Gori Girl

Our German Shepherd/Beagle Puppy: Kajol

Yesterday Aditya and I welcomed the newest member of the family, Kajol, to our home. She’s a seven-month old bundle of happy energy, as you can see from the blur that is her tail in the picture below. While her German Shepherd breeding is very clear from her coloring, the beagle is just a best guess, given her small size, facial features, and desire to sniff out everything while on walks – including things like bumblebees. Puppies just don’t have any sense, do they?

Indian Parental Problems: When Your Intercultural or Interracial Relationship Is Suddenly an Issue

A new reader to the blog, jbf, recently posted her personal story as a detailed comment in the post Initial Family Resistance to your Intercultural Relationship. Jbf’s problem, however, is a bit different from the one highlighted in that post, so, with her permission, I’m hoisting her comment up into a post of its own, along with the comments from others that followed her original one. I’m sure she’d appreciate any further advice or suggestions you guys have. My own advice will be coming in the comments in a couple of hours. Of course, I’m not sure if I can do any better than what’s been said so far – I’m very impressed with the level of thoughtful dialogue occuring here!

Jbf’s story & problems:

I’m not sure if it is too late to comment on this, but I just came across it while searching for comfort in my situation. My friends and family have given me their support, but in matters of intolerance I do not know if they can offer anything more. I (a 25 yo white American girl) have been dating an Indian guy (born in America to Punjabi parents who moved here 2 years prior) for two years. I will call him B. We both hold graduate degrees and have careers. We met while in graduate school through mutual friends. We lived in different cities but found out that our parents lived only 15 minutes from each other. We quickly became close and decided to start a relationship despite the distance. I met his family very early on. They were receptive and welcomed me into their home. I even spent the night on multiple occasions. When he would come visit me he would bring small gifts from his mother, candles, potpourri, etc. I spent Christmas with his immediate family the last two years (I have not met extended family beyond cousins as dating is not a part of Indian culture). He graduated and started a job about a year ago. Within a few months of this we decided that when I graduated in a year I would find a job where he was and that we would move in together with the intent of being engaged within a year. Although untraditional it was important to both of us to be together in the same place before making such a commitment.

Confluence on the Roads: Thoughts about American, Indian, and German Traffic

Yesterday Aditya and I made the trek to the holy queen of all box stores, IKEA. It was the first day of the Preview Summer Sale, so of course we were there, battle plan mapped out, lists made, room measurements at hand, and stomaches ready for meatballs. The plan was that I would arrive mid-afternoon with the U-Haul rental van (the better to transport our loot – we take IKEA seriously in this household), and Aditya would come directly from the office once he was off work at 7. Once there, my orders were to make one reconnaissance sweep, then head to the ground floor to secure the bed we’ve been trying to purchase for the past year. Yes, we’ve been sleeping with a mattress on the floor for a year rather than give up on our dream cheapo bed just because of little things like it always being out of stock.

We plan, and God laughs. I think it was when the third firetruck passed me, sirens blaring, and traffic ground to a complete standstill that I realized I would not be reaching IKEA at 1300 hours. There I sat, stalled on the highway, surveying the baking asphalt meadows around. To pass the time, I started observing the cooperation of the other drivers in responding to the emergency vehicles and the on-going traffic jam, and thinking about how other car cultures I’m familiar with cooperate in their own ways.

Comments Policy

We had a recent commenter here – Akshay/Amit – who receives the distinction of being the first person who’s been banned from the site (if you missed all the action, you can see all of the non-deleted fun here). He started out amusing – and was even making some points that were somewhat on topic, if not exactly rational – but quickly degenerated into straight-up insults (they weren’t even funny!). So he’s banned. Given that situation, I thought it was a good idea to lay out some clear ground rules on commenting here at Gorigirl.com. I don’t think it’s needed for the most part (you’ll are friendly!), but I’m just trying to cover my ass here.

Indian Wedding Story: Part Four

This is Part Four of a continuing series on my Indian wedding adventure. If you’re new to Gori Girl, try checking out Part One, where the story starts.

When I last left off on the story of our wedding in India (see part three), I had just arrived, as the picture above shows.

The lovely lady trailing behind me is a friend of the family (and Aditya’s childhood math tutor), who’d been helping me with all the preparations – it was like she was an older aunt of mine for the day. There were flowers ALL OVER the place as I arrived – from where the car dropped me off to the second floor hall where the ceremony would be, I was surrounded by sheets of flowers, while walking under flower arches (spelling Aditya’s and my names in flowers) and over a red carpet, just like you see at movie premiers. Of course, the only person who took pictures of this wonder was my uncle, who, of course, has not yet gotten around to sending me his photos.

Any Intercultural Couples Interested in Sharing their Wedding Adventures?

Hey guys – I recently came into contact with a woman in an intercultural relationship who became fed up with the lack of resources for intercultural couples trying to navigate thorny cross-cultural wedding issues. So she’s decided to fill the gap herself by writing a book on the subject (yay for initiative!). She’s looking to interview any sort of intercultural couple who are willing to share the story of their intercultural wedding, or are currently in the midst of planning such a wedding:

Why is the Goat Wearing a Sweater? Six Unspectacular Quirks Meme

I was recently tagged by Blue of the blog bluelightful, bluelicious, bluelovely to complete a meme on “six unspectacular quirks.” I was a bit hesitant to do the meme, at first, ’cause I figured I’d already done the whole “personal life” update post, and, really, there’s only so many times a week I can talk just about myself before I start making Aditya’s life miserable with a swelled head. “Where’s my tea & biscuits? I need caffeine to post. This is important, Aditya. I’ve been tagged!”

Then I thought about it a bit more, and realized that if I couldn’t come up with six intercultural-type quirks about myself, then all those people who’ve talked about having me committed to an insane asylum for being crazy (I prefer “quirky,” thank you) would be proven wrong. And I’d hate to make so many friends, relatives, and coworkers look bad, so I guess it’s time to roll up my sleeves and show just how quirky in a interculturally-relevant-but-not-culturally-insensitive way I can be. Of course, the qualifier of “unspectacular” means you all will be be missing the good stuff…

Change Happens: Updates From Our Cross-Cultural Household

Gori Girl (the blog) isn’t meant to be just a personal site – while I talk about my life and marriage a fair amount here, the point isn’t to just blab to the interweb about my life (not that I don’t enjoy blogs that do) , but instead to add something of value to yours. However, there’s been a few shakeups in Aditya’s and my lives recently – some of which has & will affect this blog – so I thought I’d just write a short update post, as well as write about a couple new features coming up in the sidebars. So consider this a metablog post, if you will.