who’s interested in coming.

What: A chance to chat in person and get some good food & drinks.

Where: Northside Social Coffee & Wine, 3211 Wilson Blvd., Arlington VA (Orange line, Clarendon stop)

When: I’ll be there at 6:30 pm, at the latest, as will Aditya, and we’ll stay there until at least 7:30 pm. Then, depending on the interest of the group, we will either continue to stay there for dinner (Northside has a small menu) or will go to one of the local restaurants to eat. If you want to come, but are unsure whether you’ll be able to arrive by 7:30, please send me an email at gorigirl.admin@gmail.com, and we’ll figure out something.

Why: Dude. ‘Cause.

Anyone Interested in a Spring Meetup April 16th?

Well, we’re back from India! And had the fun of coming back to find the blog hacked and needing a big clean-up. But that’s more or less over (forums will be up this weekend or earlier, with no data lost) – so let’s move on to nicer thoughts… like a spring meetup here in Washington DC!

Americanepali and Andrea have already indicated that they’ll both be available to meet on April 16th, so I’m going to tentatively schedule the meetup for that evening. Anyone else interested in joining in?